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There have been moments where I questioned if my father loved me because of the way he would avoid me following the news of me somehow not meeting his expectations.
I've always felt and known my father's love towards me was conditional and at times transactional. He would be capable of disowning me if I were to really betray him. Translated from Spanish to English, he would say express how he's drooling over for me but to be a straight-arrow to him and be an obedient child.
Not bad but that's not the type of love I have towards my son. I love my son without conditions. I don't expect anything in return from him. Expecting honesty and loyalty are still conditions.
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Both were horrible.
No, luckily.
No, never.
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