As a parent, do you prioritize your child's relationships as much as education?

[Anonymous]

I mean we parents want our child to go to college

But also have a girlfriend, boyfriend?

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Prioritize their relationships? Do you mean ensuring they are in one or preventing them from having one?

The reason I ask is that my kids are 11 and 13. My wife has been more strict with them saying they can't date until they are older while I say 13 is fine to start dating. That's when I had my first girlfriend and I turned out fine. That's about where we are in preventing a relationship.

Now I would NEVER say that they HAD to date at all, get married, or even have kids. That's their choice completely and it's not my job or right to force it.

[Asker]

Ensuring they are in one

[Asker]

I just mean, getting past that awkward phase of knowing what to do
Getting to fourth base

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Ill explain sex but no way will I compel them to have it

[Asker]

Hmmm
Crossed wires again

[Asker]

We can't compel them obviously
But we can dissuade them
Some parents would prioritize education
Thinking there's plenty of time later for relationships

[emeraldsaphire]

Well my daughter is a bit to young to have a boyfriend yet lol but I think both are important. We are doing everything we can to help her in both areas.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

It's not really that her relationships was a priority, it's more that it would have been weird from me to prevent her from going for relationships.

I mean experiencing feelings, first kisses, emotions, romantic affection etc. It all just looks normal development for me. At any age. As I was raised myself so I didn't even question the option of stopping or discouraging her because there was simply no good or legitimate reason to do that

[exitseven]

No, i got on them t an early age that they were going to a good college and they were going to major in something that was in demand. As a result my 3 kids all make more money than I do.

[Asker]

Okay so that's the education
What about relationships

[exitseven]

They had the freedom to make their own mistakes. And they did.

[Asker]

See that's what I mean
As parents we have responsibility to help them in that department

My parents felt... Education career
That was their responsibility. Everything else, let me choose.
Actually my mother discouraged relationships. In fear they would take over. Pregnancy maybe.
See my point?

[exitseven]

Yes, fortunately I never got pregnant.

[Asker]

I'm trying to explain she tried put us off relationships
For fear we might get a girl pregnant

[exitseven]

I never even got to first base

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you decode relationships, love, and all the messy human stuff in between 💘

As a dad, I care about both, but in different ways. I don’t “prioritize” my daughter having a boyfriend, but I totally prioritize her learning what healthy love looks like.

Education builds her future.
Relationships shape her self-worth, boundaries, and how she’ll love and be loved.

So I focus on emotional intelligence, communication, red flag awareness, consent, and self-respect.
If she gets those right, love and college can both fall into place without drama, ghosting, or toxic heartbreak overload 😏

[Zionne]

it's actually really helpful when a child has inspiration while doing studies... but when it affects their schooling they should know when to stop from it

[Asker]

What you mean, stop from it

[Anonymous]

Depends on how old the child is. 🤣 i remember the love of my life had fumes coming out of her ears (almost literally) when she was talking about her daughters having boyfriends. 🤣 at times i thought she was going to blow a gasket. I sat there thinking they're kids still in grade school and just holding hands BUT i don't dare tell her that

[Opinion Owner]

She was on the deep end when her daughters in grade school had boyfriends 🤣 i sure as fuck didn't want to get in that mess with how angry she was. Lord knows i didn't want to face her wrath especially when it was something as minor as hand holding and grade school love or crushes between two kids

[Abbycado]

Not a parent, but my parents certainly prioritize my education over my relationship status.

[Asker]

That's my experience exactly

And to my detriment

I mean I was a disaster in terms of relationships

But that's only in hindsight

As I ruined every relationship my parents kept encouraging my education

I am very angry towards them

At the same time I bear the responsibility. It's my own fault.

I only have myself to blame

[Abbycado]

Well, mine are not pushy or anything. They just believe in education first and social life second.

They have absolutely no problem with me having a boyfriend since I consistently have good grades. We have been together for almost two years.

We both focus on school when we need to, even if that means sacrificing time together. Not much different now in the summer where we are an hour drive apart and have summer jobs.

[Asker]

Yes fair enough
I can't "blame"my parents necessarily
But education/career was important
Having a girlfriend wasn't
Now I'm not saying they stopped me
But just I think I needed a push in that direction
It's hard to explain

[Asker]

Here's an example, my mother used to tell us two boys
(There were two girls as well)
that sex was for when we loved a girl
That we should only have sex with a girl we loved
My father other hand never said anything

[Abbycado]

Ah, yeah so a push and encouragement/support for a relationship when you’re young is nice. I certainly had the support after meeting my boyfriend.

[Asker]

What I mean is
I had several relationships
Which were never encouraged
And never got past 3 base until l was 21
Okay that's not to old
But I was nearly 22

[Abbycado]

I waited until 19 for my first time. That’s not exactly typical these days. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Asker]

Exactly
I waited to nearly 22
Sad

[Ariesman81Nshiiit]

Daughter... Diploma then prioritize relationships

Son... Diploma, career, then relationships

[Asker]

Ah interesting
That's probably most parents
Mine too
I followed their advice
But I regret that now
I guess I do have a good job
Maybe I take that for granted
But my social life was difficult

[jahaims]

I don't want my kids to go to college and don't care if they don't date when they are older

[Asker]

You don't care?

[Hunter-40m]

Education comes first

[Anonymous]

I'm not a parent yet...