What do you define yourself by?

It's one thing to say, "I'm going to do this, this and this; and everything will be great." It's another thing to ask, "how am I treating myself today?"

I find myself to be highly self-aware. What I'm doing should be an extension of how I'm feeling or vise versa. The issue is that someone like me can get caught by one or the other. Going through the motions or flat-out exhaustion. I don't like using the word depression because it is described as all or nothing. Despair with cabin fever with doubts with loneliness and the list goes on.

I woke up today with aspirations of what I can do to make my life fun. What's fun to do without friends because anytime I have them the expectations become too much. I figure they'll leave anyway, and it becomes a waiting game. Friends influence how one thinks, your mindset could be better, but when they leave that impression becomes a lie. I'm surrounded by people every day. Yet I have nobody to talk about this to, I think I'm good at reading between the lines and predicting one's actions especially if I know them.

I don't respond to other people's fears; I have enough of my own.

What do you define yourself by?
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