I was bored last night & watching Dr Phil reruns and happened upon an episode about physically abusive relationships which of course lead to watching a bunch of other ones.
Now I've never been in an abusive relationship & can't wrap my mind around being in one.
Staying in one.
And even having children with someone who is physically - even dangerously physically - abusive as some of these women in these episodes. And the comicality is most of these guys appear to have anger or abuse issues before kids so likely BEFORE marriage to.
Anyway
One of the major things I found these women had in common was a lack of a job & a dependence on their husband. They essentially put themselves in these relationships as I suppose to them life is scary. God only knows how having a job & being responsible for bills, etc. is more terrifying than having someone strangle you with a belt or whatever else.
Anyway.
The lack of job & dependence really struck me. We're not in the 1900 anymore. We're not in the 1800 anymore. We're not in Saudi or other countries where women have few rights.
I am pointing out the above & that women can actually work quite easily nowadays.
.
Because yes you could blame these women growing up in households where their mother was abused but WHY continue it. WHY put up with it. WHY expose their children to it like their mother exposed them. During their mother's time it was relatively harder for a woman to strike out on her own. But that time and that mentality doesn't exist anymore per se.
.
Similarly while growing up they may have gone to friends houses where parents were caring, etc. whereas these women's own childhood homes were nuthouses. You'd think they would strive for having a household like their friends not repeat their childhood nuthouse.
Or even going to adults friend's households & seeing how a relatively normal relationship is yet these women continue to maintain a relationship that is indeed abusive & dangerous.
I am focusing on women because that's what I watched and the episodes were like what the fucking hell is WRONG with these women. Like what is WRONG with their brains. Which applies to men as well that stay in such relationships.
Nobody has any right to treat anyone else poorly.
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2Opinion
Sorry but if your partner is abusive male or female and you stay it’s starts to become your fault. You are enabling them. Ik a guy who’s married to a total wacko. They got two kids and she stays at home and drinks the whole time, she even attacks him. She also took out a credit card in his name and maxed it out, yet he won’t leave her. She may be the crazy one but clearly he has done nothing to change it because nothing has changed. I also know a girl that got cheated on multiple times she knew about and yeah there were fights but she stayed with him. She kept giving him “chances” for why? There’s literally no reason she had to do that! Though the victims are not the ones to cause the problem yet them enabling and not leaving their partners and staying with them even though nothing has changed is disgusting!
Some women have low self esteem. Some of them think that being in an abusive relationship is better than nothing. Some are brought up in a abusive household and thing that is the way it is. It is a complex subject that seldom has a simple answer.