Do you think a child should have a relationship with their dad if their dad abused their mom?

[Foxylady24]

Updates

5 mo

Like my situation my child father slap me, spit on my face and choke me in a argument while our son watching and he start to cry when he saw that

[ohsheeT]

I think that is only up to you.

If you do it , don't allow them to put you in a position to where you have to pick sides , because that's bull sheet.

But if you haven't been around your father , you need to be around him

If you\nHave questions, ask if not just be quiet? And they will tell you in their own way

Don't allow them to put you in a position to where you're going to have to pick sides and defend this is not about them , this is about you and who you are

No matter what you are the boss of you.

If they start acting or doing something that you don't like leave , you don't need any explanation , just leave or if you want to leave an explanation , do it , but make it honest one hundred percent honest the truth , you can show them who you are for not having them in your life

You have become with or without them.

I Grew up not knowing who my dad was. I always wanted to meet him because I wanted to know who I was after I met him. I knew who I did not want to be

Now I'm not saying anything that are negative against him because he's a good man. I just realized who I didn't want to be. That's all, it's not a big deal. I went through deeper hell than that. But you definitely need to find out who you are.\nAnd you judge the way you want to judge , he will prove himself to you one way or the other you just have to be quiet and listen , take it all in you don't need to argue he's wrong or he's right

You might open up a door inside of him that he might see the light and maybe change who knows, but it's all up to you and what you want, nobody else\nWhatever you do, just don't get into any arguments or anything like that. Just walk away

[ohsheeT]

Well it sounds like you are split up and it's for the best

I can understand you not wanting your son around that I feel the same way. All kids need both parents in there lives. I can't tell you what to do it's a hard decision

When a kid sees that kind of stuff every other day , that's who that kid grows up to be , like , because they think that is the normal , they think , that's how you treat your girlfriend or your wife and you don't want your kid to do that

The other thing is if the father has a girlfriend. It's just a matter of time before.\nHe gets angry and does the same thing to her. Not. Unless something that happened that has changed his life, his ways, blah blah blah, I doubt that's happened yet, so now you're put in another boat. You don't want your kids around that c*** And if father cannot understand that well, that's just tough, that means she does not care or he's in denial.

[Gobbyjobby52]

They should be very wary and unless the dad also then abuses the daughter in some way (definitely if they are physically abusive to the child and mother) then stay away. If the dad is unstable and the child is still a child then its in the best interest of the child to not be in the proximity of someone who could be physically harmful and call police and services as soon as possible. It's not really all or nothing as some people can be horrible to other people but still have warmth for their own children and children in general but yeah, be careful and keep an eye on the context of the father's abuse and the child's age and risks.

[DishLady]

No.
1. The guy has a problem if he hits/abuses women.
2. Children grow up thinking it's ok for women to be hit/abused.
3. If he'll hit/abuse anyone else in his path.

There's no excuse for it.

[Simslover92]

Absolutely not. My father abused my mother and she kept me from him and rightfully so. It would have been only a matter of time he would have abused me to. He sexually abused my sister.

[Chazmatazz269]

Dads should have relationships with their children no matter what. It’s almost impossible to remove a mother’s parenting rights. It should be exactly the same for fathers. Women abuse men all the time and nobody even thinks about taking the kids away from the mother.
Hell, there are cases in which mothers murdered one or more of their kids and didn’t lose custody of their remaining children. Is that awesome or what?
If he isn’t abusive toward the children, he should have at least 50% custody and his full parental rights and responsibilities. If he has been abusive toward the children, supervised visits and mandatory counseling until he gets his poop in a group.

[Simslover92]

I highly disagree. My father abused my mother and abused his wife. And then sexually abused my sister years later. He's a sick man and not many men who are capable of abusing a woman should be allowed to have rights to the children because it may continue with them in some way.

[Chazmatazz269]

There’s absolutely no evidence that a person who abuses their partner will necessarily also abuse their kids. Just the opposite, actually, since the majority of abusive relationships are mutually abusive. Also, the crux of my point is that women get to retain their parental rights no matter what they do to their partners. It’s unconstitutional and immoral to take fathers’ rights away when we wouldn’t do the same to their mothers.

[egan3141]

Not enough context. How old are they? How old were they when he was around? What kind of abuse did he do?

Here's a reason for yes:
The child will not truly understand what a bad person is if they do not see a bad person. Maybe they only see him from the other side of glass and talk without physical contact, or anything in between that and visiting his home, but it is only by being around him that they can truly learn how to recognize that bad behavior and avoid it. If all you do is tell them how bad he is, they will never gain any real experience.

[Lliam]

No. There needs to be a restraining order and zero visitation rights. He's a psycho. He would try to poison the child against the mother or, worse yet, he might steal or abuse the child. There is no telling what a guy like that might do.

[abc3643]

What sort of abuse?

If
1) the father is not a threat to the child
and
2) there is no restraining order in place between the parents
then the father should have a relationship and access rights to the child.

[OlderAndWiser]

The answer depends on whether the father is likely to also abuse the child and, if not, whether you want to withhold visitation with the child to punish the father (and, of course, that also punishes the innocent child.)

[sage2021]

If the child's father abused the mother it's too risky to give him any access to the child. Ever heard of child abuse?

[Drumlin2001]

If someone genuinely is a threat physically or mentally to the child they should have their access restricted. But that goes for men and women. Plenty of abusive women out there who keep custody when not really in child's best interest

[LazerBean]

Children should not have relationships with abusive adults.

[NoDecision]

No, because it will only be a matter of time before he starts abusing the child too.

[itsannalee]

Just access to see the kid, yeah… if the kid wants it. But that also only if dad financially supports the kid.

[FreyaRed]

Depend if "the dad" abused them as well

[WhitneySnow]

Only if he’s a different person now. And probably not before they’re 18.

[WhitneySnow]

Absolutely your son should not have a relationship with his father until he is much older and can make that choice for himself. Call Child Protective Services in your state and report this immediately. They will file the necessary paperwork in court to restrict your baby daddy’s visitation rights.

[Anonymous]

Did he officially abuse her? Or is that just her claim? There's a huge difference between the two.

If he actually abused her than HOPEFULLY the child learns that's no way to be and cuts him out of the child's life.

[Anonymous]

A man can be a horrible husband but a good dad ik it's hard for people to understand that and it doesn't excuse the man hitting the woman

[Ariesman81]

90% of the time it's because the woman used the children as a weapon.

[Dina88]

Not because they could cause the child or children to learn to do so in their relationship, whether as the victim or the perpetrator.

[jahaims]

Do you think a child should be influenced by an abuser? Use common sense

[Nikki1989]

Absolutely not.

[Awantika03]

How dad absue mom

[Foxylady24]

Choking her and slapping her and pull a knife out on her

[Awantika03]

V bad

[AngryCarl2]

I wouldn't recommend it.

[Agape93]

Nope

[In_Trance]

You have to put some context behind that

[Darklydarkened]

Yes they should

[Evsisa]

No I don’t.

[Anonymous]

No..