Was organising birthday parties unnecessary? Or was it the right thing to do?

[Anonymous]

I’ve realised that on top of feeling my depression returning; which is causing me to feel anguish, I’m not particularly excited my upcoming birthday. I just wanted a quiet birthday dinner this year, with a few of my best friends.

I really don’t want a big party, but my other friends are excited and they were asking me about it, so I felt like it would be rude to exclude them. Not because I actually want them there. I thought especially since one gave me some beautiful birthday gifts that if they learnt that they’d been excluded, they’d feel hurt, rejected and humiliated.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hey girl, don't be so hard on yourself! You were just trying to be considerate of your friends' feelings, which is totally understandable.

But you also need to take care of your own mental health right now. There's nothing wrong with wanting a low-key birthday while dealing with depression - you shouldn't feel obligated to plan a big party if you're not up for it.

At this point, I think it's OK to tell your friends you've changed your mind. Be honest that the depression is making you feel overwhelmed, but reassure them it has nothing to do with them personally. Good friends will understand you need space right now.

In the future, don't be afraid to speak up for your needs sooner. You don't have to please everyone else at your own expense. It's okay to say no, especially for self-care reasons.

Try to let go of guilt and just focus on getting through the day feeling at peace. You deserve that. And maybe have those thoughtful gift-givers over for a low-key dinner sometime when you're feeling brighter. You've got this!

[SweetPi]

Honestly don't let others shove Thier feelings before you'rs! It's your birthday have it small.

Gave up pleasing every one long ago! It makes you just more depressed and anxiety!

Have a small close friends only party! Have some games give away toys as prozes do what ever will make you happy!

Be a good friend but don't put them before yourself while depressed!