Am I being selfish?

[Anonymous]

Recently my boyfriend has been very distant lately and off, I haven't been getting a lot of intimate stuff either I understand when guys get stressed they back off certain things but since I see that I've been trying to help with with firewood and selling firewood and stuff mind u I'm his girlfriend and I don't hardly ask for anything no money, I just want his attention and love bc he's a very hard person to love, he doesn't like affection much, so I'll do whatever I can to get some type of affection from him, meaning making food, washing clothes helping him etc. So he said that to show appreciation he would buy me a chainsaw, when he said that it has made me feel like I'm not his girlfriend I'm his either child or coworker and I don't know if I'm being selfish bc I don't want him spending his money on something I'm never gunna use for myself, I only use a chainsaw to help him, and I don't want to tell him bc everything I say something he thinks I'm trying to start an argument or I'm being annoying or a bitch when I'm just trying to describe how I'm feeling and what he sees but lately I've been feeling like a coworker and used more then a girlfriend trying to help her boyfriend so he can relax and not get overly aggressive. Am I wrong?

[JacobJordan]

If you want to communicate with him in a way that actually makes him receptive you need to learn HOW to communicate with someone you love and you don't do that by saying crap like "when you" or "can you" how YOU feel is YOUR decision. So if you want to communicate talk about YOU not him. That should solve the "thinks I am starting an argument" as for the are you being selfish to be upset at getting a chainsaw. Yes. Not sure why you felt the need to clarify that you are helping him but only a girlfriend. If you expect any man to marry you before you do jack shit to help him you are out of touch with reality. The entire way men decide if a woman is worth marrying is if the woman can put him before herself even if that means she has to help him with random things. Lose the "but I'm just a girlfriend he is getting wife treatment" bullshit. If you want to be a wife act like a wife. If you want to be a girlfriend act like a girlfriend. You are helping him and he is showing his appreciation by getting you a chainsaw. Now if you want intimacy why don't you start? If you do and he rejects you then you have a chance to communicate about your needs in a way that doesn't make it his fault. If you make it his fault he won't give a damn he will be defensive.

[laly520]

the dynamic doesn't seem to work on long term

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

No. Your boyfriend seems like a moron.

[Anonymous]

To be frank, yes, you are selfish.

[HouseMoat]

Yeah