Family & Friends
2 mo

How do I cope with my controlling mom while grieving my sister?

My siblings and i were raised by our grandparents, my mom worked in the city and we only saw her a handful of times. In year 6 she (my mother) took my sister to live with her and a year later my cousin and I went to live with my aunt, I was in year 10 in the city, 8 hours from where the three of us used to live. Obviously my sister would be closer to our mother than myself, that's how I think and feel. After a few years my sister passed from cancer. I can't help but feel like our mother is trying to turn me into my sibling, it's suffocating and I can't stand her. Our sp3rm donor was a dead beat, he couldn't even chip in to bury my sister, but this woman is always talking about him, talking about how his family used Voodoo on him so that he doesn't marry her, I don't know what it's called but you can clearly see she likes the thought of being abused, beaten and cheated on, contracting aids. She doesn't want to better herself, she carries herself like an old grandma and sometimes I wish I was the one in that grave 🪦. Her breathing, when she speaks, her complains drigger so MUCH in me. She makes everything about her and she's controlling, I can't stand it. It infuriates me as well. You can't have a conversation with her without her making it about her.

I'm dealing with my own things and hearing "you're too strong" and "you have to be strong for your mom" is exhausting 😔 because I have to be strong for myself but I can't because it's selfish and prideful.

How do I cope with my controlling mom while grieving my sister?
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