My mom slapped me during an argument and I pushed her, but why should I be the only one apologizing?

[Anonymous]

We had an argument, she slapped and I reacted by shoving her and screaming not to ever hit me again.

Needless to say she had a pikachu reaction, as if I had done the unthinkable. It's a reaction to getting slapped hard. What did she expected? If anything, I did much less than if it had been a friend or someone else.

Yet, my sister and a couple family relatives (esp the older ones) think I still shouldn't have replied back, not even for a push either... that I should speak to her because she's still in shock. Only my cousin actually thinks both of us were in the wrong and that if she slapped me first, she shouldn't get shocked I replied back.

I fail to understand why should I be the only one apologizing. I haven't and didn't because I refuse to accept full responsibility when she isn't accepting her wrong either.

[MemeSupreme]

bc she's lost her control and can't handle it. it's bullshit and ik it sucks having to deal with it in the first place, but don't apologize

ik it can be culture or whatever on why some parents think it's okay, but no one shit ever hit their kids. i get how rage inducing it can be

[Asker]

It's like kids aren't treated like a human but more like animals. The irony is that some of those same people that are very in favor of corporal punishment on kids are against hitting a dog with a newspaper. They are the very first ones to protest so much about animal abuse but have no problems hitting their children with objects that hurt.

[Asker]

So I don't understand that logic either... hitting your child but going berserk if someone hits an animal.

[MrZameer]

You should apologise her,
and she doesn't need to apologise you, as she is your mother, she gave birth to you, she bears pain while giving birth to you, she bears pain for 9 months,

[Asker]

She actually had an easy pregnancy with me (no morning sickness at all) and went with epidural, making it easier. It was as painful as a natural birth without epidural.
Her being my mother really doesn't excuse her conduct either. She really slapped the hell out of me, enough to make my face sting for a couple minutes meanwhile I only pushed her and it wasn't even that hard in comparing to what she did.

[Asker]

It wasn't as painful as without epidural

[MrZameer]

Still, you need to apologise her, she is your mother, not you are her mother,

[BobbyLee789]

Never apologize, especially if someone has hit you, that's unforgivable

[Asker]

yeah I'm really not sorry. She started the physical altercation and yet is shocked that I reacted... and yet I still replied much less.
I don't understand why that pikachu reaction. If you slap someone hard enough to sting during an argument, chances are they are going to react.

[BobbyLee789]

If course. She has to look learn that what she did is not okay

[Danny_dan92]

What did you say prior to getting slapped?

[Asker]

Unbelievable. That would be out of the question if it were arguments between spouses? It was an argument not to get meddle too much with my romantic life and she can't dictate who I'm dating anymore.

[Danny_dan92]

You said what?

[Asker]

What's wrong with standing my ground and telling her not to dictate who I'm dating. I'm old enough, don't even live with her (I was just visiting for a week) and can say whatever I want to.

[Danny_dan92]

You don’t want to answer the question. Got it. You probably said something utterly disrespectful to your mom

[Asker]

I've already answered the question. I told her she doesn't get to dictate who I'm dating acting like some tyrant boss. If that was rude, well so was slapping. Thanks a lot for excusing unacceptable behaviors that we wouldn't tolerate from a partner.

[Danny_dan92]

Is that what you said verbatim?

[Danny_dan92]

Or did you toss in insults in there? Call her names etc?

[Asker]

Verbatim
I'm not apologizing because I didn't start the physical altercation.

[Danny_dan92]

Ok, then yeah she went too far and was acting out her emotions

[Panthero80]

Did she slap you hard? Why did she do it?

[Asker]

Yes it was a hard slap. It stung for a bit and obviously that made me angry. This is the 3rd time she has done that, first when I was 14, then when I was 17 and then now. She thinks a disagreement was back-talking. Even so, why resort to slapping? That's wrong.

[Asker]

This is the only single time I've ever replied back by pushing her.

[Panthero80]

Did it leave a bruise or draw blood?

[Asker]

nope, it was only a bit red for a couple minutes. Still, I hate that.