How should parents discipline their children?

Question

MlleCake · Accepted Answer

There are many ways for children to teach their behavior how to behave, and discipline simply means "teaching", not necessarily punishment or spanking.

As I was studying child development and learning to be a pre-school teacher we read a great deal about how to effectively teach children what behavior was expected of them. I actually found that peer pressure was the most effective form of discipline. When I asked kids to put away toys, line up for something, having some kids there who naturally just wanted to go along with what was asked encouraged other kids to understand what was being asked and go along with it.

In the home, big brother really does help little brother figure out how to act (or, whomever the children are in the home) and children socializing in play really do help other children learn what proper behaviors are.

But where does it start? It starts with parents who are active in a dialogues with their children helping them understand what behaviors are expected. It comes from setting realistic expectations, and making sure the child understands them. It also comes from removing temptation in some situations, and not taking your child into a situation that entices the child to misbehave more until they are in better control of themselves.

Positive reinforcement of good behaviors goes a long way toward helping a child develop.

Negative behaviors can come from a lot of things. Is the child hungry, lonely, tired, in pain, bored, scared, nervous? Can you alter the environment to create less stress for the child so that behavior is more manageable?

What about willful defiance though? Well, that is a power struggle between the child and parent. In many ways, a child does need to learn that he or she does not get to win these battles. That requires parents to remain rational and calm, not letting the offense rattle them.

Is punishment always necessary? Probably not. Parents sell their kids short when they don't sit down and discuss negative behaviors, especially in older children. A great deal of behavior modification can happen just by talking it through and reasserting boundaries. Punishments may be needed to reinforce the natural consequence of actions.

But punishments can come in many forms. Usually something that "makes-up" for the misdeed works the best, such as - ignoring yardwork means having to also help in the elderly neighbor's yard, or not being home by curfew means curfew gets set lower for a while.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The occasional spanking is okay. As long as there is no bruising and it’s only on the bottom.
Also, looking at a child eye level is rather intimidating. It demands respect without any spanking. It works like magic. Another thing that I have used is making anything you want them to do seem like it’s their idea.
For instance, “You want to eat your breakfast, don’t you?”
But it only works if they aren’t frustrated...

Canuck37 · Accepted Answer

I don't think the biggest issue with discipline is the children; I think the biggest issue is with adults. Parents have a tendency to discipline children for doing things the parents themselves do. This ends up pissing off the kids, because kids can see this for themselves. Kids are not stupid. Kids often know their parents better than the parents know themselves.

I understand why parents discipline their kids for doing things the parents are doing. It's because parents are not happy with the way that they turned out, and they want to put their children on a better path. But children simply see their parents as a hypocrite, and lose all respect for them, which results in misbehaviour and acting out.

If parents are genuine people, and more specifically people their kids can trust genuinely, then there won't be as many problems with misbehaviour, and the kids will turn out alright.

This isn't to say that parents should try to be their kid's friends, and let them do whatever. It is quite possible to spoil kids by giving them too much power. Rather, if parents are willing to discipline themselves, then they earn the right to discipline their kids. And if parents let themselves go, then their kids will turn out the same way.

A good parent therefore needs to be willing to become the type of person they want their kids to become.

PatrickJames · Accepted Answer

Parents should definitely spank their children, I got spanked loads growing up and I can say it has definitely shaped and moulded me for the better. I have lots of skills and qualifications, no criminal records, good manners and etiquette.

Without spanking I wouldn't know my rights from wrongs. My parents instilled that fear of being disciplined into me if I ever did wrong. This has instilled a awareness of consequence and accountability whenever I'm contemplating whether to doing something or not.

Going into adulthood, being disciplined as a child has made me understand the consequences of actions on a wider scale. I would nevet commit crimes, I would never do things that are immoral, I make conscious efforts to be more considerate of people etc.

