Who else hates having friends because they drain your energy and you feel like their unpaid therapist?

[KezHarris]

[Anonymous]

I rather have a friend who needs to vent since mental health conditions can become horrific if possible that friend actually need some friendship & might open up more to you before any one in a ER actually. Because it not always going to helpful yet let whomever is given you a personal burden for you. Which also could make that person who actually can feel from the possible tension in the room which I don't know your situation it's just many people are fearful of trust these hospital which many times is positive experience in their past. Yet I only give a option on my view.

[OneViewpoint]

Yup! Women tend to think I’m shy or lonely because I don’t approach them or engage in conversations easily.

Nope! I like a peaceful existence. I keep my circle of friends small. It can take 2 years to get to know me.

Why? Because my entire adult life, in the military, in business, in my family (parents and sisters, ex wife, kids, friends, friends wives….. I’ve been the one they all come to. For advice, financial, technical, cars, houses, jobs, money, relationships.

I got fed up with it long ago and decided to actively manage who I allow around me.

I’m not shy and I’m not lonely. I’m thrilled to have a few hours to myself where no one is asking me for anything.

[Lynx122]

I honestly don't mind helping friends with their mental health because I've focused on that a lot and I feel like it's one of the things I'm able to give to others. As long as they appreciate me and it's not a totally one sided relationship it's fine for me. I haven't experienced it being as bad as you describe.

[dustybiker2]

Friends take effort and genuine love. The more you put into them the more they are willing to put into you. It's how it works. Proving dependability. You are either not dependable or they are not your friends ans you need to find better people to socialize with.

[Friendlybro79]

All of your friends or just a few? You can just tell them kind of what you said here so that they can hear you vent for a change and that could sound like:

I've got something to talk to you about because it's really upsetting me and causing me a lot of aggravation and drained... Your constant complaining and expecting me to be your unpaid therapist.

It's ok to lean on a friend here and there but I am not enjoying our time together at all because of the constant therapy you need me to provide. It's draining me of my own happiness and I'd like you to respect some boundaries here.

[AnonAndrew]

It's normal for friends to share their troubles, but it sounds like they're going overboard in your case. That's not been my experience of friendship, so either a) your friends just happen to be going through a tough time right now - that happens!, or b) you have picked poor friends. :(

[HungTexan]

It’s but just a few friends that require so much time and attention. If it becomes chronic with any of them, try weaning them off of you as their main source of feedback and support. If they’re chronic needy then they’ll move to someone else if you’re not always available.

[JustinTheGreat]

Having friends that constantly trauma dump on you can be mentally exhausting, especially if you suffer with issues yourself.

i can understand the frustration. But it’s not necessarily having friends in general, just the friends you have in particular.

I've had friends like that and thats why i had to end those friendships.

[sage2021]

I have always cherished my friends. I think that being a good friend is to be there for the good times and the not so good of times.
Maybe you just need different friends.

[MemeSupreme]

kinda?

BUT if you're helping them THEN it helps distracts you from your own problems... big brain play

[avery58]

No, I like helping my friends... But I can't trust most people anymore so usually keep to myself lately.

[KostasKouvalis]

That's what friends are for though. To support each other in times of need. Not just someone to drink and party with. If this feels like a burden for you, then friends probably aren't for you.

[alice55]

True, a friend are here to help and listen to you if they don't or don't like it then they're just buddy and not friends.

[KostasKouvalis]

@alice55 I was actually thinking of YOU, when I answered this :)

I'm pretty certain I've scared away many people by confiding in them

[alice55]

I was thinking of you too ^^

It's possible some people just want the benefit of being friend without actually giving anything it's crazy how they feel entitled but then when you try to open to them there's nobody anymore.

[KostasKouvalis]

@alice55 Yeah. Or they tell you they're not a therapist

[alice55]

It's so crazy but this sound like a very American problem because here in France it never happen, French people quite like hearing you talk for hours and help, American seem to only want the benefit of relationship and that's it it's crazy.
Some American have called me a snowflakes out of the blue for no reasons I was confused XD

[KostasKouvalis]

I know. Other nationalities are worse. There's this female Georgian folk band. I complained that they stopped making music just because they were helping Ukrainian refugees, when it was a time like this that we needed their music most. And I said I would listen to their music to relax me, and Georgian men started being so rude saying I'm a sissy and they aren't therapists. I've never seen such toxic masculinity.
I've mainly heard this from eastern European and Anglo girls, but one Arab girl too. That this kind of stuff will scare girls off and that if I need to talk to someone I should see a therapist

[KostasKouvalis]

With some of the things I experienced when you were gone I'm not surprised.

[Red_Arrow]

My friends do not drain my energy or make me feel like their unpaid therapist. What kind of people do you attract?

[WhitneySnow]

I get what you’re saying but they’re fun to hang out with and they can be your therapist too.

[Cute_User513]

I charge by the minute 🙃

[WhitneySnow]

@Cute_User513 amazing! ☺️

[HelpfulWoman]

orrrrrr cut off those friends/set boundaries so they don't make you feel that way

[ProbablyClueless]

I've had a number of friends like that over the years. I've been able to get rid of those relationships though.

[Lord_of_Bugra]

I usually don't talk to friends who drain my energy.

[fantasticass]

They are not your friends. You need to find new people to hang out with

[exitseven]

I do not mind that if they really need help. I always had my friend's backs.

[Staximus]

I just stopped hanging out with people like that, I've got two jobs and don't have time for their drama bullshit

[genericname85]

that's a pretty good sign that you need better friends.

[Wiredone]

Sounds like you need to find new friends. My friends aren't like that

[altaboy]

Yes, I feel like that, but I am very much an introvert. I find socializing draining.

[zagor]

You need new friends. Mine make me feel reinvigorated.

[blackeagle007]

It does get tiresome. Now if I was paid to listen to their stories, then I’m in

[molonski2]

I can understand exactly what you are saying.

[Alwayreckles93]

Me right here 🤨

[FunkyMonkee]

I hate friends THAT drain my energy!!

[Ms_Facesitter]

I don't hate friends, because they don't drain me.

[Iron_Man]

Good friends are needed

[jahaims]

Those aren't friends then

[Pterodon]

That means they’re not your friends

[Crazzyyworld]

I feel like an unpaid sucker

[grega239]

Thats why i dont have female friends

[seeyounexttuesday]

You sound miserable.

[Anonymous]

I have felt that way many times.

[bigjake1014]

Right lol 😂