Am I wrong for feeling this way towards my mom?

Question

Well, my mom is now in a wheelchair and can not walk due to her arthritis. She had knee surgery last year, she actually started healing from that and started going out with her friends right before she completely healed and injured herself again. A month following my mom's knee surgery her so called best friend picked her up and took her out to dinner for her birthday and her scar from her surgery was not completely healed and it was raining outside. That same friend took my mom to a Chiropractor after her surgery and when she brought my mother home my mom fell in the front yard, mom was on a walker. People who suffer from Rheumatoid Arthritis is not supposed to see a Chiropractor it can make the condition worse. The ambulance had to be called when she fell. All this after her surgery on her knee.

I do not like OR trust my mom's friends. My mom is disabled and her friends take my mom out knowing she's in pain & the following day mom curse me out cause she in pain. I told my mom to stay home when her arthritis is flared but she didn't listen and now she is in a wheelchair. She blames me for her not being able to walk. I begged her to stay home when her arthritis was inflamed. Now because of her stubbornness I have to lift under her to put her on the potty, help put her in the wheelchair, lift her on the bed and do all kinds of lifting hurting my back.

My mom still shows me no appreciation and blame me for her condition. The friend she was going shopping with and staying out for hours at a time with is not here tending to my mom. I am with the help of my children. I feel so alone, and hopeless. I stay with my mom and tend to her cause she can not take care of herself and she shows me no appreciation.

My mom's friends check her mail, got keys to her house, write her checks etc. She see nothing wrong with this. I have no key to her house and I live with her, yet her friend got a key. I do not understand at all... I want to walk away am I wrong for felling like this?

Sssssshhhhh123 · Answer

No I don’t think you are not wrong for feeling the way you are feeling. I think it’s quite common when people are caretakers for their loved ones to feel frustrated. It’s easy for people to point the finger at someone else when they are having issues instead of admitting that they did it to themselves. Maybe when your mom is in a ok mood lightly ask her if it’s an ok time to talk? And explain to her the how her actions and the way she is speaking to you is affecting you. I think communication is so important and it can be hard sometimes. Maybe explain that if she can’t treat you with more respect for your health it might be better for her to find another caretaker. I know it might be hard but you have to prioritize yourself to be able to give the best care for your loved ones properly. It takes a lot to take care of someone you love especially your mom when you want the best for her. I think the biggest part is trying to figure out how to communicate to her your needs as well throughout this all.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

You feel frustrated and unappreciated, it’s a valid way to feel especially when you think your mother doesn’t hear you or your concerns. If you want to walk away, why don’t you? If your mother makes you feel you’re unwanted, give her a reason to care for herself

Surely · Answer

You have every right to feel the way you do. I took care of my mother for seven years. Stroke and breast cancer. My brother was there to stir the pot and put ideas into our mother’s head. Never to help out.
I would try to put her friends on the spot and say that you were going on vacation and needed a mother sitter.
If they keep letting her injure herself. She will need to be put into a nursing care facility.

Am I wrong for feeling this way towards my mom?

What Girls & Guys Said

Is my mom valid for feeling like this?

Am I wrong for feeling this way towards my mom?

What Girls & Guys Said

Is my mom valid for feeling like this?

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