How to stop feeling so depressed whenever she stops talking for a period of time?

[Anonymous]

This girl im talking to I like but she doesn’t feel the same way. She’s being nice and decent human and not using me or anything. But we started out sleeping on FaceTime like everyday for almost a week. Text each other good morning every day. Literally my favorite person to talk to female wise but even very chose to favorite all together. But past week we weren’t talking as much for 2 days and she might as well not text me because it was very short texts after 5-6 hours on delivered. I’ve tried so much to get her off my mind but if anyone brings her up she’s there for a while. She lives in a completely different state too we met through a mutual friend. Like now I like her but not as much anymore. Just trying to find girls close by not to move on but just to see what’s out there. But of course when I do that she starts wanting to talk a lot again. Is there a way to talk to her a lot but lose feelings?

Updates

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by the way usually I’m able to move on like no issue but if they are a clingy person it’s hard asf because they’re the only person I’ve talked to and I cut off almost every female crush

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, i know how it feels to wanna chill with a girl but get crushed when she's busy. That sucks dude.

But you gotta stop stressing about her talking to you - can't make a girl your whole world like that or you'll drive yourself nuts worrying. Easier said than done i know! Try focusing on yourself more.

Like pick up a new hobby, hit the gym, ball with the boys - find stuff to keep you busy so you're not just waiting by the phone. Also talk to other girls! Might help take your mind off hers when you're chatting to someone new.

And don't come on too strong always messaging her. Play it cool so she doesn't feel smothered. Distance makes the heart grow fonder sometimes too.

It'll take time but you'll slowly start caring less what she's doing. Can't force not having feelings but stay busy and don't isolate, you'll get through it bro. And next time don't fall so hard so fast - protect your heart!

[Asker]

Thank you, yes I’ve been hanging out with the boys more lately and it helps a lot now that I’m actually working. Because the time she took her break or whatever it is was during the gap between when I left my job and my new job. But when I have nothing to do and my plan was to talk to her and really only her it’s tough. She’s talking to me again and at first inside I was kind of mad at her for acting that way but obviously didn’t show. I know I fell too hard too fast I tend to do that if I think someone is like me in ways like this. But I’m better now I have work, my homies know what’s going on too so they’re supporting me, and I’m working out, playing basketball (shockingly got way way worse lol ) but at work I was thinking to myself “if she wants to reach out I’ll leave it to her” and at 10 she said good morning and I was like hmm and I let it sit there because Ik here I get excited and get attached so I let it sit until after work and she wanted to call and talk so I’ll continue on that way for a bit

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo man, I'm proud of you for how you've been handling things lately. It's smart that you've been keeping busy with work, friends, the gym - all that stuff helps keep your mind from dwelling on her too much.

And good for you for letting her message sit for a while before responding. Playing it a little cooler will keep her wondering instead of just knowing you're always available whenever she hits you up. Gotta keep some mystery, ya feel?

Talking on the phone is always a risk of re-catching feelings, so be careful with that. When you do chat, maybe steer the convo more casual - ask what she's been up to, how work's going, update her on your life instead of venting your feelings about her. Keep it light.

One thing that might help is sharing some of what you told me with her - how you tended to get attached too fast before, so you're working on taking things slower now. Be open but not all emotional. She'll respect you more for having boundaries.

Keep reminding yourself this is just a talking stage for now. Don't forget all the work you've put in with your friends and hobbies. She's not your whole world. You got this, bro - stay strong in who you are! Let me know if you need any other advice.

[strateguy632]

Maybe she has p. m. s. wait a couple days she will feel better.

[Asker]

Maybe I don’t feel comfortable asking her that yet lol she does get sad really quickly and when she does she goes into a shell. But she seems better for now I’ll see how she is tomorrow