In an affair, why is the woman always get blame for being the home wrecker when the man is equally at fault?

[Princesspd]

[DoggyDude]

I don't think that is a correct statement. Though, as an academic matter, deciding what I'd say if it was correct (which I feel its not):

A possible reason could be that the woman should know better than the man. Here meaning that, a woman generally is the one who has face the infidelity of a man (because it is possible for a guy to get a girl pregnant then just skip out leaving her with the baby, and without support).

However, the reality is, men are to blame, precisely because they can just get a girl pregnant and leave her with little to no concequences outside of guilt or societal judgement.

So another 'hypothetical' is that women are seen to be responsible for attraction. Men are usually more passive in attraction, but the average woman goes very far to be her most attractive. Therefore idiots might equate the fact that the girl goes out of her way to attract a man to put blame on her unfairly.

So those are two 'fictional' but consistent reasons. The reality is, the man is more to blame because they are the ones in a position of freedom to move on without obvious consquence and as such bear a greater responsibility for the harm they cause by unfaithfulness.

[RavVid]

Tinder has relevant stats towards this question.

We know that the top 1% of men get most of the likes from most women. It is not really significant if it is the top 10% or even 20%. The bottom 80-90% of men are trying for the attention of the bottom 20% of women.

So the effective sex ratio (M:F) is say 80%:20% (bottom women) and maybe 10%:60-80% (top women). The numbers are rubbery but it is not in doubt that women are the gate keepers of sex as often noted. Women are the the choosers not the bidders in the sexual market place.

One of the interesting aspects is women rate men as 50% more attractive if they think the man is married than if they they are single.

Add in nominal fathers are excluded from paternity in about 28% of paternity tests.

It takes two to tango for sure but it seems that the woman as home wrecker is a real world assessment that women do choose married men when they could choose single men. That there is a difference in sexual agency between men and women

[Hawaiikai]

The only thing I see wrong would be if a girl knows he is in a relationship then I would call that a bit shady on her part. Even worse, if she is friends with the girl But if the guy referred him self as single even if he isn’t and the girl didn’t know, the girl should not be at fault because she didn’t know. And I don’t think she could be called a homewrecker because she’s out here having fun doing what she wants to do. And has the freedom to do so. while the guy is out here cheating on his other half.

[RavVid]

I would agree with that

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, regardless of any context, both genders will blame women when it comes to infidelity. If you have an affair with someone’s husband, you get the title of home wrecker. If you cheat on your husband, you are a whore. I have been telling other women so many times that women are nothing in this world other than a sex object but they refuse to accept.

[Avicenna]

I doubt men escape blame when they have affairs

[Princesspd]

Not in m

[Princesspd]

Not in my experience

[MrOracle]

You got the blame because you were HER friend and you KNEW his was married, and so you betrayed her directly. And you continue to try to excuse yourself. This wasn't a mistake that just happened out of the blue one day - you were clearly working towards it for some time and then continued long after the first event. That was 100% your CHOICE and 0% a mistake. And that is why she is so angry at you.

If you were some random woman, and he'd told you that he was single, and you had no way to know otherwise, she wouldn't be (nearly as) mad at you. But your situation was VERY different.

[Princesspd]

I knew he was married and he knew I was married. Yes, she was my friend and i regret it, but he made the first move. I rejected him time after time, but his persistent got me hooked so I gave in. He also knew my husband though is the wife.

[Princesspd]

Our husband knew each other through us.

[MrOracle]

Again, that was your choice. Being married, it was your obligation to keep other men at arm's length, and to completely shut down any advances. You chose not to do that because you enjoyed the attention. You absolutely could have cut it off if you wanted to.

Now you are lame-shifting onto the guy, and while he is certainly no saint either, you are not taking responsibility for your role - which is another reason why others are so upset at you. I believe you that the guy came on to you first, but that doesn't excuse everything that happened after that - not only did you not shut it down, you obviously enjoyed that attention, which encouraged him to push further, and each time you allowed it. That was all your choice.

