Do you judge BEFORE you meet someone?

[Jay-_-]

I don't, I was taught better.

[Raphaëlle]

If its a total stranger, I do not. I try to not do it even when I've heard information about a person before I meet them. Sometimes it can be tricky. If it's some personal behavior or life choices I don't agree on, I feel I do judge a little even when I try to not do it.

[Purpleronnie]

Generally speaking no , I don’t. I try to take people at face value and who they are to me. Where the person is known to others around me , whom I consider to have sound judgement and they have shared their “opinion’ this can get a little trickier especially when it’s a person you ‘trust’ . In some senses they are kind of vetted but still I endeavor to wipe the slate choosing to focus on what they say and how they are with me and who they are to me.
Unless I was able to truly walk in a persons chose I have no right to judge them.

“We do not judge men by what they are in themselves, but by what they are relatively to us”

“Good judgement comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgement”

[jennifer_bloom]

I find a lot of religious people, even pastors and religious preachers operate by the 80% rule where they will assume something is 100% true, if they are 80% sure that it is true. I've had people scream at me for being lazy cause they thought I might be lazy, and they had never talked to me long enough to know whether their conclusions about me were correct.

The bible says if you have so little respect for God and his children that you will hate and gossip about somebody based on a theory about them without caring whether your views are true or not, God will punish you.

[Crimsyjo]

I try not to and I wouldn't if i was going into a new situation with strangers. But we ARE only human and if someone tells you things it's going to be hard not to form biases. Like if u were going to a work party and someone said "oh watch out for so and so. He's a real creep" then how can you not be cautious?

[Tomisworthless]

Turns out he's just ugly and quiet and everyone hates him and wants him gone, but were ONLY humane

[Crimsyjo]

@Tomisworthless not impossible but then we can still attempt to form our own opinions. It's just having prior negative knowledge may colour your perception of their behaviour. I didn't say it's fair or right. Just kind of impossible not to be effected. That's why unless it's an absolute fact/truth people shouldn't gossip and let others form their own opinions.

[PeachyPie93]

Yeah usually.. I tend to judge most people pretty harshly unless they are super good looking. But if the person is very persistent in wanting to meet even if I have a bad first impression I will go because I like eager guys and worst come the worst he may kill me but that wouldn't be such a bad outcome lol.

[itsannalee]

Yeah sure, because I won't meet someone if i don’t feel safe meeting them.

[Jay-_-]

If it's out of safety I 100 percent understand and I 100 percent agree with you.

[genericname85]

Of course. In some sense we all do and it's politically correct nonsense to claim that you don't do it. It's part of our primal animal instincts. It can't just be turned off.

[genericname85]

like take the example. even your picture. here. is see you're fit and slender. so my judgement is that you live a healthy livestyle or at least you got a good diet that obviously keeps you in a healthy weight range. right there. that's judgement. what's wrong with that?

[Jay-_-]

It all depends, not everyone has that nature only time I'll make a type of judgment call is a sense of danger other than that you need to speak for yourself because I do not make any other judgement call without meeting someone.

[Jay-_-]

I agree in some sense, but not overall

[genericname85]

well so you do make that type of judgement. and you also mentioned the reason why we have this in the first place. it's an evolutionary trait that helped us avoid danger and survive. so i think it's ultimately a good thing.

[genericname85]

and in order for you to function in society, you need a rough set of ideas that help you navigate it, cause there's no way to ever know litterally everyone individually. so yeah. judgement is needed and does make sense.

[Jay-_-]

Yea I understand where you're coming from if it's a life or death situation but if it's meeting someone in a non shady situation I personally would not judge them

[genericname85]

i think that fringes on dangerous naivity tho. not everyone can be trusted and you should let your previous experiences inform your behavior for current encounters. because you need a mechanism that helps you learn not to get fucked over in this world. it's not always about survival or live or death situations.
like you can't even help the judgement you're making. your brain does it automatcially. what you can do is not listen to it and give people a chance anyway. and while that is probably more "fair", at some point you'll have to make the call if you'd rather be "safe" or "fair", cause that's a direct trade off.

[Jay-_-]

Then when do you live if you always keep that mentality you are never living you're living in paranoia, which I used to live like that, not anymore. At the end of the day I can defend myself if I need to

[Jay-_-]

That is probably where your thought process is coming from paranoia. If that's how you think?

[genericname85]

the thing is: there's more than enough people in this world to be close with and call friends. like you can't even possibly know everyone enough which i kind of previously said but i guess i need to elaborate that point. i don't need to go out of my way to try to be friends with people that my judgement says are bad. like if they aren't actually bad and i'm wrong, i'm willing to accept that collateral damage. i'm not losing much in my perception by doing that but i gain a lot of safety from being fucked over. i rather have that than being right with my judgement and ignoring my intuition just to be fucked over yet again.

i think it's a good idea to question your judgement once in a while just to check if your judgement does you more harm than good. but i don't think ditching it entirely is a good idea.

[genericname85]

i mean "paranoia" isn't exactly fair. cause you do have factual experience in your life that you base your judgement on. it's not an "unjustified" misstrust or delusional fear. it's calculated carefullness based on previous experiences with other people.

[Jay-_-]

I agree with you to a certain extent I know exactly the feeling of having trust issues that you carry on but when does it end if that person you're carrying it onto didn't or doesn't deserve it.

[Jay-_-]

As a person who's dealt with it I guarantee you it is paranoia if it wasn't the person who did the action.

[genericname85]

well as a person who has tried to ignore their judgement and intuition a LOT to be a more fair and open minded person, i can tell you from my experience, every time i did that, i got punished cause my judgement turned out to be exactly right. and the bad part is: i know this is exactly why racism exists... and i'm not a racist but man i'd really rather be unfair than get fucked over. i guess it's a matter of chance to reach that conclusion in some way so i do understand your critique. for me personally it's more like why change a system that works?

[Jay-_-]

I understand I get it it's your experience

[Jay-_-]

Which is why I'm not trying to change your point of view

[genericname85]

Appreciate it. :) always good to find mutual understanding even tho disagreeing with each other.

[Jay-_-]

Of course 💯🙏🏼

[LiamJHayden]

Not generally, but if the person is waving a Nazi flag or dressed as a Klansman, yeah I'm judging before meeting.

[Crazzyyworld]

I judge after I meet someone or some monkey or fish

[Crazzyyworld]

I assume that the person is selfish or not

[Tomisworthless]

I do, I was taught worse

[Abbycado]

Nope

[Agape93]

Of course

[user83333333]

yeh for sure