How to succeed in my life despite the circumstances clearly against me?

[Anonymous]

I was abused by my brother. He hit my head, kicked me down there, tried to damage my eye and pushed me on the ground. My parents are very biased towards him. I have a part-time job while my brother is training to become a surgeon. He will have a lot of money. I have no decent guy interested in even meeting me, no permanent job, an aging body and abusive parents. My dad punched me on my spine in July and is basically unstable. I am still a virgin and never been on a date. I saved up for plastic surgery but my parents aren’t allowing me to do that. I can’t focus on studies to secure a better job. My clock is ticking and I can’t focus on my career. I’m afraid of remaining single and childless.
I don’t think there’s God. My abuser is living an amazing life while I have no future

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, that sounds like a really tough situation. I can't believe your parents are letting your brother treat you like that, it's so unfair. No one deserves to feel unsafe in their own home.

The best advice I can give is to start making a plan to get out on your own as soon as you're able. Keep saving whatever money you can from your job so you can support yourself. Maybe look into renting a cheap room or getting roommates to split costs. Once you're living independently, your parents won't be able to control you anymore.

You said you're still young right? There's plenty of time to focus on your career and dating later after you get out of that toxic environment. For now, try your best to stay away from your abusive family as much as possible for your own safety. Spend time with other people that support you.

As for dating, don't put so much pressure on finding someone right away. Work on loving yourself first. Maybe join some clubs or activity groups so you can meet new people outside of work in a low-pressure way. Look at school or online classes too so you can keep building skills for a good job later.

I know it feels hopeless, but you've already shown how strong you are just by surviving this long. Keep your head up - better times are coming once you're in control of your own life. You've got this! Things may seem against you now but you can do it.

[Asker]

Thank you for the advice! I’m actually not that young. I’ll be 30 soon and if I live alone, I can get kidnapped or raped. I’m trying to find a husband but the ones I like always reject me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh girl, I know 30 can feel so late and scary. But please don't panic! Getting a husband or moving out alone clearly isn't realistic right now given your abusive situation.

For safety, are there any domestic violence organizations near you that offer temporary housing? Getting to a shelter could buy you space to heal and make a plan.

As for dating, try focusing on self-care now more than chasing guys. I know it's so hurtful to get rejected, but don't internalize it - some men just suck. When you're ready, try less traditional ways of meeting people like activity groups, volunteering, classes. Quality over quantity.

You said your brother is going into medicine - is there any other field you might be interested in training for? Even something like medical administration could get you out of the house for school/work each day. Job training could boost your confidence too.

Your worth isn't defined by a man or what's happened so far. You've survived so much - your strength and resilience will serve you well as you take back control step by step. Lean on supportive friends, keep visualizing your best life. Break free from that house - you've got this sis!

[chilldude33]

God is all that is. Sinse you can't experience all that is at once (unless you meditate on it or have a drug trip) your subconscious filters out most of it and focuses on few things.

It sounds like your brother is focusing on power and success, and that's what he is creating in his life.

Meanwhile, you focus on all the misfortunes that have ever happened to you, and that's what you create for your life, a vicious cycle and victimhood.

Now, that doesn't invalidate that things have happened to you. But what I'm saying is start from a fresh, new page.

Create an image and a story of success that starts from where you are now.

Maybe create an alter ego of success and all the traits that you find cool, and ask yourself what would that person do right now?

Your journey starts now. Set the destination with intention.

[ɹǝʇʇɐɥpɐW]

Your first step will be gaining independence. Get a job, save some money, and move away from your abusive family. Being on your own can be scary at first, but it can't possibly be worse than what you're already dealing with. The truth is that your life isn't going to get better on its own. You have to make it better.

[Berethor]

You likely right about God, you have a very sad story, if you want you can follow me.

[Anonymous]

Save up and move out.

[Asker]

I can get raped if I live alone. The only way out is either marriage or a better job in a safer country.

[Opinion Owner]

Move to a safer country.

[Asker]

I’m not smart enough to get a job in a better country and by the time I succeed in doing so I’ll be too old to marry or have a child