Why do all my friends think I'm dumb?

[Anonymous]

Many of my close friends have said I am not smart. I also think I'm not smart but it still hurts my feelings that none of the people I am close with think highly of me. I think that my friends are smart. I’m just really not sure what to do and I am confused as to why multiple people think the same thing about me. I have even had coworkers poke fun about my intelligence openly and laugh. I have even went out and asked people that I would say I’m close with and they all would say I’m not smart. I am not sure what it is about me that makes people think I'm dumb. What is it about someone that makes other people think they are intelligent especially if they know you?

[MementoMori777]

Vocabulary, comprehension levels, the expression and use of words, stuff like that so if you are for example struggling to comprehend a lot of things people speak to you about then they will assume you aren't very bright and tbh why have friends that belittle you about something in general, clearly your level of maturity is completely different than theirs, if they even have maturity in general.

[Count_de_Monte_Volo]

Can you give us some examples of something you did or said that made them say that?

[Asker]

I mean I would say I’m too nice and I think that could be a reason why people are comfortable enough being rude to me. I am also not attractive so I feel like people automatically assume they have leverage over me especially women. I also like to make jokes a lot and people usually always laugh. I always make jokes that do not involve making fun of other people. People will start making jokes about me like I would say things that are not funny and they would snicker or say something sarcastic. I have never been rude to anything of them and have always treated them with respect.

[Count_de_Monte_Volo]

My theory is this: I think some primal instinctual influence is going on here. You sound nice and gentle, which is nice in our minds, but our “lizard brain” says that is a weakness (threat to the survival of the species) on a caveman level and therefore should be shunned and shamed until you get either tougher or leave. They don’t know why they’re doing it. This is the science of bullying in my opinion after decades of dwelling on it and studying it (unofficially).

As to the solution, find friends with higher emotional intelligence, or more intelligence in general. These people don’t sound like friends.

[Asker]

Thanks, honestly I have already cut off one friend and it was tough since she was honestly my only friend at the time but she was extremely mean to me and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I think I have to cut off others too since its seems like they are not genuinely my friend.

[Count_de_Monte_Volo]

What “kind” of people are they and what kind of person are you? Jocks, cool kids, nerds, etc.

[Asker]

They’re overly confident people. I would say kinda self centered, a little narcissistic I would say. When I would first meet them they would be super nice and friendly and then once I get to know them a lot more they become more rude and tend to go off on me for any little inconvenience. I’m more reserved, I don’t get out much and I don’t have many friends either that I hang out with.

[Anonymous]

These folks are not your true friends

[Asker]

I just don’t understand what Im doing wrong anymore, i feel like they are only friends with me because they think they are better than me.

[Opinion Owner]

Cut them off

[TheFlak38]

Why do you think you're dumb?

[Asker]

I feel like I am dumb because friends have always said it to me in arguments or in conversations. I also have very low self esteem so I don’t think I’m good at anything and sometimes I can be too self aware. I was also bullied a lot through school particularly high school.

[TheFlak38]

Ι don't think you're dumb. Everybody is good at something. Unless you're sitting in some dark room like a pet, relying on others for your survival.

[Anonymous]

You need better friends.