How do you train your child to stand up to bullies?

Question

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

First of all you don't train a child. You teach a child right from wrong. You teach a child that is wrong for people to pick on other people to pick on you. And you do it by communicating in the right way, not by teaching him how to be a bully.
By teaching him disciplined and respect towards himself and other people when my son was 6 years old. I got him in taekwondo. It was one of the best things that I did because he learned discipline. You learn how to fight but it's more about discipline to control yourself. Do you understand when it's the right time to protect yourself or others they have to learn it on their own. You don't train a kid. If you train a kid to be a boy art to do the same thing the boys doing that's the direction they're gonna go in.  Most kids are afraid to stand up for themselves because they don't want to be hit.  If a parent is a child they know it hurts. And they don't want to hurt anybody. That's why you don't discipline a child by hitting them or yelling at them. You communicate with him   So you have to teach the kid principle. My son is now 67" firemen paramedic. Not afraid of anything. I love my life on principle. I'm not afraid of anything or anybody like the bigger they are the harder they fall. And you also have common sense.

jahaims · Accepted Answer

Give them confidence

Greek_goddess_Iris · Accepted Answer

For boy on boy bullying, start something that would make them not want to get close to you. Like... "Are you fucking gay? Why are you always up in my business. You wanna suck my dick or something? I'm not gay like you."

No offense to gay community! This would put an end to straight bully on straight or gay victim.

Or if it's about looks he or she can say, "I might look retarded, but you ARE retarded. My face is fixable, your brain is screwed."

Or for penis insults, "that's not what your mamma told me in bed last night when I pulled out of her."

Or chubby insults. "At least I have an ass and tits, what do you have".

First hit with insults before hitting with a knee or fist.

whereismyjohnny · Accepted Answer

By teaching them confidence, assertiveness and to never take any kind of mistreatment from anyone.

doruk2000 · Answer

Helping your child stand up to bullies is about teaching them both confidence and healthy boundaries. Start by creating an open and safe environment where your child can talk about what’s happening without fear. Listen to their feelings and validate them even a simple “I understand this is hard for you” goes a long way.

Building self-confidence is key. Kids who feel good about themselves are more likely to handle bullying effectively. Encourage them to explore their strengths, whether it’s sports, art, or academics, and celebrate their successes.

Teaching them to assert themselves without being aggressive is just as important. Saying “no,” walking away when needed, or asking an adult for help are practical tools. Role-playing different situations at home can make it easier for them to react calmly and confidently in real life.

Also, work closely with their school. Teachers and administrators can help address bullying and make your child feel supported. Knowing they are not alone gives them courage.

Finally, helping your child develop empathy and problem-solving skills strengthens their emotional resilience. Understanding their own feelings and evaluating others’ behavior allows them to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting out of fear or anger.

In short, standing up to bullies requires emotional support, confidence, boundary-setting, collaboration with adults, and empathy. With patience and consistency, your child can learn to face challenges with strength and awareness.

Seangreen · Answer

My dad told me it like this he said Son don't ever start a fight but then he said to me if somebody starts a fight with you I'm telling you to beat the living shit out of that kid or at least try. One day it happens I was walking home from school got into some kind of argument with some kid from another school and a bunch of kids from my school watched me beat the living shit out of this kid he started it he started it. But all the way through school after that nobody ever really tried to pick on me again and nobody really tried to mess with me too much before that but nobody was going to even take the chance of messing with me after that so you need to give your child permission and assure them that they will not be in trouble with you as long as they didn't start the fight tell them that they have full authority to beat the living shit out of whoever's picking on them but you have to make it clear that the other people have to be physical first otherwise you lose the moral High Ground

Vesuvius87 · Answer

In the future when my son gets older (from age 7) I'll be placing him in martial arts. It would be cool if he were to like my favorite sport, Judo. I practiced it for a year and know some basic things.

Though martial arts isn't about just learning to defend yourself but learning meditation technique, building confidence and self-esteem and most important piece of all, learning to win a fight by staying out of trouble, walk away if possible. You're suppose to also use it to defend yourself if needed.

contentious · Answer

Tell them to say, "Look I know you're a fag, you want to get your asshole ripped, and to get packed that's why you're trying to flirt with me, but I'm not gay so go find another guy. Get lost"... In addition to that teach them how to wrestle/judo so that when the bully inevitably loses their shit, your kid can kick their ass. On top of that buy your kid a fat tip permanent marker and tell him once you choke him out, write "Put Dicks" on his cheeks with arrows pointing toward his mouth, write "Fag" on his forehead, and put a circle around his lips. Then he'll be reminded of what a fag he's being for about a week.

Cormac995 · Answer

This is going to sound crass and potentially stupid, but the right answer is to teach them to teach their bullies a lesson instead. Schools do nothing to stop bullying and most of the time punish both parties even if one was completely nonviolent due to 0 tolerance policies. If the school is going to punish you both equally when you defend yourself than make sure you get you licks in, so the bullies regret it enough, they don't do it again.