[JacobJordan]

Whoever cheats is at fault. If the woman knows the man is married then she is more at fault because she knew and decided to do it anyways. She should have said no. The guy should have not cheated when he was married obviously. It is a situation of both are wrong and most will assume the woman knew he was married (because most guys suck at hiding stuff like that)

[888theGreat]

Because Women in the end say no or yes. Men are aggressive by nature and think with brain between their legs. They are that way to reproduce. God made it that way to repopulate. See God loves kids and hates abortion.

Women are the moral conscious of society. Men teach work ethic and are the enforcers for proper behavior.

[Seinna]

Men have more loyalty towards men than women have towards women. So women always get more blame for everything from both sexes. Personally I don't think both are equally to blame - the person who cheated is more guilty.

[ManOnFire]

Is this true? Men definitely get a good sacking for cheating. But then... some women are stupid and will still take the guy back.

[Princesspd]

I got blame for everything and the wife took him back.

[ManOnFire]

@Princesspd Well, that's what I mean. Some women are complete idiots and take the guys back, but if they have kids I know what they're thinking: they don't want to leave the guy and have a broken family and go through a divorce, and she doesn't want to be alone, especially as a single mom. I'm not excusing their stupidity of course, but I am saying they're thinking more with a mindset of self-preservation, even if the world knows she looks like a fool for taking him back.

To be fair though, if you slept with a married guy you're not a lot better either and you still do deserve some level of blame. I'm just keeping it real.

[Princesspd]

Yes I know. I’m not saying I am blameless but yeah it is almost like I’m the evil person and he is not. I understand what you’re saying

[ManOnFire]

@Princesspd True. But she's blaming you like that because she's in denial and can't come to terms with the fact that her own husband betrayed her. And probably because deep down she feels like a failure if she couldn't keep him from cheating. Lots of wives project these things onto the mistress.

[Princesspd]

She and I were friend. Our friendship ended after three years long affair between her husband and I.

[ManOnFire]

@Princesspd Wow. Well, if you guys were friends then I can understand some of her disgust with you, like you betrayed her behind her back too. Yeah, it's a bad situation all around, but... what we do has consequences when it hurts others. Hopefully this is something you will pledge to never do again with any other husband.

[Princesspd]

I’m not even sure how we got that far into it. We were not aware it was an affair until it became an affair. By then it was too late for us to stop and it kept going until it was discovered.

[Princesspd]

Now I understand why some people say cheating is a mistake or a choice. For me it was both a mistake and a choice.

[TheSpaceGnome]

it is very rare that there is equal fualt, it is usually just one person being a good partner and the other being an asshole. So in cases where a woman cheats, and the man does not, and she gets called a homewrecker for it, she is at fault.

[OtterMan68]

According to Hollywood, if a man cheats, he's a scumbag who needs to be humiliated, but if a woman cheats, she did so because her needs weren't being met, and she has to be able to explain herself.

[David94358]

I would imagine the guy would probably also be blamed

[SolitarySolace]

It’s the fault of whoever had the affair. Can’t blame both parties when one of them has an affair and the other didn’t. I know you women just love punishing men

[laly520]

cuz society tends to put blame on women

also men get blamed too just not as much as women

[Berethor]

That is because women are less sexual than men and women are the gatekeepers of sex.

[RHK36]

It should be more blame on whoever is in the relationship because they allowed someone from outside to come into their life.

[JayBones]

If you're worried about blame maybe you aren't mature enough for an affair I think you should stick to boring ass monogamy

[9in_Serpent]

Just dumb society double standards or beliefs as usual

[9in_Serpent]

But what happened in your case?

[In_Trance]

I don't think you can assume always.
Clearly it would depend on whose home is being wrecked

[Bobby88t]

Yes you are right! I take the responsibility

[DextroShade]

Because women decide who has sex.

[MemeSupreme]

you gotta give more context

[Princesspd]

Message me I will give you

[ProbablyClueless]

Both of them get blamed equally.