Why do divorced parents permit their kids to sponge off of the divorced parent?

I am in my 60's. Recently a lady in my age range reached out to me on a popular dating website. She states she has given up on meeting a quality person on any dating website. She asserts that the men are 'nothing but scammers'. I've known her since Labor Day 2023. In that short time I've witnessed the following.

A) One of her two sons sons lives with her - reason - he is divorced. At least he pays some rent (not even half) but dominates the place as if it is his to run. Mom is on the lease and officially paying the rent.

B) The other son lives on his own and seems to be stable. Haven't seen any mouching out of him.

C) The youngest child (long since legal age girl) bats for the other team and thinks nothing of taking her mothers' property; or calling mom when there is a calamity that mom then fixes with moms money. Mom pays her rent, and when the daughters' car recently malfunctioned, mom paid for the fix AND rented a car for the daughter while the car was in the repair shop. The car overheated due to hole in the radiator. I don't know anymore than that.

I've not asked her for a thing, not money, nor taken anything she didn't offer (meals). We've shared meals about 50%. I am kind and polite with no negative words coming out of my mouth. She states I over explain things, but she also has no problem doing the same herself. I can already tell that there is no having a discussion as to how she permits her children to 'play her'.

As an aside, the previous girlfriend had the same issue, that is the youngest child - a full grown daughter and married with infant - convinced her mom to permit her (the daughter) to move into Mom's house. Furthermore - Mom had to convert the her own garage into a grandmother suite.

I get I've attracted these two girlfriend's in my examples. 1) Is this 'par for the course' today? 2) What am I missing that I don't see in the women of today that would otherwise indicate a 'Red Flag'.

I don't have ANY of this happening in my life or home.

Why do divorced parents permit their kids to sponge off of the divorced parent?
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