Get you kid into a karate or self-defense training program so that when someone is dumb enough to try something they can make him regret it. That's the best way to stand up to bullies. You don't back down you make them regret it and if you can't win you make it so painful on the way that it's not worth the effort. Also fight dirty. If someone starts something with you unprovoked the nuts are fair game in my opinion. I operate under the FAFO doctrine.

Purpleronnie · Answer

Your child has to find the strength within themselves to tackle bullying. It may start at school but it can continue to the workplace and beyond , just different tactics.
Child bullies generally want a reaction , tears or physical fights and they generally focus on the emotionally or physically weak as they see it.

The skill to attempt to teach is the strength to ignore them and deny the power they are attempting to exert of you. Don’t look at them , don’t respond , don’t fight them unless in defense. As a parent though , don’t be the “oh there there it’s ok “ come and give *** a hug , in other words don’t infantilize them. Teach them what the bully wants / needs and how to handle themselves and then how to report. Most of all do it calmly and unemotionally.

Just my thoughts 💭

Effably · Answer

Happened to my little brother. I taught him a proper lowkick and elbow. Made it very clear it is only in defense and not to start anything.

He felt confident again. Eventually it did happen, he kicked the guy. The guy walked funny for a while. It stopped.

It might seem primitive but it comes down to capacity to exert physical ability. As long as that is at a somewhat respectable level, you're fine.

You can do it with words. Make the bully feel cringe or whatever else. That is however much more difficult to ask or a child since they would need the ability to control the feel of a situation.

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

What you need to do is send the kid to boxing classes, or martial arts if you prefer, but I believe boxing to be the best suitable skill for a kid or young adult.

The kid will get confidence through his training. He will spar with peers, he will eventually realize that he could beat the snot out of the bully, so even though he may have to temper down and accept some bullying in the short term, you can give him the tools to survive and even thrive as he ascends into adulthood.

He may at some point have to stand up to the bully, and he'll know when he's ready for that.

blondfrog · Answer

If I ever have kids I will get them started early in mma training or at least wrestling or ji jitsu or both. I got bullied a lot as a kid. And I started lifting weights and started to box a bit. My older brothers would also give me pointers. One regret I had was not getting into mma training when I was a kid. Somebody else can't stand up to bullies for you. Cause when your not there that bully was just pick on you again and make it worse. The only way to stand up to bullies is with physical violence and stand up to them yourself. You also have to threaten them. I kicked this bullies as during lunch in middle school and made sure it was in public so the whole school could see. That way you send a message to everyone else.

DishLady · Answer

You let them face the situation and when they come up to you and tell you what happened you don't RUSH to "save them" but coach them calmly on how to deal with the bullies. You lead by example and show the way YOU handle bullies.  You DO teach them how to defend themselves physically... It's important they know not to start a fight, but equally important they know how to end one.

Dennisjf12 · Answer

You're so wrong, you're assuming that is a one on one fight and your forgetting that the other guy or guys already know how to fight and might be bigger than than your son and that you can instantly teach him how to defend him in self-defense, so unless you're going to start sending & paying for self-defense classes.
Know if he was my son, start by finding out who this kid or kids are and if your son doesn't know their names then you need to get out the school photo book and either go to the school principal or the police. Dennis

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Phoenix98 · Answer

By training teaching them how to fight so that they have the skillet set necessary to defend themselves if they need to.

But it should be made clear to them that what they are being taught is for defense only not to start fights or bully others.

And you should also make it clear that your not going to get upset if they defend themselves from a bully.

AviatorTom · Answer

You don't, that's too late. From a very early age, you teach your child about self-confidence. When they get older and if they are bullied, they will know that's the bully's problem, and they'll just walk away... or defend themselves if the bully gets physical.

aceleon · Answer

literally this words:

''never pick up on anyone, never, but if anyone picks up on you show no mercy or fear, go die there if you must but never bend your neck to anyone''

and i am fully serious, a life where you bended your neck to anyone is not worth having, i'm not a very moral person but this one is one of my fews, you either walk tall with pride on this world on you might as well left it to go lie underground in a coffin, without your pride you are as good as dead.

Kelley1 · Answer

If the bully is a young Mike Tyson, and something similar is often the case, without an equalizer, fighting doesn't work.

Report to the school and file police reports. Go to a doctor or therapist to record negative effects on your child, such as physical injury, depression or anxiety. Then get a restraining order against the bully.

FreyaRed · Answer

A girl needs to be confident, so you teach her how to behave to appear assertive and competitive among girls. A boy needs some Karate training hours to gain confidence in physical contact with other boys. He doesn't need to aim for black belt but at least he won't be afraid if physical confrontation is unavoidable.

KennethNoisewater · Answer

I believe everyone, including girls should learn a martial art. It teaches respect for others and respect for themselves. It teaches discipline. It also teaches you skills that may be needed to defend yourself. Don’t look at it as “just fighting” because it’s not. It’s everything I just said plus some.

exitseven · Answer

I explained to my son that if he let this continue it would keep happening. Then I told him thst when he walked by this kid on the bus to jam his elbow into his ear. It would hurt like hell and not leave a mark.
My speech must have made an impression because the next day when I watched him at the bus stop I saw my son take the kids books and threw them all over the street.

