Are there any cons to not disciplining your children?

[chris_987]

A lot of people believe there are no cons which is strange things

[RageBabe]

Like Apple said, not knowing right from wrong is probably one of them. Disciplining a child doesn't need to be physical; although it was for me growing up, I think explaining to them why they did what they did was wrong, and taking a toy away from them for a day or two is the best cause of action, or a game or phone if they are teenagers.

[chris_987]

I've seen that type of parenting before and it's disgusting too me. And this is why I believe that women fundamentally are flawed creatures when it comes to leadership. Only men understand the type of respect that human beings should have towards one another. Women apparently don't. I know for a fact that if I take away a toy from a child that they are going to yell and scream. Which is highly disrespectful. To think that you can yell and scream and carry on anyway in the presence of me is crazy. So that's why I don't really think women at any point in time should be in leadership roles because they don't understand even the most basic level of respect that human beings should show to one another let alone children to their parents.

[RageBabe]

How did your mother raise you? It seems like you have a lot of hate towards women. I'd like to know what triggers this.

[chris_987]

Yeah sure we could talk about it. Instead of just making accusations, you can just make a logical argument. Why you think I hate women. Because it would be stupid to throw out accusations out there with any evidence.

[RageBabe]

Okay. 😩

[chris_987]

Trust me I'm built for it

[RageBabe]

🤔😂

[GOLDFISH_smile]

There aren't any cons to not using corporal punishment. Discipline as whole tho yeah, there's Lotta cons to not doing that lol

[chris_987]

When you have children, what's your preferred form of punishment?

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Right now time-outs work best, so those are my preferred.

[chris_987]

And would you blame yourself if they grew up spoiled?

[GOLDFISH_smile]

They aren't spoiled rn, so I don't think that'll be an issue.

[chris_987]

It's a hypothetical question. I think you just gave me the answer

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Hypothetically if in the future my child was spoiled, I'm sure I could look back and see what hypothetically led to that. I can't say whether it would for sure be my fault directly without having more info on this hypothetical situation. I could have hypothetically sent them to boarding school or some shit and didn't see them for years, or i could have gotten divorced and remarried and new parent has different method that could cause spoiling. Assuming literally nothing changed except for that my child suddenly became spoiled, then I would be very confused why that happened with zero indication of why, but as the primary caretaker obviously the responsibility would be on me regardless.

In real life tho they are not spoiled, so I dont see why they would become spoiled unless I or husband suddenly change how we do things or some other drastic change like what could happen in the hypothetical. 🤷‍♀️

[chris_987]

The fact that you wouldn't 100% take accountability for your child being raised. Spoiled tells me all I need to know about how you view discipline. You have to remember children weren't asked to be born. We've made those decisions without their consent. So all accountability should be laid at our feet.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

I'm not the only one raising them. I have a husband. It would be rude to take away his responsibility to raising his child. It would be dumb to ignore the effects living apart from parents for years under new authority figure can have on a child. Like I said if nothing changed and I was the primary caretaker throughout all of their hypothetical future childhood, and hypothetically they suddenly became spoiled as soon as they turned 18, then yes obviously that's on me even if I don't know what I did wrong.

I don't see why a strange future hypothetical is needed to figure out how I view discipline tho. I already told you from the start discipline is necessary for children.

[chris_987]

It's not a strange hypothetical. You claim that putting a child in time out he was discipline. I obviously disagree. But the hypothetical was there to prove that if the child grew up spoiled even though you used your form of discipline, would you ultimately put yourself? Ash the one to be blamed? And you said yes.

But now we can go into what does a spoiled child look like. Has your child ever had a temper tantrum or talk back to you? And if they did, would you consider that being spoiled?

[GOLDFISH_smile]

My child used to have temper tantrums yes, they don't anymore because we've worked on that, partly using time-outs. Lol they're very effective for my child that's why I use them.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

One temper tantrum I wouldn't say spoiled, because it could be a fluke. If it happens more tho then yeah, definitely either spoiled or neglected.

