What is the best way to discipline a child?

Question

In the past, a lot of parents seemed to rely on physical punishment like spanking as the main disciplinary tactic. The idea was that it would teach kids right from wrong and keep them in line. But these days, a lot of people are moving away from that and trying other methods.

Some parents now focus more on taking away privileges, assigning extra chores, or having calm discussions to address bad behavior. The goal is to find disciplinary approaches that get the message across without resorting to physical punishment, since some folks worry that could damage the parent-child relationship.

And a lot of parents also put a big emphasis on positive reinforcement - rewarding and praising good behavior instead of just punishing the bad stuff. That can be a really effective way to encourage the behaviors you want to see more of.

But I'm sure everyone has different experiences and opinions on this. What do you think is the most effective way to discipline kids? Have you seen different approaches used in your own family or with friends' children? What seemed to work best, and what were the pros and cons of various disciplinary tactics?

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I was a single Mom to an infant son, and raised him by myself. I have to add that he has learning disabilities and is a special needs guy.
My first rule that we always keep our hands to ourselves. That meant me a well. So that left us with using our words. Never screaming either.
It turns my stomach when I see anyone physically harming a child in any way, shape or form.
When it came to discipline I just always explained everything to him and what was what and once he understood what the plan was, he was very obedient.
Whenever we spoke to each other I made sure that we always had eye to eye contact.
The things that I would talk to him about I would have him repeat what I said right back to me to make sure he understood what I said.
I think building a good repore with them when they are just babies/a toddler is important for them to know that you are on their side and not their enemy but that they are expected to follow the rules that I implemented.
I think that using a good sense of humor in the mix builds a good repore as well. Ya gotta joke around with your children as well.
Respecting their privacy goes a long way as they get older. Leave their stuff alone and don't be snooping about in their bedroom either.
One thing that I always remembered is that children didn't ask to be born. So they aren't your slave.
You brought them into the world, it wasn't their choice. So treat them properly.
I also raised my son by faithfully taking him to church with me and learning about God and Jesus Christ.

Simslover92 · Accepted Answer

Taking away toys. Giving them a time out. Talking to them. Spanking them is just wrong imho. I wish my mom never did that to me because I was a good kid overall that just made a few wrong choices. If she just sat down and talked to me about what I did wrong vs beating the crap out of me with a belt, I think I still would have gotten the message not to do it again.

contentious · Accepted Answer

Technically by being proactive. If you set the right example and lead by showcasing positive behavior, hold them to the right standards for success, and teach them the right way to do things, then you don't have to correct them all that often. The problem is most parents are fuck ups and that rubs off on their children. The children mimic the behavior of their bad leadership, and then they get beat for mimicking what they saw. Then they become rebellious of their parents that say but don't do what they say because there is an inherent level of unfairness.

strateguy632 · Accepted Answer

Depends on age. If i spank a 2 year old he won't understand what he did wrong. If he is old enough to explain then... explain. If younger age, then won't understand.

Punishment is like "no television, no cellphone no credit card no allowances money". Taking away a toddlers toys while saying what they did wrong.

In series "man with a plan" dad switched off the WIFI that is punishment!

MemeSupreme · Answer

i really am not sure

i have a very dysfunctional family and was abused, so i am clueless. ik there has to be some sort of balance, altho i think it probably depends on the kid and figuring out how they best respond to stuff

so it takes some experimenting

bddddd · Answer

Honestly the only time I disciplined a child was when my daughter slammed the shower door on my son's head when she was like 3 years old. Maybe I have been lucky. But my impression is that children that grow up in a safe and supportive environment rarely need disciplining.

Ariesman81 · Answer

I think it changes with age. Explaining behavior to a toddler is futile. Spanking an adult is, well, fun, but fruitless.

Ultimately, the consequences are what teach the lesson. I can preach and preach and preach, but the FA&FO is still the teacher.

NathanDavis · Answer

all kids are different...  so the best way to go about it is to really KNOW your kid and to actually RAISE it yourself...

ABC1x1x · Answer

Every kid is different. Some respond to beatings, some positive reinforcement, some negative. You just got to understand your kids.. and if you do, you really won't have to discipline them.

exitseven · Answer

I never hit my kids but i used to take stuff away from them or make them miss some activity that they were looking forward to.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Spankings and teaching them daily. By age 6 the child will never need to be spanked again.

Dongie · Answer

Nothing says lovin' like a switch across that ass.

Anonymous · Answer

to give a beating when necessary

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