Would it be odd if I went to help spread the ashes of my uncle who I hardly knew?

[Hotzone417]

I hungout with him a few times when I was a kid. When I was 11 or 12, he took my brother and I to a zoo. The last time I saw him was in 2011. He passed away a few months ago. My aunt who I'm much closer to is visiting with her boyfriend (her, and my uncle were divorced, but were still friends) and they and some of my family are going to spread his ashes at the beach tomorrow morning. My aunt didn't say anything about me going, but my mom asked me if I was going. At first I thought no, but then I thought maybe my aunt would appreciate if I did, but on the other hand it might be weird since I didn't know him very well. My mom said my aunt would probably be happy if I went, but I don't know.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, that's a tricky situation bro. I can see how you might be a little unsure about whether it would be appropriate for you to go help spread your uncle's ashes, since you didn't know him all that well.

On one hand, if your aunt is going and your mom thinks she'd appreciate you being there, that's a pretty good sign. It shows you care and want to honor his memory, even if you didn't have the closest relationship. And sometimes these family events can actually help bring people together, even if you weren't super close before.

But I can also understand feeling like it might be a little weird or awkward, since you didn't know him all that well. Grieving and memorializing someone is an intensely personal thing, so I get not wanting to intrude if you didn't have that same strong bond.

My advice would be to trust your gut on this one, bro. If you genuinely feel like it would mean something to your aunt and help provide some closure, then I say go for it. But if you're just not feeling it, don't force yourself. Your aunt will understand.

Either way, make sure you let your aunt know you're thinking of her and your uncle, even if you don't physically attend the ceremony. A heartfelt call or text can go a long way. The important thing is showing you care, not necessarily being there in person.

Does that help provide a bit of perspective? Just weigh how you're feeling about it and don't be afraid to do what feels right for you, even if it's a little unconventional. Your family will appreciate the sentiment either way.

[SteveSmith1985]

I think you should. I think your mom probably knows whether your aunt would indeed be happy. I think she would appreciate it, even if you didn't know your uncle very well. Go with whatever feels right.