Parents: How involved are you in your own child's upbringing?

[Dazed0N0Confused]

I'm going to start by saying that either parent can be any kind of parent. From stay at home to having absolutely nothing to do with their child (ren).

Everyone's circumstances are INCREDIBLY different & unique. I'm on leave taking care of my newborn & have mixed feelings about leaving him to go back to work, but I still have time before I have to go back. My boyfriend is very involved when he's home, although even then I still take on the brunt of the child rearing because he's still nervous & not sure of himself with our baby. His friend & his baby momma on the other hand... His friend doesn't have any involvement with the child, he claims to only have gotten his baby momma pregnant because "if it wasn't this b*tech, it would've someone else I spread my seed to," & the mom still retains her parental rights, even though she gave up her child to her mother (child's grandmother) & should absolutely sign away her parental rights to grandma so that the child can be enrolled in school, since mom refuses to do anything for her child. Won't even let the child call her "mom". So, where do you fall on the spectrum?

I'm a stay at home parent / on leave & plan on going back to work

I work, but help when I'm home

I work & don't really have much, if any, involvement when I'm home

I have visitation & send child support / Co-Parenting Agreement

I just send child support &/or minimal contact with my child (letter, phone call on birthday, etc)

I have nothing to do with my child

See Poll Results (I'm not a parent)

[ohshee]

Between 1 and 5 I thought I had the perfect life at 5 years old I found out that my dad was my step dad so from 5 to 29 I always wondered who I was. And about from 5 years old to 10 years old whenever I got trouble I got beat by a belt..
At sixteen I moved out of my mom's house because of her new husband we didn't see eye-to-eye and he put his hands on me one time and I pushed back against the wall and told him if he ever touched me again I would kick his ass as I turned around my mom is right there I looked into her eyes and she was kind of disappointed and upset she didn't say anything but about two weeks later I told her I was moving out

So when you're looking for yourself and you're wondering who to be at the same time you're learning about everything a lot of times you take the wrong path a lot of times you take the right path but in set the in the wrong path you learn how to read people because you're always wondering is that person related to you

With everything I said above you would think that it might be bad I wouldn't trade it for the world because it guided me to where I'm at today
I got married at an early age way too early and I had a son
I had a few things on my mind that I had to really figure out first of all I did not want to be like my stepdad so I vowed that I would never ever be like him

I promised that I would always be in my son's life no matter what so he didn't have to go through what I had to go through

After my son was born got a divorce like I said we just got married way too early
I was the one that wanted to leave
I had to pay the price for doing that because that hurt her I guess so deep because any chance that she had to take from me to fuck me up to put me in jail no matter if it was true or false she was doing it she made my life miserable but there is one promise I promised myself that I would never ever allow my son to feel the way that I did so I paid that price for love years I took out a abuse all the bullshit that comes with it just because I did not want my son to go through anything that I had to go through in time I would tell her stop doing what you're doing have her kid is going to understand it one day and he's going to ask the right people like your parents like your brother and sister and he's going to find out the truth and he's going to hate you for it
Raising my kid I never ever had to raise my voice one time I never put him in time out I never disciplined him I never spanked him
The reason why is because after I used to get beat by a belt.
I would think to myself how can you say you love me and turn around and beat the fuck out of me with the belt I swore I would never ever spank my kids I knew all I had to do was speak to them and that's what I did

Raising kids is a 24-hour a day job I promised myself I would do whatever it takes to raise my kid to be a good person to be a loving kind gentle person the new wrong from right

If my son was doing anything wrong all I would have to do is

Say pssst.. and he new that sound.
If he was with somebody or by himself he would walk over to me or say my dad wants us he would come to me yes Dad
I would explain to him why he can't be doing what he's doing or they're doing explain it very little words cut and dry and then I said you understand he would say yes I would say okay go have fun respect people's property or whatever they were doing

I never had to get out of control or yell or scream at her make it all about me that's the biggest mistake people make when you do something like that the only thing that you just typed your kid is when they want something yell and scream and get out of control
I think before you able to bring a kid into this world there has to be test that you have to take psychological test because I watch kids nowadays that are so out of control they hate themselves so many other people they don't care they all have high anxiety they throw temper tantrums
And everything is about them

[ohshee]

I think nowadays there's so many unwanted pregnancies and the parents aren't even good people that want to actually have their kids they don't put time and energy positive time and energy into them they yell they scream they don't care how they're going to be when you get older they don't even care if they graduate from school they don't care how they act and I think it's just wrong if you cannot put 100% of yourself into a child then you should not be allowed to have a child it's that simple

[ChrisMaster69]

Very involved but don’t follow the answer, a parent is responsible from day one.

The support, love and caring is not based on being at home or working.

A person can be a stay at home parent, then not do things like help with homework, give them the opportunity to develop socially by taking them to clubs etc.

Whether you work or not is often irrelevant at times.

for example a child of 8 gets dropped at school in the morning and picked up late afternoon. Most schools have an early drop of which both non working and working use.

for me a lot of the support is emotional, educational, opportunist, social development

yes everyone is different, however, basing it simply on working or not is flawed.

The question seems to be too tightly focused on what actually raising a child is like.

[Apple1996]

I'm a stay at home mom and pretty much raise my kids 99% of the time since my husband is away so often for work

[JustinTheGreat]

I have custody of my daughter and the mother pays child support but has no involvement.
She kinda just upped and left, literally moved across the country and left her with me. Haven’t talked to her in years but from what I hear she’s currently engaged and pregnant again.
it definitely hurts to hear that she apparently is excited about having her new baby, acting as though she doesn’t already have one…I’m not hurt for myself but more hurt for my daughter. One day she’s gonna grow up and learn that her mom is busy taking care and showing attention to another kid but can’t even take the time to call and talk to her.

but whatever, fuck that bitch. I hate her lol

[exitseven]

I worked full time but always had breakfast and dinner with my kids. I coached soccer and was involved with the Boy Scouts. We were pretty hands on when it came to education.

[msc545]

Not at all other than child support. My child was stolen from me.

[Andres77]

I'm like my kid's shadow.