When parenting children, do you believe in tough love, being honest with them in every scenario or being positive and "you did a good job" approach?

[HawkPerception]

Tough love, being honest with them in every scenario

Positive and "You did a good job!" approach

A total of 9 votes were cast: 3 girls and 6 guys. See detailed results

[sage2021]

You have to remember that they are going to be adults one day and have a job.
When children are praised too much for every little thing and the parents are clapping and saying "Good job"!! Just because little Beavis went poo poo 💩 in the big potty - they will get used to being praised and in the real world, they won't get praised very often if at all and I believe that it isn't beneficial to them because they will probably be looking for that praise they always got as a child and wonder why they aren't getting it at work.

Something to think about 🤔

[sage2021]

Thank you for the MHO 🙂🧁🌷

[DishLady]

The healthiest is a combination of both. Like:

"This is a really nice piece! Next time, can you also try __?"

or

"You know, I understand you did your best, and it's a good start, but your teacher was probably expecting something more like __ this time. It's ok. You'll do better next time."

Barking at a kid only leads to them having a lower EQ that registers "instructional" tones as negatives. By the time they're ready to graduate middle school they learn to shut out "instructional" prompts as negative.

[HawkPerception]

Doing both in different scenarios is definitely best, but I try to play devil's advocate with my questions to see where people lean more towards. For me, I'd lean more towards being honest with my kids.

[Summeroflove]

Being honest doesn’t always mean being a dick about it. But kids a lot of times grow up into adulthood with the good enough mindset and looking for a Pat on the head all the time.

Look. I agree with loving your kids and nurturing them. There is two extremes:… So remember to find the balance. It’s also damaging when they are never good enough.

[slatyb]

Honest is good. I don't know how that relates to "tough love". I believe in parenting through natural and logical consequences. If it's not dangerous, children should experience the consequences of their behavior. Forgot lunch? Go hungry. Behavior dangerous to their health? Remove them, don't return until they can be safe.

[HawkPerception]

If a kid plays an instrument or sport badly, would you tell them honestly or tell them they're good?

[slatyb]

I would tell them that they are improving and that the point of doing music or art is not to compare oneself with others but to have the experience for yourself. They will be evaluated by others, there's no reason for me to do it. I would never offer false praise. Children see through that and it reduces their trust.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I don't have kids, but I'd do all 3 of those methods at the same time.
"This is what you did wrong."
"Here is how to do it correctly."
"Keep at it and you'll get it eventually, just be patient."
"Good job, you did it right this time."
"Impressive, you figured out a new way to do it"
That sort of thing.

You can be honest and critical without being a jerk about it. And you can be positive without enabling laziness or ignorance.

[Smashingdoozy]

I wouldn't really do either. Kids are experiencing everything for the first time. They don't know how to regulate emotions. My goal would be to help them with that. Crying or being upset isn't something that should be punished in my opinion. Infact punishment just makes it worse and creates adults who don't know how to handle anything emotional.

[HungTexan]

I believe in tough love, and I think most people do but they don’t always follow through.

[princeofromance]

This is the only way to prepare them for the real world as they grow older and build towards the future.

[DaBiggestBird]

They’re both good, there must be balance. Just one without the other won’t bring the best results

[CB-Raido-Time]

Discipline is an area I would find it very hard to do they cry and they got me for sure. I was given permission to whip children on more than one occasion but there was no way.

[Gwendoline]

Encouragement is important

[dustybiker2]

Loving but firm.

[SuperZonicGUY1992]

Let them do whatever they want.