How do you deal with people who pretend to be nice to you but really can’t stand you?

[Pinay_ako]

Caught people not once but many times talking smack about me but I pretend I don’t know but I just deal with them nicely… I just go on with my life while they rot their tongues wagging about me. But they smile to my face or can’t look at me in the eye. Don’t you just love people like these? 🤣

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

I hate people like these.

If I want to say something to a person, I would say it with them in front of me. No miscommunication. No ill will here. Just what I have observed. You can take what you want from what I have said. Clear from my side.

For people to speak ill will of yours, I believe, they compare themselves with you. I believe. Since you have wayy more experience than I can ever have, all I can do is just believe or theorize, for now.
But from what I have noticed in my college, people do compare with them and then say bad things about the other person.

This is the point where I am different from other people. I do not do competition with anyone, but with myself. I just want to be satisfied with the amount of progress I can do in myself. Don't care about others to be honest. Except my friends and the people I know with good connections between us.

[MrPickles13]

I just move on from them, when crap like that starts. Or when they betray trust or anything I can't stand. I'll be cordial in any interactions but that's it. I don't even say why cause it was their decision not mine that caused it.

This is also why I don't know many people nor do I talk to many.

[MrPickles13]

Thank you for MHO

[nitsuj86]

I think a lot of people will tell you to do something that involves revenge, or treating her badly, etc. I understand that stuff feels good, but it won't really stop them from talking shit about you. Would probably only make it worse.

I think the best thing to do would be to privately approach this problem head-on in person. To show you are not afraid to confront them, and stand up for yourself, while still respecting them and not blasting them in front of a bunch of people, forcing a negative response from them because they are now in defense mode, etc...

Here is what you do. You find the source. Whoever is starting shit. And go up to them alone. Tell them you have something you want to talk about. Lay it all out, what you have been hearing, how you know it's from them, and ask why? Why are you doing this? What have I done? Ask them to stop, I feel like if you were genuine with no malice, in most cases people would maybe let off a bit. But there is always special cases.

If that doesn't work TELL them to stop. It's no longer diplomatic, If that still doesn't work, well you have the father-son talk with yourself in your head. And punch her in the face. Sometimes the only thing people understand is a physical confrontation, and most women think it's not on the table. Show her it is. I guarantee the shit will stop.

Even if you get your ass kicked, they will know what comes with talking shit to you, and it will stop. Don't go overboard, just enough to get the point across. And do it somewhere where there aren't cameras.

[SteveSmith1985]

For me, it's super-duper easy. I'm an honest guy. In a situation like that, I'm one confrontational motherfucker. I would call them out (directly and aggressively). THat way, either you: make her own whatever she said and you two can have-it-out openly. Or you make her shrink away with her tail between her legs if she won't own whatever she said. Regardless, she'll likely watch what she says about you going forward.

I really don't understand how anyone could do anything else. (believe me... I am quite aware that most people wouldn't provoke an outright open conflict... but... to me that's better than a "secret, sly, sneaky conflict". 🙂

[Pinay_ako]

I confront some… but some I keep my distance. They clam up when I confront them. But they never change. Snakes may change skin but they’re always gonna be snakes

[SteveSmith1985]

No no no!! If you stomp on a snake... it'll stay the fuck away from you. If not... STOMP IT AGAIN! Even the dumbest person will learn quickly "it's not worth it" (because they know a-stompin's-a-comin'!!)

[NathanDavis]

this has happened a couple of times, that I found out...

but I didn't consider it a big deal, so I just let them be... with things as they were, whatever they were saying didn't really had an effect on me, people know me better than they could ever lie or talk smack about me

as long as they don't say it to my face, which they rarely or never do... I consider it their problem, not my problem... lol

it says a lot more about them... than it says about me, besides, these were school days so I just brush it off as juvenile stuff

[qwert1234]

I be nice to them. As long as they don't spread false rumors or get me into trouble - if they don't like me and pretend to like me in front of my face, that's on them.
I don't like them but I don't hate them. They are just another human next to me.
I try to be decent and respectful to anyone.

[TrueConfection]

I tend to avoid them as much as possible while still remaining civilized. If I must deal with them, I'm keep it as short as possible and avoid a dialog. Most of the time they do all the talking and agreeing with themselves as if I'm participating. 😂

[TommyMountainFigure]

I am all sweetness and light, until they ask for my help.. Then I bring up every single thing they've said, before responding with something like.. " I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire!" or words to that effect!

[Better_off_here]

as someone who has trust issues, i think that it is hard to pick up on any kind of niceness from anyone. it takes time and for me I guess i try to give someone a chance and i try to see what happens. but i tread lightly too. i am all about giving someone a chance but if they lie and cheat on me i am not a happy person too.

[limsasi]

I overheard someone talking about me on the other side of the wall, so I walked right past her. She tried to speak to me nicely later but I ignored her.

[Spotifyplaylist]

Say it to my face and if you don't well ill make sure on your tombstone it says fakest person of the century. To make sure you know your actions were worth Acknowledgment and that you left a legacy.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Lol this trait i think mostly done by females i have witnessed with my own eyes it's fun to watch 😆

[Pinay_ako]

With popcorn 🍿

[ChiTown33]

I guess it might matter if I cared what MOST people say about me, but I don't. So I'm polite, or just try to be. Not for them, but for me.
If they are really that bad, and I know it. I just wouldn't associate with them.

[Gateway197080_]

Let them KNOW you feel the same way, namely, that you dislike them. I can't pretend on this. If i dislike you, you will KNOW!

[Fuentes]

Same i can't fake lol

[Pinay_ako]

@Fuentes my face says it all 😂 can’t fake being nice

[Fuentes]

Yup and my body language when they come near me, they know lol

[Pinay_ako]

@Fuentes I clam up and will have my back facing them the whole time or I’ll jump into the nearest bush to hide 🙈. That’s how much I don’t want to deal with them but then again, I want to look calm and collected. Can’t let these snakes 🐍 scare me away. Act cool but distant

[Fuentes]

Iet them all know i dont i fuck with them and i walk around like I don't know them and it makes them mad lol but they dont ever say nothing to me or care after awhile they just go on about their day lol but damn i dont avoid i just walk past hahaha

[PhenomenalQueen]

I don’t, anymore… they’re not worth the stress or negativity of keeping them around.

[melanieeeB]

I wil stay politely nice too but don't really interact much or keep active contact you know

[Guy13]

Pretend that I do not know and AMP up
the Graciousness

[DermalPunch]

Hi and bye. Mirror they're fakeness right back to them.

[Pudsmucker]

Just remember what goes around comes around. It'll always bounce back to the people that are assholes.

[Fuentes]

I dont fuck with them and they will know so there will be no reason for them to play fake nice.

[TallAnon]

Depends, do they affect me at all? Just ignore em, you don't care about them regardless.

[Blackcosmo]

I'll just ignore them.

[Blackcosmo]

I've had a best friend for 3 years like that before and we don't talk anymore. She was so toxic and talked behind my back and I just let her walk over me but all I did was ignore it.

[Pinay_ako]

Wow best friends sometimes are the worst enemies

[Blackcosmo]

They really can be