How do you just get better friends?

[Anonymous]

I see this said as advice on loneliness, but I don't really see any advice on how to actually do it

[petitedollbabee]

By making new friends. There’s no way to know if they’re “better” than your current or old friends until you’ve befriended them. If you have hobbies, then find local clubs and groups that engage in your hobbies and meet people. If you have a job, start chatting to your coworkers and make a work friend. There is no perfect answer to getting “better” friends, but your chances are 0% if you make no effort to make a new friend.

[Asker]

Does this mean that loneliness is simply a function of effort?

Lonely people bare lazier and don't put in effort while people with social lives are hard working?

[Asker]

Also does this mean that all friend groups and i see were created from co-workers and hobby groups? I ask this because it doesn't seem that way at all but that's what you're recommending off the bat.

[petitedollbabee]

You asked a question, I gave a simple answer with suggestions. Yet you’re trying to put words in my mouth and find some hidden secret meaning in what I said, when there isn’t one.

[Asker]

I'm asking for a nuanced answer. I think those follow up questions are fair.

[petitedollbabee]

I don’t think you want a realistic answer, you just want to take your frustrations out on someone because you can’t make better friends.

[Asker]

No, I want to make better friends the way that the majority of the population does. The advice you're giving seems out doesn't sound at all like what the average person is doing to establish their friend groups.

I went outside and asked people if they did exactly what you said to find their friend groups and not one person said yes, most said their friend groups were friends from highschool and college.

[Asker]

You're also presenting the advice like a condescending asshole which reinforces my suspicious hat you're a trolling asshole so there that too

[petitedollbabee]

All of my friends have been made through local activity clubs and my former jobs. And my friends have made majority of their friends that way too. I don’t know many people who still have friends from highschool, and not everyone goes to college. But hey, rather than getting out there and actively trying to make new friends, sit here and complain about it to strangers on the internet.

[Asker]

Again with being a condescending heartless asshole. I'm asking for this advice and expressed vulnerability only for people like you to throw it back in my face as an insult. You're essentially moralizing your advice as the only true way forward and anyone who is skeptical or sees issues simply wants to be alone.

What makes your favorite the only true path and can you show evidence that backs up your attitude that anyone who thinks that your advice isn't the only way forward must be bad faith and wants to be alone?

Are you saying all the people I asked are Lying? Or are you saying that I'm lying and that the only way anyone in the History of humanity has ever gotten better friends is through your advice and there's no other possible ways? Explain exactly what you mean without the condensing abuser tactics

[Asker]

You come across as the type of person to tell a domestic abuse victim that they must like it if they stay. You seem to have 0 consciousness of trauma.

[Asker]

I was in an abusive relationship and they used the same tactics you did. When I tried to leave they would threaten me with how I'd be alone without them and no one would love me. So you pulling the same exact lines out is extremely upsetting yeT you seem to revel in glee at the prospect of me suffering. That's why I think you're disgusting. You views yourself as the only way forward and that anyone who disagrees with you is a loser and must mentally suffer or even die. You adopt the language of bullies and look for vulnerable people to trap and mentally abuse.

[jahaims]

If you can't make healthy friendships it means you are too stupid to figure people out. You are confused because you are stupid.

[Asker]

What is the conclusion then?

[Asker]

Would you stomp the skulls in of people without friends and laugh and bathe in their blood?