Why do some parents turn kids against the other parent after divorce?

[Paradiseequeen]

Brother in t-rex

Both videos below are my brother in T-Rex costume. I think these are funny videos! I’m the bad person today to the world. His now ex wife wants me to pay for him not wanting her. I am being pulled in between two people. His ex wife doesn’t want my niece speaking to my other sister as well. She is still trying to hold on to my brother. I’m not sure why there are women like this.

She doesn’t want other family members speaking to me. She wanna make everyone look bad while she looks good. The kids are not allowed to be around other family members. He’s not allowed to be around the kids unless my oldest niece is with them or he comes around her. This all started with my brother getting his dream job in the military. She wasn’t supportive of him at all. She enjoyed throwing him under the bus. She tells me that he doesn’t do for their children the way he does for my niece.

Thirteen years of marriage and now they are divorced. The kids are now being used as weapons. iPads are taken away from them when he calls them. She has blocked me on the iPad and cell phone. She refused to improve her life so she can afford to care for 3 children. She wants his military income while she parties. She even moved out the house and into her auntie house, then hotel. My brother wasn’t allowed in any birthday photos with the kids. My other sister wasn’t allowed in the photos as well.

I wasn’t allowed at the party. I’m tired of her wanting the world to dislike me. She treats me like trash. She sees someone speaking to me and instantly messages them to stop speaking to me. My niece is being pulled between two people, the ex wife and her birth mom. I’m on good terms with my niece mom. This created drama. She wants the world to speak to her while she makes me look like trash to people. She tell the kids that my brother doesn’t care for them. The middle son thinks his father doesn’t care for him.

T-Rex part 2

[ohsheeT]

Because the parent doing so is so selfish and stupid

Because as they are doing this and actually destroying their child what happens is in the long run the child finds out about it finds out how evil they were to try to make the other parent look bad in all reality

when it all comes down to it when it's all said and done the child grows up to hate that parent and usually never forgives that parent for all the time that the other parent didn't get to see them or were made to look different and the truth of it is there was only one evil person

And that was the parents trying to make their child believe something that was a lie but the truth will always come out

This happen to me and I always told my ex-wife to stop he's going to grow up to hate you

Day in and day out anything that she could do to me she would do it and then she would play look your dad's in jail because of this or because of that he's a bad guy.

My son would come to me and say Dad what is going on what happened and I would tell him when you turn 18 I will tell you but not till then at 17 he still asking me I said if you want to know everything that happened go talk to your grandparents your aunts and uncles from her side they will tell you the truth if they are going to be honest he said you just tell me that I said no I can't I said there's a reason for it I said I will tell you when you're 18

So he went to his grandparents he went to his aunts and uncles they told him the truth one day his mother calls me up and tells me to come and get him he's out of control he's yelling screaming so I get there and I say what's going on and she says he thinks this and he saying that and I told you your father was bad look at what he told you and my son said dad now I understand why you told me you couldn't tell me you are a genius you knew this was going to happen didn't you my son says mom my dad didn't tell me anything it was your mom and dad it was your brother and sister that told me everything my dad told me he could not tell me until I was 18 he would not tell me because he knew there was something going to happen and this is it right now dad you are so smart my dad didn't tell me anything it was your parents

And I just looked at her and I said I told you I told you when you first started this crap 17 years ago this is what's going to happen and look my son said I hate you Mom I knew my dad was good I knew my dad would never do that any of what you said

I just looked at her shook my head and I told my son let's go you're going to come spend the night at my house

So for any evil parents out there that are trying to brainwash their kids the truth will always come out stop it you're destroying your kids it changes who they are in life when this happens when you have a child you're supposed to make it a hundred times better person than you are so stop there's no reason why two people can't get along and make it about the child

Your relationship it didn't work there's a reason for it It doesn't even matter You accept it and move on You don't hate each other you don't Talk bad about each other You're trying to teach your child something Show your child How to love By the way you treat each other Otherwise They're going to get into a relationship and they're going to treat their partner just like The hate that's going on between two people Stop You destroying your kids

[Finchie40]

Because they are toxic people that can’t take accountability for their own selfish actions or behavior, so they try to manipulate the kids’ into believing they are the good parent and the other is not to make themselves feel better about themselves. My ex wife tried doing this to me when we split , but thankfully my kids’ saw right through her mental illness and diidn’t listen to her at all and now my kids’ can’t stand her and they don’t really spend time with her at all. They still love her but they know she needs serious mental help. My ex tries to play a victim every chance she gets and goes ballistic when she doesn’t get her way , she is like a bratty spoiled child not a mature adult when she doesn’t get her way. It’s like she is jealous over her own children which is pathetic to me. Even though my ex tries to make me the bad guyall the time. I still tell the kids’ that she loves them and that she needs help because underneath my exes mental illness she is a sweet caring girl , but her mental illness isn’t whatsoever

[sage2021]

My parents were divorced when I was only 5 years old.

My Mom only told me the truth about that man. She didn't try to turn me against him. When he started a brand new family and never paid his child support I drew my own conclusions about him.

