Do I apologise?

[Anonymous]

So I've not spoke to my ex since our argument on Sunday, he suffers with ocd and it was related to something I accidently did that triggered him. Anyway he screamed at me in the doorway as I was showering and I kindly asked him to stop and please leave me alone.
I felt this was an explosive reaction and I was trying to create a boundary so I could later talk to him.
Anyway, I partly take the blame, but I also don't think it's ok to scream at someone stood in the doorway when I had no idea i would set him off
(He never once explained what triggers or sets him off. Never once explained this in depth or even discussed it).
I wasn't going to message him, but I feel it is only right to apologise for causing him unknown distress.
I don't have anything else to say to him, but I personally think he also needs to take some accountability for his response. Ok he was distressed but it doesn't make it ok to scream at someone who's stood naked showering.

[Anonymous]

The only one who should be saying sorry is him in this case, not you. He didn’t have to blow up over something you had no idea would trigger him. He needs to take accountability, and apologizing when you know you aren’t wrong isn’t helpful. He shouldn’t have it instilled in him that people need to apologize to him for his outbursts.

[Asker]

Yeah hmm. I kinda thought that at first but I've posted about this before and some people with ocd have said that I should be more understanding and compassionate. I do agree I should've realised the affect it had afterwards, albeit I didn't know prior to the incident taking place.
I've him, I don't want to hurt or harm him in anyway, I was just showering as I normally would and didn't think, I didn't realise and I certainly didn't mean to do anything.
He hasn't messaged me either and I doubt he ever will. I don't think he actually realises how scary his reaction was. I've never seen him angry at me like that. Like his face changed and I just felt sick.
If I feel this way about it, how isn't he feeling any way about it?
It was bad, like the whole argument was angry. It just makes me feel so hurt. And to throw our relationship away over it- I would be willing to help and understand if he is ok apologising and actually taking it seriously to help me to learn about it so it never happens again

[Opinion Owner]

Honestly I doubt it’s a relationship ending situation. The thing is he is standing his ground, because if he’s used to you coming back and/or saying sorry first when something goes wrong, then he’s just waiting for you to do that. To me, that’s super unhealthy because just as you have so much consideration for him, he should have the same towards you. The people saying you should be more understanding and compassionate just encourage a very unhealthy pattern of you enabling his behavior. Setting a boundary and asking him not to shout is NOT wrong or lacking compassion.

[Brando10222]

Apologise for your part