Should men have the right to opt out of fatherhood?

[HawkPerception]

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Yes

No

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1 y

To everyone saying "They already do." ... you're missing the point of the question. It's just about finding your perspective on the matter.

[hahahmm]

I should have the right to opt out of my tax dollars going to help anybody who can't afford their own kids. I don't believe in government owned orphanages or single moms getting money because they had kid (s) with a guy who didn't stick around.

[RiseofArtemis]

Absolutely yes, if they get tricked into it or its not theirs then they should, also they should not have to pay if it isn't theirs.

[ohsheeT]

They already have that right it's called a condom. ..

And it's not like it's a hurry hurry type of deal I mean they have an opportunity to even think about it. Before they do it

. I mean it's called common sense and if a guy does not use a condom then he should be held responsible that's the bottom line. .
The girl the whole boss of the whole situation if she does not protect herself and also tell the guy to protect himself or otherwise he's not going to get laid that's her problem that's her fault too and she should be held responsible

This b******* is just hooking up and rolling the dice is b******* it's been going on way too long and it's just teaching our younger generations well if she gets pregnant I'll just say it's not mine or she's just going to have to get an abortion f*** you guys both you need to pay the price

Maybe if parents were held responsible as the same with the kids that are just f****** and doing this kind of stuff and they had to pay a big hefty hefty fine

And for the weekend warriors to just go out and have a one night stand they have to pay a hefty price I mean hefty price and then donate their time to children's homes adoption agencies something has to change

[Passerby2]

Man you can use that same logic for a woman getting pregnant. But you dont. Because you're illogical. And Id say it to your face

[TheRealPepperPotts]

I don't mean to be rude, but they already do and use it.

Most of the single parent situations I am closely acquainted with, the father shares custody and uses it to make his ex's and kids life a nightmare, not to be a good father. One of them, the father couldn't have custody of only one of the children (the one he molested), but he could have custody of the other (a girl). She never wanted to be around him, she was scared of him, but she had no choice but to be with him on "his weekends". That is so wrong and evil; what kind of court system allows that?

I do not say this to say that men are bad fathers, or that fathers never deserve custody. I know of one father who sought and won full custody of his kids and he fully deserved it (his wife was a deadbeat). I know of many great fathers in my acquaintance as well. I am simply saying that the situations are always more complex than just a blanket statement.

[HawkPerception]

To address your first bit "I don't mean to be rude, but they already do and use it." :

When a question like "Should abortion be allowed?" is asked, it is not a question of whether it is legal or whether it happens already. The purpose of the question is simply to identify someone's perspective on the matter.

Other than that, I agree. Not much in life is written in black and white and always goes by a case by case scenario.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@HawkPerception I get that and that's fair. :)

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@HawkPerception OK, I have a little more time to respond now... :)

So, when I saw the title of the question, I wasn't really thinking of it in the context of you specifically. :) I was thinking of it in the context of guys who read a story about women who die because they are pregnant and can't get care due to the danger to the baby, and then dismiss it with "Well, if women can have abortions, men should be able to opt out of fatherhood". That struck a nerve with me, I admit. I know you are a good-hearted person and my frustration wasn't directed at you, but at the larger dismissive attitude I've experienced when this argument comes up.

I am pro-life for the most part, and I strongly disagree with "convenience" abortions due to lack of appropriate birth control. But there are cases where I think abortion is critical for healthcare. For example, since Roe v. Wade was overthrown, some of the ways that hospitals have handled the care of pregnant women have made me aware that my life could be endangered if I were pregnant and had a complication. The hospital would rather deny me care and risk my life than run the risk of being liable for an action endangering the life of the fetus.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@HawkPerception I very nearly had a scenario like that happen years ago, when I was married and pregnant and very, very ill. I didn't lose the baby, but I would have died if certain actions had not been taken to save my life, despite my pregnancy. I would never choose abortion, but certain life-saving measures administered in pregnancy can lead to the death of the baby. Those are the measures that are now being avoided in healthcare settings because the hospital doesn't want to deal with pro-life groups coming after them. That's the area I have serious concerns about. When a medical professional cannot do their job and save lives, that is where I draw the line. I mean, imagine if their wife or girlfriend had a detached placenta (placental abruption) and was bleeding to death, and the hospital kept sending her home because the baby is still alive at 20 weeks? Good grief!

That being said, I apologize for how I responded. It wasn't meant for you, but for people who use the prolife position as a way of punishing people rather than saving lives. I'll try and do better. :)

[HawkPerception]

@TheRealPepperPotts I have and always will respect your opinions, so not to worry. You didn't have to go through the trouble to explain yourself, but I appreciate your desire to correct anything that may have been misinterpreted.

