How can I gently tell a choir friend I’m not gay without hurting her?

[MissSunshine2]

So I went out to make friends, find a hobby and try to meet men. Instead, I met a woman who seems to be a lesbian. At first I thought she was just being friendly. Then I saw her checking me out, lighting up around me and wanting to catch the bus with me. So we could spend more time together.

I have the impression that she thinks I’m a lesbian and she might be trying to hit on me. I misinterpreted her interest as friendliness and her comment about most men in the choir group being married. When I said it worked for me, I wasn’t hinting at being gay. I was saying that I wasn’t only there to hit on men.

[Hunter-40m]

You should be direct but gentle at the same time there is no way of saying it without disappointing it hurting her the truth itself will hurt for sure

[MissSunshine2]

You’re right. The fact is that I’m not and never will be gay.

[Hunter-40m]

Yeah and you should inform her about this fact sooner or later

[MissSunshine2]

Yes, I agree.

[Hunter-40m]

Thanks for the most helpful answer 👍

[Iron_Man]

don’t let anybody hit on you tell her right to her face that you’re not gay. I don’t care what she thinks she’s not being respectful

[ArrowheadSW]

Well, it sounds like she really hasn't outright hit on you yet. Just that it somewhat seems that way. You might fit into a conversation your relationship with past boyfriends or a current guy that you might be interested in. She'll get the point most likely.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

She probably already knows you’re not interested. Trust me, gay people have a better gaydar than anyone.

[Jennz6]

Since I’m bisexual, I have also met a few lesbian girls. I just tell them that I’m bi and I also want relationships with men. I never said anything to hurt their feelings. I think I was gentle enough. Just tell her the truth.

[jazzy34]

Do you know for a fact that she's a lesbian or are you just assuming?

[MissSunshine2]

I’m pretty sure, as she acts around me the exact same way I act around cute guys.

[jazzy34]

Don’t make assumptions.

[jazzy34]

*Only say something If she actually tries to a move on you. She may be lonely and needs a friend. Be that friend.

[OlderAndWiser]

Next time you are with her, start talking about the cute guy you met and how he asked you for a date, and light up like you are on fire to go out with him. She'll get the idea.

[AngryCarl3]

Tell her you like men, you have a boyfriend, you're married. You have five kids and you want more.

[Anonymous]

Have you done anything sexual with her or kissed?

[MissSunshine2]

Nope 🙂

[Opinion Owner]

Then I think she knows where you stand

[whosnumber_1]

Just tell her straight up. Simple as that. Your awesome - I'm not gay.

[Marissa4]

Tell her you're flattered but your straight and not interested in women.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Just tell her the truth that won't hurt her you just being honest and as you already know honesty is the best policy!!!😉😉😉

[WhitneySnow]

You need to be straight up with her

[exitseven]

Start talking about all your ex boyfriends.