How do I stop being nice and trusting people who continuously show me they are aholes?

[Howtoloven]

They’re disrespectful condescending nasty critical etc.

[Cripplingkingship]

maybe you need to reflect on your self worth as a person. I think sometimes we just hope people will have change, if we keep being nice to them. I also had do a lot work on mysef as person as well.

I have being your position myself with people, I have just got to the point now, I am not doing it anymore. I now chose not to engage in people BS anymore. I just ignore them.

[Howtoloven]

God bless you. Thank you for sharing and saying that. I like your advice.

[Cripplingkingship]

I suggest you work on these areas of your life, when your self-esteem improve, everything elses improves. I have had work on this myself, so people wouldn't take advantage of me and I wouldn't be doing things just to please others, and staying with the wrong people.

Self-esteem refers to your overall sense of self-worth or value as a person. It’s a more general and stable feeling about yourself, whether you think you are worthy of respect, love, and happiness.

Confidence is the belief in your ability to perform specific tasks or succeed in certain situations. It’s task-oriented and situational, meaning you can be confident in one area (e. g., public speaking) but not in another (e. g., math skills).

Self-esteem refers to your overall sense of self-worth or value as a person. It’s a more general and stable feeling about yourself, whether you think you are worthy of respect, love, and happiness.

[Cripplingkingship]

You don't attract what you want, you attract what you are." This means that the energy, mindset, and behaviors you embody are what you attract in your life. It suggests that if you want positive, healthy, and fulfilling things—whether it's relationships, success, or opportunities—you need to first cultivate those qualities within yourself.

This idea does relate to self-esteem, because how you see and value yourself (self-esteem) influences your thoughts, actions, and the people or situations you draw into your life. For example, if you have low self-esteem, you may unconsciously attract relationships or circumstances that reinforce those negative feelings. Conversely, strong self-esteem helps you attract positive experiences and people who respect and value you because you project confidence and self-worth.

In essence, the saying suggests that your inner state, including self-esteem, shapes what you experience externally.

[Cripplingkingship]

Many people are deeply affected by negative criticism—whether it’s being told, "You’re not good enough," or "You’ll never succeed." These words hurt because, at some level, we already believe them. Our own negative thoughts and self-doubts make us vulnerable to external criticism. When we allow our minds to be filled with self-defeating thoughts, it’s easier for outside opinions to reinforce those beliefs.

There’s a powerful quote that says, "If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do you no harm." This means that if we can discipline ourselves to conquer the negativity within, then no external criticism or feedback can truly harm us. The real battle is not with what others say, but with our own internal dialogue. If we can take control of our thoughts, replacing self-doubt and negativity with confidence and resilience, then criticism from others loses its power.

Being disciplined in mastering our negative thoughts is key to overcoming not just the inner struggle, but also the negative feedback we get from others. It’s not easy, but through consistent effort, we can change the way we think about ourselves. This discipline allows us to handle criticism more constructively, viewing it as an opportunity to grow rather than something that can shake our self-worth.

In the end, overcoming the enemy within—our self-doubt, fear, and negative self-talk—is the key to overcoming everything else in life. When we become disciplined in shaping our thoughts, we take back control. Criticism no longer defines us; instead, our self-confidence and inner strength define how we respond to the world. The path to conquering external challenges starts by mastering the mind and silencing the negative voice within.

[Howtoloven]

I don’t believe in the law of attraction. Thank you for the other advice you gave me. I am starting to realize that i need to be positive. If I’m focusing on why someone insulted me or doesn’t like me, that’s a negative mindset and you can’t go up from there. You will just get dragged into endless excuses and reasons why someone hates you and disrespects you. There’s no reason or excuse for it. The only solution is get away from anyone negative and only keep positive thoughts about myself and keep positive people around.

[Cripplingkingship]

The Law of Attraction emphasizes that your thoughts and desires attract corresponding outcomes into your life, meaning that focusing on what you want will draw it to you. In contrast, the idea that 'You don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are' focuses on personal growth and self-development, suggesting that it’s not merely your desires but the person you become—your mindset, values, and energy—that shapes the experiences and relationships you attract."

[Cripplingkingship]

This is more emphasizes personal growth and the idea that who you are internally (your mindset, values, and energy) affects what you bring into your life, not just what you desire or think about. It’s less about wishful thinking and more about embodying the qualities you seek.

[_Maya_]

Why do you allow yourself to do it in the first place? If people treat you poorly then why would you give them the time of day? That makes no sense to me. I wouldn't go out of my way to be mean or anything like that but I wouldn't be nice either. I would just choose to ignore them. That is just something that is easy to do. Just look the other way and don't bother giving into them. If you do then it just encourages them to keep acting the way that they are. It is much like anything... bullies, etc. You just ignore and they tend to get tired from the lack of attention that feeds their behavior. If no one is listening to them and feeding the attention they crave they tend to stop or move on.

[Starrrboy]

Don't worry, after the 100th time you're gonna get there and not let people walk over you 💪💪😭

[Howtoloven]

Thanks :) it does get easier as time goes on

[Avicenna]

Ignore them as much as possible

[Howtoloven]

Thanks

[In_Trance]

You have to put your foot down

[jahaims]

By using your brain