Wiredone · Answer

I told my kids to never let anyone bully them. I told them if they get bullied, do whatever they can to make the bully throw the first swing, then my kids have a right to defend themselves and lay out the bully.

I taught my kids how to defend themselves in any situation.

Anonymous · Answer

Self-defense classes where they train you to build confidence and skills and to try to never have to use them, but if you do, they're there. Classes where the parents can participate are especially useful. The training Felicity gave her daughter on The Americans TV show after she took down that guy in the parking lot was amazing.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Teach them how to fight.

And tell them to always remember that bullies do it because they’re unhappy with themselves or an aspect of their lives. So they bully others to see them become sad so they feel better about themselves

Sal_Monella · Answer

He came to me and asked what he can do. I got him a roll of quarters and showed him how and where to hit. Clench it tight in your fist. You don't hurt your hand that way. Straight up into the nose. Poke his eyes. I told him he had to be quick. No threats. No warning. Just strike fast and hard like a snake. If he has a crew, hurt him badly and run before they realize what happened. They will be tending to him. They will be looking for you later, so stay out of the way.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

Bullies are dumb. So make your kid smart (enough) and early (enough). When the time comes, he/she will know what to do... and what not to.

foxsquirrell · Answer

If he has that look of a nerd, easy picking almost asking to be bullied and picked on kind of look its going to be very difficult to not get bullied! He would be like sending out waves of some sort to attract bullying. Its more of the environment which you can fix. Like sending him to a school with nerd looking kids like him.

Anonymous · Answer

I'll tell you how my dad handled it. He said ignore thier words. But if they put thier hands on you, you f***ing END them. You fight them and you win. Because if not you're going to have to come home and fight me.

I'm not saying it was the best thing to tell a child, but it worked. I only lost one fight and that's cause the guy knocked me out. That was pretty much my last fight after that.😆

Nikki1989 · Answer

Emotional support, practical skills, and consistent reinforcement. You can't just tell a child to stand up for themselves; you have to empower them with the tools and confidence to do so effectively.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

You give them permission to do harm. You tell them they’re allowed to punch them or kick them and when the school punishes them, you make sure to reward them

Jackblue · Answer

Tell him/her to tell a teacher. The not snitching rule makes sense when it doesn't affect you, but not when you or someone else is being bullied.

dustybiker2 · Answer

Taekwondo. The instructor tends to have the best influence.

fivebyfour · Answer

Learn a martial art, not for fighting/hitting others but it gives kids inner confidence,,,

OneViewpoint · Answer

Teach them to deliver a lesson about consequences to the bully. Asymmetric response and escalation.

Meatballs · Answer

Try to teach him to not tolerate it to stand your grounds and if someone lays a pinky on you... You have my full permission to beat the living shit outta the kid and remind him there's more if you want some more...

jshm2 · Answer

You don't. They need to deal with it their own way - else they will expect you to help them every time.

DonaldDarko · Answer

Get him lifting and training, he's got to do the hard work. Once he's fit enough and skilled enough he'll know what he can do.

leahzrc · Answer

I would say just cry about it or stick up for yourself by insulting them or they can tell me the kid and I will tell the parent if I cared

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Two simple methods, first is to stand up against his bullies and second is to never remain silent about it!

SunnyCaliGirl · Answer

Train your kids that their voice matters and to fight back if they have been hit 1st

Iron_Man · Answer

Through weight training and self-defense boxing? 🥊 I will teach him to be a man and an athlete if I had a child

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Tell them to defend themselves. Bullies at their core are soft if you just challenge them and once you challenge them they back off.

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

To quote Marilyn Manson use your fist not your mouth.

Vegasrunner · Answer

The answers to these questions illustrates why fathers are so important in the household.

Wise4myage · Answer

I would enroll them into some sort of self defense class like Karate.

SoccerPlayer99 · Answer

Never start the fight but make sure they finish it.

AngryCarl2 · Answer

Teach them to be self-reliant. They'll be fine. Or they won't.

seeyounexttuesday · Answer

Never start a fight, but always finish a fight.

Staximus · Answer

You teach them, not train them. What you train them to do is learn how to fight

qwerty2469 · Answer

I train my kids to bully. Its the pinnacle of success. Without bullying losers win.

Anonymous · Answer

They would practice martial arts, so bullies wouldn't dare to touch them.

Anonymous · Answer

Teach them how computers and databases work. Teach them which criminal codes result in prison time for minors.

Anonymous · Answer

Martial arts bully the bully back or (and i don't advise this) but show kindness

blackeagle007 · Answer

Never back down

Anonymous · Answer

I will make him bully...

How do you train your child to stand up to bullies?

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How should parents handle their kids being bullied especially physically?

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