I know your character and I already know you didn't say what you did to be rude or with ill intention. I'm also aware of the fact that you're pro-life.

However, there are bound to be subjects we disagree on such as this and religion.

I won't go to deep into my reasoning, but I believe the majority of women try to avoid abortions and don't do them out of "convenience", continuously getting knocked up irresponsibly. I believe when they're growing a life inside of them, their primal and maternal instincts form a connection to it and they'd rather keep it.

I believe it's up to the women to decide what they want to do with a matter that resides in their body.

Anyways... I will always view you as a woman of class and still be an advocate for you being an influencer. I find that you have an eloquent way of communicating your ideas to others and your views are always morally righteous (I find them better than others opinions).

You're good Ms. Potts! 😁

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@HawkPerception Thanks for that, and for the encouragement! I appreciate what you are trying to do here too, and I hope your platform takes off! I'm rooting for you. :)

[Cormac995]

I went with yes, but I want to stipulate that it's very situational and in most of the cases I'd say no. Circumstances that I think would be fair to walk is

1. If the child isn't his and she cheated he owes her or the child nothing because the kids not his and she made the entire marriage a lie the moment she cheated. I don't care if you're on your deathbed. If you cheat on someone, I hope they leave you to die alone in that situation.

2. The woman conceived without consent on purpose when the man made it clear he didn't want kids. I don't know why some women think they can trap a man by getting pregnant. That's one of the dumbest things you can do.

First if he finds out it was on purpose, and she poked holes in the condoms or something he was essentially sexually violated in which case frankly I think there should be a way to sue the offender for some kind of SA charge.

Second you're 90% more likely to scare him off with that then lock him down because he won't want to be trapped in a life he didn't want. Frankly if you want a man to stick around the very last thing you want to do is force a child on him If you do 90% you played yourself and you should get used to the idea of being a single mom.

Three its sick and fucks with the kids head and you're turning them into a pawn in your sick game. It's a child, a person and it shouldn't have been created because YOU were insecure in the relationship.

I also believe that as long as abuse was not part of the reason the divorce happened, I also think men and woman should be exempt from alimony payments if the partner refuses joint custody. If he's not abusive it's his/her kid too and they have a right to be in the kid's life since it took two to make it.

[Crazyced]

Men's reproductive rights are so non existent that in 40 days and 40 nights, if Nicole had succeed in her endeavour, he would have been on the hook. And it's such a non issue that a scene where a person gets drugged, tied up and raped to completion without protection is part of a romantic comedy where the victim spends to rest of the movie trying to apologies to his girl.

As it stands, if a man's seed is successfully used to create a child, he is on the hook, regardless of how it was acquired. Married men and those who otherwise signed the birth certificate under deception are also on the hook.

And the worst yet. Children victims of statutory rape? Yep you guessed it, also deemed willing and responsible (Hell, they made a comedy movie about that too 'That's my boy'). Men's lack of reproductive rights spares absolutely no one and it truly is appealing.

[Crazyced]

*appalling
Auto correct with the perfect timing once again

[Crazyced]

What a timing, 2 recent example of women assaulting and getting pregnant with 12 yo boys. Both teachers. I think it's long past due to dispel the myth that 'women don't do that'. Let's see what happen to those children.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKe9rnKIoaU

[Finchie40]

Some men already do , if they aren’t capable of being a father , Why there are so many single mothers’ out there already that are raising children by themselves. There are single fathers’ as well that had their partner walk away on them and the kids’ as well , so it can go both ways. To be a parent is a huge responsibility that some people aren’t capable of doing , just like some people aren’t capable of being in a relationship with someone and choose to stay single , It doesn’t make them a bad person , if they take accountability for their own selfish actions and behavior but to other people they are bad people for not raising their children or being in a relationships with someone. Most people in general are judgmental about everyone else but never themselves.

[Crimsyjo]

They already do. Majority. My dad was a barely there "birthday/Christmas" dad. My daughters dad ended up the same and now she's 18 has completely opted out. He thought sending money that he was obligated to made him a father. Ha. Useless the whole lot of them.

I've seen some, very few, but some men that are good fathers despite relationship breakdown. But it's rare.

[MasterKS]

@Crimsyjo good point.

[nawtee_me]

I divorced my ex, but not my kids…. I am a single father.

[Passerby2]

the harsh reality is if you ended up a single mom the guy was never really into you

[Crimsyjo]

@Passerby2 that's not true. We were together 12 years and married. Together 5 years before deciding to have a baby. When we broke up... he struggled to ever get over it. Even now and we been split 14 years now. But he would "get depressed" over seeing me when seeing our daughter. So he couldn't handle it. He couldn't separate her from me and make it about seeing his daughter.
So... don't be so quick to judge or presume that all single mums are flawed in some way.

