Am I being selfish?

[Nicholas1302]

You all probably know the story, but I'll tell it again for those who don't. My aunt and I moved into a mobile home i own 7 months ago. She moved from a travel trailer. I moved from my moms. My aunt has mobility issues, along with other things. Its ALWAYS something. She just lays in her bed and complains all day. It's driving me insane. I try my best not to go out in the loving quarters when she his, because she wants to talk and talk about how shitty she feels, and how shitty her life is. My mom offered for me to move back to her place. I told my aunt this today, and she was like "what am I supposed to do? I can't take care of myself". I said "if you legitimately believe you can't take care of yourself, then you need to go to a nursing home". She said before that she'll never go to a nursing home. I don't know what else to tell her, and I was just gonna let her figure it out. I know she can, but it'll add a LOT of stress to her life. Am I being an ass?

[Purpleronnie]

In a sense I’m thinking you probably should have seen this as a possibility before she moved in with you 7 months ago , but maybe your were “trying” to do the right thing , or at least you never thought it would be such a drain on you or affect you the way it seems to have. So , let me say firstly there is no shame in just being wrong ! , and admitting that to yourself firstly , but additionally your mom if you want to be transparent assuming you agree.


It’s not selfish for wanting to live differently , and not be your aunts carer. Perhaps she is being selfish expecting you to prop her up especially as it does not need to be you , she isn’t saying she needs you , she saying she can’t or more likely won’t.


You need to face it head on with her and tell her what your feeling , explain your indecision , that your care for her and desire to support her is at odds with what you need and you want for yourself.


Should she not see that , then I think she is more selfish than you could ever be accused of in this situation and it’s time to move her on.