My friend doesn’t understand why she needs to sorry?

[Anonymous]

So we’ve been friends since high school. Anyways, I just came back from a trip, I got her stuff. She asked yesterday to meet up since I told her I’m back so it was spontaneous. My car is still down so my sister is my driver. So while me & my sister were at the mall to eat lunch, my friend called to ask to meet at a dessert place. I told her oh ok but I had to use the bathroom now.

so normally she likes to drive when we hangout but her car was down yesterday & she was using her mom’s car. So I didn’t think about her wanting to drive me & my sister to there. Anyways, bathroom was kind of long (lots of people) then I called back another friend who had missed called me earlier. Maybe big mistake on my end. At same time I told my sister let’s go to this dessert place, my friend wants to meet there.

So I’m talking to other friend on phone till we arrive at the place. My friend were waiting was upset cuz apparently she was waiting at the mall to pick us up. I really didn’t know, I just saw her text messages. I told her sorry I didn’t see this till now I was on a phone call w/another friend who just called me. She was upset & I understand but yeah I kept saying sorry I didn’t know. I thought we were on the way to meet up here. She was waiting in her car at the mall & she drive around…it was 30 min & she didn’t know what was going on.

of course I understand & I already kept saying sorry & trying to explain but she cut me off. She kept bringing it up & I told her sorry, kept quiet. I said let’s change subjects but somehow she brought it up again. My sister tried to defend me or help deescalate situation too. My friend joked where’s her gift but I go I have it but can you say sorry? She’s like why do I have to say sorry? Are you gonna say sorry too I’m like I did. She’s like I don’t have the right to be mad? I cried & went to bathroom. I didn’t like she kept saying it over & over when I had already apologized. I don't know am I’m being the sensitive one here?

Updates

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Am I being ridiculous? Am I not valid in feeling like this? That her constant bringing up of the situation made me feel like I’m such a shitty friend even tho I already apologized to her a lot?

[Anonymous]

Communication was bad and you both have a right to be frustrated. I think you picked up on this when you asked her to apologize.

Not only was she partially at fault for making assumptions instead of saying her intentions over the phone, she made you say sorry multiple times and asked for her gift without caring about your feelings.

I think at the end of the day, yes you both could've done things differently but I personally dont want to be friends with someone who handles conflicts like this. especially something as minor as this

[Asker]

Yeah true we both could have done better with communication skills. Should I still try to message her & just explain better? My sister thought she was being really immature like high school.

But I’d like to add my friend is not always like this but I wish she’d be better at handling arguments sometimes. She’d rather cut you off & not hear what you have to say. She’ll just stop you from talking. I don't know what to do.

[Asker]

Thank you for your insight