How do you cope knowing your family hate you?

[Puppystarfish23]

I'm not looking for pitty or to bad mouth my family I'm sure they have there reasons.

I've always been the least favourite in my entire family mainly because I'm the youngest. I've always been talked over and ignored so therefore I tried to be the loudest. Even making myself the punch line to all the family jokes. I'm too fat, I'm too small, im too dumb etc. I knew no matter how how hard I'd try my family would never take notice.

I remember my two older sisters getting there periods was a big deal and they had all the sympathy in the world off my parents. Yet when it came to me no one cared and I just got told to get over it and it's apart of being a woman.

I remember my oldest sister having to be the one to teach me how to shave and use deodorant because I think my parents just forget to bother with me.

I have the least baby photos of me and most of them are just me in my track suite whilst my sisters had pretty dresses on in all their photos and lots of fuss from family members.

When my GCSEs came around I failed everything which was expected as I struggle really badly with dyslexia but my parents didn't even ask what I got. I cried a little and was just told like always "to get over it".

When I first got with my boyfriend he noticed I had I barely knew anything about banking or what a isa was my parents set bouth my sisters up when they were 18 and always promised they'd do mine too but in the end I got fed up of waiting at 21 and did it myself with my now husband.

My husband has noticed I just get ignored by my family, they never pick up the phone and ignore my text messages.

Before my wedding I had abit of a mental meltdown mainly because of these issues of always being put on the back burner for everyone's else sake. My oldest sister didn't help matters and I think she enjoyed playing miss moral high ground because she didn't like but her stupid, fat little sister was getting married before her.

Updates

1 y

saw the text messages my mother and sisters said about me today whilst helping my phone with stuff on her phone. Calling Mr "turly horrid" and saying I have mental health issues yet whenever I try and talk to them about my mental health they gas light me and say I'm just attention seeking and that I'm too lazy to have ADHD and I can't have social anxiety because I don't shut up

Updates

1 y

Even today my mum sent through my wedding photos to my family group chat but everyone ignored them for my cousins holiday photos

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn girl, that really sucks what you've gone through with your fam. No wonder it messed with your self-esteem so much over the years.

Don't let them convince you that any of that was your fault, or that you're somehow defective. THEY'RE the ones with the problem for not appreciating you.

Seems like you need to accept they may never change, but that doesn't mean you have to keep subjecting yourself to their abuse either. A few thoughts:

- Consider setting clear boundaries - don't put up with nasty texts/calls. Hang up/don't reply if they're toxic.

- Spend less time around family if being there just brings you down. YOU come first now.

- Strengthen the relationships you DO have control over, like your husband, close friends. Build your chosen fam.

- Be extra kind to yourself - do things that boost your confidence without them. Show yourself the love they lacked.

Remember who you are - YOU deserve so much better. Don't let anyone make you feel small ever again, 'kay boo? Keep shinin' bright!

[Agape93]

I take it as an point of pride because it means I'm nothing like them

[Maybeyoutoo]

Why would my family hate me, man?