Should you prioritize your partner or your children in a relationship?

Question

In my opinion, usually it would be better to prioritize the partner in the scope of providing an harmonious and united couple of parents to the children.

My wife and I usually prioritize each other BUT without neglecting our children although when the situation calls it we put the kids first. So far it has been working well and our marriage didn't strain like I saw happening in other couples that I know after children (my sister, for example).

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Your partner should be your top priority , and yes your kids’ are a priority as well, but they should never come before your spouse unless it’s dire straits emergency , but other than that , your partner should always come first. When you put your kids’ before your spouse or partner , all you are doing is teaching your kids’ that it’s ok to be disrespectful to their partner one day , teaching them that it’s ok to put your partner on the back burner. Kids’ adapt better having 2 parents’ that love and choose each other always , because if not , your kids’ can turn out to be complete assholes and disrespectful to you and your partner by you prioritizing them over your partner teaching them that they will always get their way and never be told No , Sadly why a lot of people today are selfish and don’t know what the word No Means , or don’t know what being respectful means So by you and your partner making each other your top priority , you are teaching your kids’ to be respectful and well mannered. So many couples that I have met that prioritize the kids’ over their partner , all those kids’ turned out to be douche bags to their parents’ by back talking their Mom or Dad because they were taught it was ok to do. Because the parents’ weren’t a team period

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

I think your kids are important, but your partner should always be your first priority. I personally believe it's a healthier dynamic for kids to be raised by as well, when they see two loving parents that support each other through thick and thin, have fun with each other, and prioritize each other.

It doesn't mean if your kids are dying, you should prioritize your partner. I think the majority of us agree that it makes more logical sense to save the kids over your partner if the nearly impossible scenario ever arises as they have more years of life left to live (unless they're sick or something, in which case I would not hold it against parents to save each other over the kids).

But in every other scenario, I think it's fair if partner's prioritize each other. It will also give the kids a better view of relationships and love and a desire to have the same thing for themselves.

elizamichale1 · Accepted Answer

I think its never that simple tbh...

There r situations when ur partner need u more so u give him priority n there r situations when ur kids need u more so u then prioritise them... but in general both the partners give priority to the kids which is natural coz of ur love or ur kids...

at least thats how me n my partner have been... a few times when he wasn't well i gave him absolute priority in caring for him n all n there have been so many times when he needed me but i was busy with kids so i couldn't see him...

isn't it how its always going to be?

Apple1996 · Accepted Answer

I prioritize the kids first. They need me. My spouse can survive without me

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ooh, this is a classic relationship dance, and it's all about balance, baby! Prioritizing your partner creates that dreamy teamwork vibe, keeping the love alive and making family decisions smoother than butter. Of course, kiddos need care and attention; it's all about finding the right mix! Sounds like you and your wife are nailing it with this love-em-up-but-don't-forget-each-other strategy. Keep rocking it and spreading the love! 💕

ohsheeT · Answer

No there's moments in time every day the things happen and in that moment if it's serious you deal with it there's no such thing as priority anything your Love is your Love it does not matter you do whatever the best thing you can do in that moment of time there's no hey stop you sit down right there I'm dealing with this over here first which is priority in the moment and if the adult cannot understand that the partner cannot understand that well then they got a problem they are the adult so come on

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I agree with your approach. You are rarely in a position where you must choose between your partner and your children. Sometimes, your children's needs are more urgent but that just means you take care of them and THEN you take care of your partner. And maintaining the happiness in your marriage usually makes you happier as parents.

Summeroflove · Answer

Children come first. It takes two parents to raise kids. They didn’t ask to be born into this world and they cannot defend themselves.  Kids come before your partner period

McLlovin · Answer

Let me just say this. Children are a invaluable investment, they are practically your retirement. A parent’s love with their children is more solid then any relationship you get outside of that.

If you get divorce and you took care of that child and loved them and brought them up. They will stay loyal to you past everything. Relationships will leave but they will be there. A relationship between a husband and wife is different and not less but definitely shouldn’t take precedence over your kid if they are in adolescents. True love shouldn’t even make you choose between your child and them, thats just selfish.

After adulthood that’s different, the child is grown. There’s new boundaries.

itsannalee · Answer

If they are under 18 I’ll prioritize my kids. It’s my choice to give birth of them, they never ask for that. So they are my responsibility until they grow as adults.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I don't know... it usually depends on who needs the prioritization. I mean in my relationship my wife will often tell me to worry about the kids and not to worry about her. Basically, she's freaking out over some bullshit, knows it's bullshit though, and re-directs my concerns.

Anonymous · Answer

I prioritize my husband because honestly I don't like my children very much. I love them and I would die for them but we don't get along and probably never will.

Nikki1989 · Answer

The kids should always come first for anyone who has any clue what being a parent is all about.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Kids first.. Spouse second.. but it seems guys usually won't put their kids first.

EmmaMary · Answer

Regardless of absolutely anything our two children will always come first and foremost.

Anonymous · Answer

tough one. but partner should be first. so your children can have a better understanding of relationships. if your relationship with your partner isn't good, your children will feel that and will end up lacking in life. because a lot of the time, if you keep prioritizing your children, your marriage WILL fall apart... if you and your partner prioritize each other, it will be easier to maintain a priority over the child because you both will be doing that. you know what i mean?

WowGIrl4ever · Answer

If you are a good mom it's hard to put your spouse first. Which isn't good, I think the spouse should get more attention then the kids but that's hard to do

Anonymous · Answer

You can run a marriage and prioritise your kids but it's very hard to function as a team, and have an emotionally fulfilling relationship. You are likely not showing your children the best of one another and what a healthy long term supportive relationship is all about.
So I'd agree with your philosophy as a strong marital relationship provides better results for yourselves and also the kids.

Anonymous · Answer

It's the natural instinct of women to prioritize their children above the father and husband who makes it possible for them to do so. But the smart ones recognize they need to take care of their husbands too or they risk losing them.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

You should prioritize your partner, but you both prioritize the children as part of your mission as a team.

Kelly6 · Answer

Both have their own spot,  you can’t compare partner with kids

Dirtydangerhart · Answer

Your Children. They look to you the parents for guidance. Your partner is important but the kids are more important.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

I would try to give them equal billing but, obviously, I'd be much more attached to her.

SolitarySolace · Answer

Neither. Let them both kick the bucket

Ladsin2 · Answer

Your relationship comes first. Then children. That's the properly ordered family structure.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Partner first.  God first.

Gwendoline · Answer

Both in a common sense manner.

serious_miss419 · Answer

Men seem lost on this one 😂😂

Pete671 · Answer

The family is the priority imho,,,

MicahRaine · Answer

Exactly what you said lol

KrakenAttackin · Answer

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Should you prioritize your partner or your children in a relationship?

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