My Brothers Fiance wants me to apologise for something I didn't do. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

My brother sent me a text saying that his fiance was trying to text me but couldn't. I looked and there was no problem. I told my brother to get her to try again. No problem.

A few days later my brother was home and said that I blocked her. I told him I didn't and he wouldn't listen. He took her side.

I sent her a text saying sorry for all the trouble over the last week. That I didn't want any awkwardness between us and could we move on. She ignored that text for a few days.

She then replied that I did block her and she wouldn't2 listen to me. That she wouldn't move on and that's all she had to say about it.

We have her hen party happening in the next few weeks and an anniversary for one of my uncles. I feel she will talk about it infront of the family and cause trouble.

We also have a big birthday for my brother next year and their wedding. I feel ghat she will say i can't go and if i do she will cause trouble

[Caroline91]

I'm sorry to hear about the problem you're having. I am very close to my big brother and understand how upsetting this could be. One thing I figured out a long time ago is that, generally, the woman a guy is sleeping with is going to win the argument, right or wrong. It sounds like you are bending over backwards to try to make things better. I would suggest you sit down privately with your brother and tell him that you can't figure out what you've done wrong and that you would like his help to get things straightened out; because this woman is going to be his wife and you want to be on good terms with her. Then, swallow your pride and do what he suggests. If this is the way she is, eventually he will likely see it. Even then, don't expect him to take your side.

My brother actually has had private conversations with his wife twice about how he expects her to treat his little sister. But, believe me, if I hadn't have quietly put up with a lot of ridiculous behavior on her part for years, that would never have happened. He has actually acknowledged how much he appreciates that I will not engage in fighting or bickering with his wife. I love my brother, so I have always given his wife respect simply because she is the woman he chose and HE is very happy being married to her. I love that she makes my big bro happy.

And the upshot? I figured out what she needed awhile back and started making sure she got it from me and we have finally become friends. I, however, will never broach what happened in the past with her and consider it a fresh start. Now everyone is happy, me included. And, I have been able to maintain a relationship with my brother all along.

I know a lot of people are likely not to agree with this. But, sometimes choosing peace over being right is a valid choice. The entire family could be split over this and that's the last thing I want to have happen. I hope you are able to come up with a solution that works for you.

[avery58]

Yep, looks like she's gonna be that kind of in law... And your brother is also being petty. Gosh I hate it when people get married and act like their spouse is the only thing that matters and like they don't need their family members anymore.

I'd suggest to just act like nothing happened and if she continues her hissy fit just excuse yourself and leave, you don't have to tolerate a hostile attitude from anyone. Even if you had actually blocked her, there's no reason for her to still be making a whole drama about it.

[melnc]

Your brother's response to this situation is unfair, and it’s likely that anything she says will be taken seriously. She might even claim you’re trying to ruin her wedding. The best thing to do is to avoid any confrontation and act as if nothing happened. Show her kindness and support, as this can help maintain a positive vibe. Once the events are over, you can address any concerns you have. For now, focus solely on the bride and groom.

[ManInChains]

Don't apologize for anything because if you do that would be an admittance of guilt. I should know I ended up apologizing once for doing nothing seeing and ended up with an ex parte ppo 🤷🏻‍♂️

[ManInChains]

For doing nothing wrong *

[Anonymous]

I have a feeling there’s more to this than what you’re sharing. Not necessarily about the situation but your relationship and history with her.

[LiamJHayden]

You apologized for the trouble and she didn't accept it. It is on her.