Why do friends turn on you out of nowhere?

[Anonymous]

I made friends with an Autistic woman at work. She was ten years older than me but I found her to be so nice and kind. Put effort into the friendship and even helped me plan my birthday.

As time went on “few years” she started acting more and more different. She started telling my secrets to other coworkers, commenting rude things about the way I look when I walked in the room and generally not supporting me through a few tough times.
I tried to let it go but her be-friending an ex friend who really hurt me in the past when I needed her support was the last straw.
I confronted her and she apologised and told me she really wanted to still remain friends. I believed her and a few weeks later she went back to her negative ways.

I have walked away from the friendship without any answer to why she started acting like this…could it be possible she just stopped masking and this is the real her? 😞

Updates

12 d

Just wanted to come up with an answer before I put this friendship to rest.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Why did you invest in this bitch to begin with? I might talk shit with the boys, but I'm not going to share secrets unless... what's the point of that?

I've been in your shoes though, and at this point afterwords... I'll recognize a sycophant and treat them accordingly. They'll be the first to stab you in the back when your chips are down and your enemy is more likely to give you a helping hand to get back on your feet.

This is just how people are and how society works. They don't give a fuck about your effort. They are cold and calculating and will step on you to get a boost up to elevate themselves above you.

Be me... employ a combination of lies, manipulation, cheating, stealing, gaslighting, bullying, insulting, & flexing to keep them under your thumb. When they are no longer useful you discard them like the trash they are.

Welcome to the world. The world is ruthless and the book of Ruth was not included in the bible for reasons. Go find out why.

[blueonblack22]

You got to consider that she’s autistic which may or may not impact her sense of loyalty. But either way she’s not all together upstairs.

You can be kind and loving to people. But be careful and don’t assume that her mental condition (yes needs empathy but it’s not the same as trust) in itself makes her a noble person.

I think we’ve seen too many movies where disabled people we always more noble than the average Joe/Jane. Not always true.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Speaking as an autistic woman, I doubt her negative comments of you were her unmasking. If she truly didn’t like you, you wouldn’t have seen her at all. More likely, she was masking when she was “judging” you as part of rejection avoidance. There must have been something around the office environment you were all in that convinced her it was a normal conversation to have and was expected of her. A lot of people on the autism spectrum have a higher sense of rejection sensitivity and I imagine she was looking to just fit in with the other folks at your job. But you don’t have to be her friend if you don’t feel comfortable with that.

[PeachyPie93]

She either never liked you from the beginning and was being a pretend friend or she is threatened or jealous of you about something. When girls tear you down it is usually out of jealousy. I had a couple friends like this who would be rude to me for no reason I now drop them very easily. If someone is against me they are automatically my enemy, so fuck 'em.

[Purpleronnie]

Sorry she treated you like that but the reality is that true friends don’t turn on each other like that, the reality is that the friendship was one way which is sadly quite common.
I only hope you try not to let it affect how you trust others that have potential to be better for you and add to your life


Finally to your point , people change and that’s the most likely explanation for what’s happened.

[ProbablyClueless]

That happens when the person is your friend out of convenience; not because they actually like you. They only value the relationship as far as they get something from it.

Things will be good until even the slightest demand is placed on the relationship. It sucks when that happens. I've had a lot of friendships like that.

[Lynx122]

I don't know I'm autistic and I don't keep people around to treat them badly. If I have a problem with the other person I'll talk it out or if it doesn't work and they become a negative influence I'll leave. I don't gain anything from being mean to others. I can't read her mind why she did what she did sry.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Its why I'm just careful with who I friend, I try to read them the best I can before truly friending them

[dustybiker2]

If she is autistic she might have *learned this behavior on how to socialize from someone close to her growing up. Most likely a mother.

[strateguy632]

Wait, you know she is autism, so they just say criticism they think, you can't blame her for that.

[FreyaRed]

It's incredibly easy to make a mistake while talking a lot, such mistakes cause often some kind of aversion.

[foxsquirrell]

It seems like she is wearing a mask with you. Very common. Such are these so called human beings.

[jshm2]

They don't. You either screwed her first, or she feels you did.

[Asker]

I haven’t done anything. I just think she changes friend groups often. She gets sick of people easily.

[LiamJHayden]

I've never had a friend turn on me, but if I did that person would be cut off immediately.

[AmazonChick171]

Autistic or not, what she did was unacceptable! Drop her ass and find new friends.

[Pohjolan]

I will never understand why women have or be fake friends.

I'd rather have a honest enemy.

[Silver158]

Had this with non-autistic people in the past and in my experience they were never your friend they were just pretending to get close and figure out how to cause problems.

[Yohenis]

REPEAT AFTER ME!!!

CO - WORKERS ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND'S

CO - WORKERS ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND'S

CO - WORKERS ARE NOT YOUR FRIEND'S

Never tell them your secrets.

[In_Trance]

What does her being autistic have anything to do with

[Asker]

I wouldn’t have brought it up but her masking is a big part of the situation.

[Asker]

And from her own words people with Autism mask to fit in.

[Anonymous]

Guys act like this too when u start leveling up. They get all insecure and start acting different and hating. It’s funny to me. Guess we were never really friends to begin with. Just goes to show u most guys nowadays are bitches

[Anonymous]

They were never you friends to begin with. pretty simple.

[Connie88]

Cause they are weak friends.

[nawtee_me]

Could it be the autism?

[Hassaniscool]

Been hating you since day one

[Danny_dan92]

Those aren’t friends