Do you celebrate a deceased love one’s birthday or do you just go on with your day?

[Finchie40]

Today is My mom’s birthday and she would be 77 years old , I lost my Mom last year so today is kind of hard for me, and last night was hard as well , when I was talking with my brother over the phone talking about our Mom. My brother and I drank our faces off last night and got pretty drunk , now I am hungover and still feeling sad , but trying to keep my head up as much as possible. Debating if I should celebrate again. Do you celebrate a deceased loved one’s birthday?

[WindAtMyBack]

My mother was also 77 when she died. I think I was about 46 at the time. I don't celebrate their birthdays. Most times I don't even remember it's their birthday. But then I never celebrated birthdays anyway.

I think about them often, but not on any special occasion. It's just random.

My father had a major stroke on Thanksgiving weekend, and died five weeks later on New Year's Day. It doesn't ruin the holidays or anything. I don't usually even think of them on those days. It's just random.

There are other things that trigger memories. For example when I watch a YouTube video of old Big Band music I think of my father. He loved that old music. He died just before YouTube came out. I always think how much he would love clicking around on YouTube, listening to old music he hadn't heard in years. He loved music, but didn't quite live long enough to experience having soooo much music available at just a click. It might sound weird, but YouTube music is probably the biggest trigger for me.

Holidays and birthdays don't bother me at all. It's usually things that I'd just like to share with them, something I know they'd like. When I say "they" that includes quite a few people who were important to me, but are no longer around. Each person was different, and my relationship with them was different. So it's different things that trigger memories and cause me to miss them.

[BCRanger10]

Happy birthday to her. And I'm sorry for your loss. May she rest in eternal peace 🙏🤗

At any rate, no. I might say some special prayers for them though, or commemorate them in some other way. Though that's also usually on the date of their death. And I'll day this, every time I visit my grandfather's grave site (which I've not been to for some time... but will soon), I break down. Time heals a lot of things, but you always remember the pain of the loss 😢

[VIVANT]

Finchie, I’m so sorry.

I think criterion loved ones can take many forms and it should be something that helps you uplift their memory and in turn makes you feel uplifted.

i spent force yourself to go through the motions at a bleak time, it sounds like you and your brother did tribute last night.. being hung over probably isn’t how you want to remember her.

I think id hold last night as a temporary fill in and schedule a celebration when you have the right time and energy and then you celebrate your mom with gusto.

Maybe planning a nice day in honor of her like something you really love that you can share with her and your memory.

just don’t beat yourself up over celebrating it is for strength not for pain... Be kind to yourself in grief, you’re the only seing you have. 🤗

I wish you all the best and healing. ❤️‍🩹 💚

[Finchie40]

Thank you for the kind words , it really means a lot ❤️ I am hanging in there best I can and just going to enjoy the day as much as I can. I know my Mom wouldn’t want me sitting around pouting over her, I can hear her now telling me not to 😋

[VIVANT]

😂 yeah moms don’t like moping

(by the way that’s celebrating up top, not criterion)

I think have a strong resilient spirit to pick yourself up like that feeling so low… you have yourself a lovely Saturday keep your mom with you while you do… staying close and relenting people fondly I believe that’s the best way to honor them on personal level. Bonus when fresh air natural elements are involved.

It’s a breezy sunny day over here… when the wind blows my way and trees rustle and whisper, I will be thinking of you and your mom, ✨ 💚

[Finchie40]

Thank you again for the smiles , 😋 She is with me for sure 😋 You have a great Saturday as well and enjoy the weather , it’s rainy over here but I am mainly staying in and doing some cleaning , and then I am going to relax and unwind 😋

[ariadneR]

I feel for you 💔 😔

My mum passed away black Friday 2022, so this May was our second without her. I miss her every fucking day, and I feel like I have Noone that understands me properly ya know?

But to answer your question, last year we bought a Jasmine plant, and planted it in the garden and then bought a Jasmine plant for each of her kids. So me, and my 2 younger brothers. It's a Jasmine plant, cause that was her name.

This year my brothers and I got together and mad3 one of her favourite dishes.

So yeah... we do celebrate it

[nolabels]

I'm sorry for your loss.

My mom passed last year at the age of 98.
My dad passed at 42 in 1970 when I was 11 years old.

I celebrate their birthdays, as well as the birthdays of other deceased loved ones, in a quiet manner, in my own thoughts.

I don't blame you for tying one on with your brother.

I hope that you feel better soon.

[Fireguy17]

I visit their grave sites on birthdays, holidays, plant flowers for Mother's Day, decorate for Christmas, and just stop in to say thank you for everything and to say I miss them and love them.
I was lucky, I had very good parents.
They were not perfect, but they taught me what is important in life.
I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for them.

[Apple1996]

A little celebration is fine if you want. In my family my sister that passed her birthday is 2 days off from mine so it was always a mix of celebrating both her and my birthday together

[Bkay123]

Celebrate it man. It’s your mother. Share and cherish those memories. Both you and your brother. She would love that.

[Mwolf]

Personally I might think about them or see it on my calendar, but other than that I just do me. Go about my day as normal.

[Staximus]

My mom died 27 years ago and my dad 6 years ago. My brother and I usually do a simple toast like "happy birthday, mom" or "happy birthday, pops" and drink a shot on their birthdays.

[FunkyMonkee]

If I remember the date, I'll just say happy birthday to them out loud. Dad would've been 100 about 2 weeks ago. Mom would've been 90 in just over 5 weeks.

[Nikki1989]

Not so much celebrate, but I have a few people I think about each year.

[Anonymous]

Every year when I start a new calendar, I put their birthdays on the calendar, but I don't celebrate them. It's just kind of my one note of remembrance.

[NamerOfStars]

I do- but I try to make it something positive; something that they would've approved of. More satisfying than just morose wallowing in drunken self-pity (though I'd be lying if I said I don't do that sometimes, too), AND more fun.

[V_QQ_V]

I acknowledge it. Maybe buy flowers for the table, or I'll have their favourite cereal for breakfast that day. But it's not a big thing, just something I do for myself.

[LiamJHayden]

I remember but do not make a production of it.

[exitseven]

I think more about them on the anniversary of their death.

[Finchie40]

Yea unfortunately that’s coming up as well next month

[exitseven]

Yes octo ber for my father and November for my best friend

[Cheerfull009]

We don't celebrate Birthday of our decreased but we celebrate Death Anniversary yearly

[DrPepper12]

Celebrate? No. Recall fondly and get together with those who knew the person best, we do that occasionally.

[JesseP1nk]

I dont "celebrate" it. What i do is i visit the cementary and light a candle on my dads grave.