[Passerby2]

ok. most single mothers exist because the woman thought she was hot but really just essentially got pumped and dumped

[Crimsyjo]

@Passerby2 wow. That is the most untrue thing I've ever heard. The majority of women are normal women looking for love and relationships. They can wait for sex in marriage or maybe had a couple boyfriends first or whatever. A thousand stories of how and why they ended up with a guy. They have a relationship. Some get married, some don't. They have a baby.. or more than one.. with a guy.
That's usually where things go wrong. Because majority of men suck. They are brought up selfish and mummy-boys. Things are good when with a woman and having sex and doing things together. But then baby comes along... suddenly the mum hasn't as much time for him. Instead of helping so she does, he goes distant. The woman is overwhelmed and distressed. Maybe puts on weight, stops dressing up. Feels disrespected and unloved. Sex usually goes. Sex is main way people bond or feel loved. Now the man thinks ugh, no sex, coming home to crying baby, wife no longer attractive...
From either his end, hers, or both... relationship ends. Oh look. Guess who gets stuck with the kids? And sadly cos the mums actually love their kids they do it.

So men are more at fault for creating single mums. The single mums are victims of a selfish culture. Men can be invested in a relationship, create kids, then leave it and be like they were single again. A woman can never return to how she was before kids. And on top of that get judgmental assholes saying she should have picked a better man?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Yes, god knows men just shoot their swimmers wherever they please just because they can, doesn’t mean they’re father material and probably shouldn’t be. And simultaneously, women should be able to opt out of motherhood and pregnancy, but saying the latter gets those pro-life people up in arms because they love to control the voices of the voiceless.

[backdoorman]

Yes, they should. Women can opt out of parenthood by having an abortion. Men should have a similar option, but only if certain conditions are met.

[chocolatetwopointo]

and when abortion becomes illegal or the woman can't have or want one? should he still be able to leave whenever he wants to? why can't he take responsebility like the woman usually has to do?

[backdoorman]

@chocolatetwopointo First of all, if women don't have the option to have an abortion, men should also not have the option to walk away. Fair is fair.

Why couldn't the nearly 1 million women who have abortions every year take responsibility instead of walking away from being a parent? Again, fair is fair.

[chocolatetwopointo]

totally agree. ill give u some reasons. maybe they were poor and knew having a kid would be selfish, maybe the dad left, maybe the dad was in jail or didn't want to have a kid, maybe she’s young

[backdoorman]

@chocolatetwopointo Yep, and if you turn the gender tables, all those some things apply to fathers.

[chocolatetwopointo]

and?

[backdoorman]

@chocolatetwopointo I think I misread your previous post. All good.

[caitycat21]

Absolutely not, it takes two to tango. If you went and got a girl pregnant it’s your responsibility to step up and take care of the child you helped create 🤷🏽‍♀️

[MotherEarth2020]

No! No! No! They help make the child. They should help raised the child.

Unless their a super bad person or something. Then just take their money

[CheeseMonster]

Are they really going to outlaw divorce and single custody? I thought at least that would be safe for the near future...

[RingOfFire]

Since the father has a legal obligation to pay for the child's support shouldn't they also have the legal right to have an equal vote about aborting the child?

[genericname85]

depends. it should be fair. if women can opt out of motherhood, then men should have the same right and vice versa if women can't do it, men shouldn't be able to either.

[AviatorTom]

Yes, that's called abstinence or always wearing a condom.

[TheStaleMarshmellow]

Be a lion. Fuck and forget.

Sometimes late abortion and replace.

[jeremy_09]

That's a good thing for girls to keep in mind too, if you're not prepared for this possibility with a guy you shouldn't have sex with him.

(meaning the fuck and forget, not the abortion thing)

[TheStaleMarshmellow]

@jeremy_09 Lol by our standards, Lions are horrible step fathers

[Staximus]

Maybe if the guy is a scumbag and the kid would be better off without him

[GlowUpGirly5]

a lot of them do but not all. I know of some very hands on fathers.

[Jupiter1]

No, especially if he’s well aware that he’s the one who got that girl pregnant.

[Garud]

If the child is not theirs

[HungTexan]

It’s a choice that comes with responsibility.

[exitseven]

nope- you broke it , you bought it

[BlckGrl]

They already do babe.

[DrPepper12]

Umm they can and do?

[HawkPerception]

Should abortion be allowed?

[DrPepper12]

Legal?
Of course

Exclusively her decision? Of course!

[HawkPerception]

So it wasn't hard to answer your opinion on that, but you to this question you said "Umm they can and do?" 😂

[DrPepper12]

Yeah they can opt out as in choosing not to have a child.

You're referring to if they've already impregnated somebody then that ship has sailed! It's exclusively her choice at that point.