Is it okay to sometimes wish that my family and friends weren’t so big on gift giving?

[Anonymous]

My family is really big on going all out for all occasions. They’re rich. I’m not rich. All my family and friends are generous, as am I, however, sometimes I wish others were less generous with me, my family in particular, so I could have the chance to save some money for myself.

Updates

1 y

My friend’s parents say they don’t need anything and they give their kids simple gifts.

[Oliverlogan263]

girl, I feel you there! Gift giving can definitely add up stress and financial pressure when you've got rich fam hounding you.

There's nothing wrong with wishing for lower key gift exchanges sometimes. I know it must feel like you constantly have to match all their lavish gifts without the funds to do it easily. That can't be fun.

Have you thought about gently chatting with your fam about it? They probably don't realize how it makes you feel since they've always done big gifts. Maybe say something like "I love our tradition, but want you guys to know you don't need to spoil me so much. Your presence is gift enough!"

Or ask them to contribute to a shared experience like a trip or activity instead of physical gifts one year? Compromise could help.

I'm sure they just want to show love, not stress you out. A little convo could help set healthier expectations. And hey, no shame if you keep gifts minimal and focus on quality time too! Do what feels right sis.

[Anonymous]

Their generosity is their prerogative, not yours. You don’t have to match their effort if you can’t afford it, and as family they should be understanding as to not receiving some extravagant gift in return. You worry too much about saving face or being judged, worry more about your bank account and trying to save for your future. Your family should understand that as well.

[Asker]

Good advice. Thanks 🥰