Why can't I have smart funny friends?

[Anonymous]

I'm not saying I'm the smartest person in the world I'd consider myself probably a little below average. Especially considering my spelling, grammar and writing.

And I love to goof around runn around like a dinosaur make a pillow fort or make a dirty joke or two. But I also like things that require you to have a brain

For instance I like to make soap ware you work with chemicals Like sodium hydroxide and need to be careful.

Or I cook and bake and I'll say something about gluten what it is how it works or what is happening with the leavening agent that causes that reaction.

I made a comment without thinking yesterday when my roommate was making an egg and it was sticking to the pan and I just rambled off you could use oil to create a barrier from the pan and the egg cuz the oil has hydrophobic Which would repel the water of the egg but the proteins will still stick to the bottom so you'd have a better result using butter which contain both hydrophilic and hydrophobic molecules reducing the risk of sticking.

They just looked at me like WTF was that random shit that just rolled off your tongue because it wasn't English.

So I rolled my eyes and said use butter the egg won't stick because it won't let it touch the pan.

Or I have had to say don't use metal in a pan with a Teflon coating you'll scrape it off then had to explain what Teflon is.

Or that AC units have filters.

For fuck sake the people I know don't even know what to do when there sick I have to stick medicine out for them and they don't even question what I'm giving them they just take whatever I hand them.

Or I'll say something about a animal like you need to trim a goat's hooves and people look at me like I grew a second head

And I'm being too realize the people in my life aren't just playing around and being silly there brain is permanently like that all they have is jokes but nothing with any real substance

I don't understand why?

[Anonymous]

The titles enough for me, you seem to have 0 friends, because you’re disgusting and I’m sure real friends don’t ask these things lol. people generally orbit similar people, maybe you’re placing yourself into a category you don’t belong.

[Asker]

I do have friends and don't get it twisted I'm not cruel to my friends I'm the first one called when something goes wrong because they know I will be there rather it's just because you don't want to be alone or because you're house burned down I will be there to help you figure it out I will cancel anything if I think you need me but I also know that while my friends are funny academics isn't there strong suit. My friend thought Mexico was in Asia.

And I'm frustrated because they don't understand a lot of the things I talk about that's not saying they don't have other great traits. For instance one of them is a damn good at drawing. And the other is a good shot with a gun.

But one of my friends Is really innocent and easily deceived and I worry about her I can't protect her every minute of the day but she doesn't pay attention and would be extremely easy to drug for fuck sake her X friend convinced her to drain her savings account and give it to her while also having her pay for the moving van which she informed her that her half would be 600 Dollars. She got screwed a moving Van to ware they were going would have been 50 bucks total.
Also had a friend who let one of her friends just beat her and said nothing to anyone to the point that if I lift my hand to touch my hair she flinches because she thought I was going to hit her for a smart ass comment.
I worry because I care I don't want people taking advantage of them.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Doesn't sound like your friends when you're talking about them like that though...

[Asker]

That's not true I do love my friends I just don't get why they don't try to learn anything I do my best to take care of them if something is wrong I'm always the first person to show up.

My friends lizard died and before she finished the sentence I was in the car on my way to her house with her favorite ice cream chicken nuggets and specifically McDonald's Sprite. Canceled every plan I had for the day to be with her so she wasn't alone because I knew she has issues with depression and likes to have people nearby when she is sad. ( I'm a very active person I had a laundry list for tasks like building a chicken coop)

I'm the person who is first called when shit Hits the fan because I will make sure it gets taken care of.

I might be a gremlin and a Peace of shit but I'm the one who's there when you need me.

Just because i think they need some more education and that the school system and their parents failed them doesn't mean that I don't love them. I would break the bones of anyone who dared to hurt them.

But some of my friends also thought Mexico was in Asia I love my friends and I would give them a kidney if they needed it but the blade is a little dull and it wouldn't hurt to run it over a wet stone to sharpen the edge.

You can have a great solid knife but it still needs to be sharpened doesn't make a bad or worthless knife just that It needs a little TLC.

I speak the way I do because I am frustrated I want to be a able to talk with them about more than just a silly show it's nice and all but I feel like I need substance from time to time something to challenge the mind want them to have a hypothesis about something and maybe a mild debates. .

[Asker]

But I also know I can't get that from them I used to get the challenge from my cousin but he doesn't care about being my academic rival anymore just his Next drug hit.

And it's frustrating because yah my friends will let me ramble about some random science or history shit but they also don't understand what I'm saying and it's frustrating

Card's against humanity is fun but what's wrong with a game of trivia pursuit.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Running around like a dinosaur? 😂

[Asker]

It's fun try it Just squawk like a velociraptor bend your knees and run on your toes with 2 hook like finger's and bob your head

[ChicoFromThe305]

That is a strange way of entertainment lol

[Asker]

It's something I have done since I was a kid after watching Jurassic Park anyone who spends time around me eventually mimics the behavior along with bleating like a goat as a greeting or a I acknowledge your existence and appreciate your presence even though I have nothing to say right now.

I still get in trouble for that because they fuck up and make goat noises at their boss or a delivery guy or something and that's some how my fault.

I don't give a fuck though I'll bleat at anyone I have lagit made a goat noise at my regional manager when he left that day dude looked me dead and the eyes and gave me his best goat noise.
Even though I don't work at that store anymore whenever he sees me he waves makes a goat noise and says something about the company missing me.

I just find it funny that he adapted to my greeting or frankly that people do it at all it's just something I do I never said other people needed to do it as well