Why is also being your child's friend criticized so much?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are new parents to our 1 month old baby boy. We've come to an agreement that our parenting style would focus on healthy boundaries, empathy, the child's ability to express themselves, respect and overall the development of a heatlhy child.

We want to treat the child as an individual that deserves respect too. Obviously we'll focus on age appropriate learning. Our style involves positive discipline, which leads towards problem-solving skills, not punishment. Definitely no household objects used as coercion methods (I vowed never to hit my child if I became a mother and I never go back on my words; I always follow through) nor bibles as we're both atheists.

Though it wouldn't be bad to also be the child's friend he can trust too, as long as there are boundaries. Why is also being their friend criticize so much?

[OlderAndWiser]

People who want to be their child's best friend usually neglect teaching the difficult things like self-control, respect for others, and self-discipline. When I go to a restaurant and somebody's kid is running around like a monkey with his butt on fire, I automatically assume that his parents are his best friends and he or she will grow up to live a chaotic life with parents always being there to bail them out.

[NathanDavis]

that baby is just one month old... take it easy... lol

[alli-112]

I think it's just a complicated. Like when it works it can be great but there are a lot of ways people might see it as having failed (ex. failure to be strict, making the child uncomfortable by not maintaining boundaries, etc) but it sounds like you all have good intentions and clear ideas about how you plan to do this, so I wouldn't worry about that part.

[slatyb]

Who's criticizing you?