All of this from being spanked as a child loool

parteegirl · Answer

Every child is different. Every parent is different. Every family is different. There is no one right way. I guarantee no one has navigated the dynamics and issues I am dealing with with my 2 boys. Even their counselor is stumped and we are trying to navigate through things. What works with one doesn't work with the other. You have to find what works with each child and for each situation. What work with a child may not work in every situation. Trial and error.

adolescentswede · Answer

I was a strongly against physical punishment I have however recently encountered some counter arguments. I now more would say that discipline should mimic societies punishments but in a reduced applicable sense time outs until the child behaves would be a mimicry of prison

caitlin8839 · Answer

I can't believe how many people have suggested spanking as a good way of disciplining children. I was spanked when I was younger and all it made me was afraid of my parents. Apart from this, it teaches children that violence is the best way of managing a situation. Good parents will find other ways of disciplining their children which will teach their children good morals and values and create a positive view of the parents within the child's mind. Spanking your children can have so many negative impacts upon how they develop. Parents are meant to be the most powerful source of comfort for their children, not something that's willing to harm them.

Prettysammie · Answer

I’m not a parent, but I think as long as discipline happens immediately it doesn’t matter what it actually is. They just need to know that whatever it was is unacceptable and learn they shouldn’t do it again.

My mom went from not paying any attention to hitting me for no reason so I just learned to be scared of her. I promisssed myself I would never do that if I ever have kids.

Steelgerman · Answer

Each child is unique and as they get older you need to shift tactics. I found light spankings worked well for a time then I shifted to removing TV and Video games. In all cases you must have some measure of control over yourself and be able to adequately explain the reason for the discipline. Also reinforce that you love your child and that is why you discipline and teach.

UltimateGohan · Answer

A little bit. Dont be like chi chi or talent will get wasted

NucDylan · Answer

Spank em. If done right, the kid gets 3 maybe 4 spankings EVER but the threat of it makes them learn. It sounds harsh but it works. Life is cruel so you need to teach them that punishment is not going to be a nice thing like a chat or a timeout

ashley_dropps · Answer

i’m against physical punishment because it messed me up, but I’m a better person because of strict parenting. You have to be the parent and not let them get away with whatever they want or they’ll become egotistical brats

Heartcrusher · Answer

I’m just going to say, the not disciplined children are the ones that annoy the teachers and don’t do anything at school but goofing around

Psydchick · Answer

Absolutely. A smack on the bum is in order because some kids are downright unruly. It shouldn't be frequent though.

Want2Know2 · Answer

There are so many ways and I'm not a parent so I guess it depends on the childs personality.

billdhar · Answer

Make them understand the importance of what you're teaching them and make sure they understand the meaning behind your actions, not just accepting it blindly

MemeSupreme · Answer

Depends on the age of the kid and what he/she see's as important or entertaining.

Celtero · Answer

No physical discipline. Take away privileges and explain to the child why what they did is wrong.

jay001 · Answer

Of course, children need discipline, adults need discipline.. with no discipline there would be anarchy

_dardorsama_ · Answer

Eye contact at there level (like the picture) is really important Time-outs according to their age is also good

Ronlbaam · Answer

Spankings. But more importantly, parents need to be more keen aboit what kind of power they have. They need to know what ti take to make the kids care about the consequences. It takes knoing your child and being a bit heartless sometimes.

kamash · Answer

With love and patience and telling them the harms of a particular situation... but sometimes a bit of disco and anger is justified

JaegerBomber · Answer

there's a bunch of studies on this shit go and look it up because none of these assholes on gag will give good answers

Tycho_Panaraffe · Answer

Well if you've seen super nanny timeout can work if you do it right.

IsoUser · Answer

Time Out Of Play, though with boys my son in particular, push ups always worked lol

Nandor · Answer

Tell them if that doesn't help use some help 🍑🖐 (its should represent an ass not pussy)

boulshyte · Answer

every child is different, get to know ur little human and how they takr things in

Anonymous · Answer

They should first teach with love and advice but if they don’t listen, you need to step it up

happyhippo · Answer

With the least amount of violence.

Anon-ymous1 · Answer

Depends what they did.

Omets · Answer

Don't drink and drive. Smoke and fly!

BMorgan123 · Answer

The same why my fokes done it. Got my ass whip

SatSach · Answer

By teaching with love

diegobrando · Answer

Parents should beat their kids

MrMAC777 · Answer

More often.

Anonymous · Answer

Sit on them

Mitsamono · Answer

Belt. Like in 1976

thevoid90 · Answer

Spanking

How should parents discipline their children?

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