My 1/2 brothers have a completely different relationship with him. My father didn't think it was masculine to produce girls but he produced 2 of them.

He finally got his wish for son's with his new family.

They lived in a brand new 2-story house, drove expensive cars, and ate very well.

My Mom and my sister and myself had many times without any food in the house. Because he didn't pay his child support.

I hope that your family will draw their own conclusions about your brother.

Sometimes it's best to see people with your own eyes 👁️ 👁️ and draw their own conclusions about their father.

I hope that he's paying his child support though.

[sage2021]

Thank you for the MHO 🙂🧡

[Nikki1989]

For many, divorce is a deep personal rejection. If a parent hasn't processed their anger, betrayal, or grief, they may view their ex-spouse as a "villain." They project these feelings onto the child because they lack the emotional boundaries to separate their role as an ex-partner from their role as a co-parent.

[AviatorTom]

Some people after a divorce want to punish their partner, That's usually the ex-wife, and she uses their children as weapons against her ex-husband. Sad, but true.

When I was finalizing my amicable divorce, waiting outside the courtroom, I overheard a woman yelling and screaming at her ex-husband, making all kind of statements about their children and how he will have little to do with them. It was sad, really sad. Even my divorce lawyer made a negative comment about it, and she thanked me for doing our divorce peacefully and amicably.

[Tiptoetamm]

So my situation is a little bit different. My mother left my biological father when I was six months old and remarried when I was six they were together for 17 years when they did get divorced I was 18. My stepdad is the only father I know so in my heart he’s just my dad and he’ll always be my dad, but he did turn me against my mother. My mother did the same and honestly, I think it’s fear of losing that person because they feel threatened by that particular family member or ex or whatever. Personally, I just think it’s jealousy and fear based behavior

[REDBRA36c]

So that they don’t face the truth of their own actions to take responsibility for and instead cast all the blame on the other.


I don’t know personally, but my general perception in conjunction with records is that wives make up 70% the initiators in divorces and demanded full custody and force the husband to respond by having to fight an uphill battle automatically favoring the mothers versus the fathers.


More and more men avoid marriage because of statistically having a 30% chance of the marriage lasting all of his life and not wishing to sacrifice his whole life and go bankrupt with nothing in return.

[molonski2]

Honestly it horrendous when people do things like this and it happens all the time , it was the one thing I didn't have to worry about in divorce ( although there were many other parenting issues ) but managed to co parent 50/50 for nearly 20 years.

Sorry to hear of this circumstance.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Honestly, everything made sense when you told me he was in the military. That particular career has more divorce rates than any other because they don’t care who they marry as long as it brings them instant pleasure and gets them out of the barracks. Nobody has to like her, but he didn’t marry her because she was good wife material.

[jshm2]

Depends. Could be they don't want the kid to think they were responsible. Or they want the kid to be their proxy to get back at the other parent.

Some people can be very defensive, and these sorts are the type who will turn everyone they can to pity them. Others are very aggressive, and try to weaponize everybody.

Personally, I find that as soon as people start talking about another person, and they have a vested interest, then they are not to be taken at their word.

[HighValue]

By far it is mostly women that do stuff like that. There are two common reasons.

1. They want their ex to be miserable, even if she is at fault for the divorce, which is usually the case.

2. She wants child support money, which means she needs majority custody, and in many states once the kid is 12 years old, they can choose which parent to live with so the mother often lies to turn the kid against the dad so she can get checks.

[AMS700CX4u2]

Seen it hundreds of times. Revenge is the motive. No one estimates the damage it will do to the children. How many of them will choose to live an alternate life style because they don't want a relationship like mom and dads.

[HawkPerception]

I feel like it's mostly women that do this.

Men Vs Women Divorce

[Ariesman81]

It's parental alienation. The highest form of narcissistic behavior in parenting. Usually stemming from a high level of insecurity, most usually of a perceived loss.

[Drumlin2001]

Cause women are selfish and only want what's best for themselves

[Bklynbadboy12]

Cause they are asshole trying to hurt one another and using the kids to do it. They know that their soon to be ex spouse doesn't care about them but they love their child so they use the child to hurt them

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Because kids reperesent the grass roots. It's just like how corporate or activists manipulate the naive youth or any agendas because brainwashing kids = brainwashing the new generations.

[msc545]

This is always about money on the part of the woman who gets the child support. The less time the child spends with the other parent and the more time he spends with her the more money she's awarded.

[Tiptoetamm]

I wouldn’t say it’s always about money sometimes it’s about control and power you know what I mean

[genericname85]

well cause if they liked their ex partner, they'd still with them.

[Anonymous]

Because most adults are children themselves…

[jahaims]

They were too immature for a relationship as well as parenting

[Marissa7]

It’s probably to try to get brownie points to hurt people.

[Anonymous]

I know someone exactly like that same exact personality as you described

[Anonymous]

No point speculating about other people's relationship

[Unycorn]

Because they are selfish and vindictive.

[exitseven]

divorces are a nasty business.

[Anonymous]

Because they are selfish.