Am I being selfish?

[avony12]

I’m currently with my boyfriend of 3 months and it’s now Valentine’s Day. Ever since we began dating we haven’t had a single date or outing. I was hoping today we could go out but he has yet to even plan anything. All I have gotten was a ‘Happy Valentine’s Day.” I tried booking something for us a week before but when I’d ask him if he’s free he’d never answer fully. He’ll say he’s still grieving from a lost in his family member. And I understand that but it feels like he’s pushing me away and all I want is to be there for him. I want to give him space but he doesn’t communicate anything. I feel like I’m left in the dark. Am I being selfish for feeling lonely?

[Anonymous]

I think you’re settling and can do a lot better. I used to be in relationships with guys like yours, and it took being with the man I’m with now to realize how low I was setting the bar for myself, just like you. Wanting to go out on a date or hangout some place besides the house is not selfish, but you may tell yourself it is in order to accommodate his actions as a boyfriend. It’s also not selfish to want to celebrate Valentine’s Day, so don’t talk yourself into thinking that it is. If you know that you’d put some effort into the holiday then you shouldn’t accept a guy who doesn’t match your energy.

[LazerBean]

3 months is a very long time for things to be that way. I think it's pretty safe to say he probably just isn't that interested.

[TonyV]

You sound kind of clingy for only been dating 3 short months, you're gonna push him away.

[Guy13]

I would have been out of that arrangement after a month...