[chris_987]

See that's the difference between men and women, I've asked this question over and over again to prove That woman shouldn't be the disciplinary once. Because women always say a tempered tantrum isn't signs of a child being spoiled. You guys have no concept of respect and how a child should treat a parent.

But it really doesn't matter to me. If women want to be ruled by their kids. You guys are welcome to raise your kids however you see fit

[GOLDFISH_smile]

I said one. Because flukes happen. I don't trust parents who hold children to impossible standards—even adults mess up. I agreed with you that if it isn't just one fluke that's a sign of spoiled child, so I don't know why you act like I excuse it.

[chris_987]

I would say you couldn't be more wrong because let's take the Asian community. They hold their kids to an impossible standard and they are most of our doctors and engineers. So, your low expectations for children in society don't serve any good in the grand scheme of things.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Mental health in a lot of Asian communities is shit. I don't want my kid going to a forest to off themself bc I beat them for crying over math homework. U telling me u never lost your temper, not even once, in ur WHOLE LIFE? Then ur a liar & u can fuck off.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

If your kid NEVER messes up, then what the fuck are you going to beat them for?

[chris_987]

I'm not Asians, I'm just saying there are clues that are left behind to show us the optimal way to raise a child.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Do those clues include suicide rates? U gotta consider the whole picture ESPECIALLY with kids. Yes extreme discipline makes kids more obedient and adult-like, but it also makes them fucked up mentally. Do you want your child to immediately always behave like an adult and never be allowed a learning curve or a childhood? I sure as shit don't. I want my kid to obey me because they trust me and want to do a good job (which they do), not out of fear that i will hurt them (because i won't).

[chris_987]

I don't know if suicide rates are correlated with corporal punishment because I would say a lot of white people that I grew up with especially women would cut them themselves and they had no discipline. So discipline and lack of discipline is not of important when it comes to suicide rates. But it's definitely a factor when it comes to successful parenting

[GOLDFISH_smile]

There's always many variables with kids. U can't ever conclude 100% that one certain thing caused one certain effect. You can look at the whole and say this seems to be related, but yeah no way to 100% verify whether physical discipline causes depression or suicidality, just like there's no way to 100% verify whether not using physical discipline causes being spoiled. 🤷‍♀️ just gotta go with what seems best to u based on what info u have.

[Astarlessnightsky]

Define "disciplining", usually people use this word when they actually mean beating and abusing their kids.

And there are ONLY cons to beating and abusing your kids.

[chris_987]

Disciplinary action is not the same as abuse. The definition of abuse is to misuse someone. Human beings crave structure and stability. Correcting behavior can never be seen as abuse. So if I hit a kid, it's an instant repercussion for their actions and should elicit change behavior. The abuse would come in if I just beat a kid regardless if they do good or bad.

The beating Is so that they learn consequences in a controlled environment rather than learning consequences in the real world where there are lifelong repercussions like jail or death.

I might beat a child for sterling but the police will throw him in jail for stealing where he might not get a job because of a criminal record. Both are disciplinary actions but one has lifelong consequences that can really screw up a person's life.

[Apple1996]

Yeah they'll probably grow up not knowing right from wrong

[chris_987]

They definitely will. But that's what happens when women are in charge of discipline, at least from what I've seen. Men have more of a grasp of how respect should be earn, were as women don't. I think only strong man can teach society what respect is. Can women can teach what love is.

[katiesmuff]

Only if that discipline is totally out of line with what the child is being disciplined for!

[chris_987]

Who makes that determination? I think it should be based on results

[katiesmuff]

If you are a parent and don't know the difference between proper and going over the line with discipline you need to get help from a professional who works with people like that every day.

[chris_987]

It should be based on results. Is there a race you can think of who don't step out of line with their parents?

[katiesmuff]

No I cannot think of one race that doesn't have kids who step out of line from time to time. What does that have to do with results? What you think if you are a muslim kid and you steal a candy bar your parents should chop off your hand!!!

[chris_987]

Well, in Japan, gun violence is at an all-time low and academic scores are pretty high, so you can conclude that they're parenting is better than most. Or at least their culture is.