Can kids grow up decent and nonviolent without spanking as discipline?

[Danielle93]

I never got in trouble with the law, never turned into drugs nor ever gotten violent with anyone. I'm a healthy, productive citizen and I've never been spanked by neither parents.

I never talked to them badly because that's just not right and they were never disrespectful to me, not because of fear of getting hit or threatened.

Can the same result (me and many more) be obtained without relying on physical punishment? Not everyone that never got spanked are violent thugs nor drug users. I've actually seen the opposite happening more; the more someone gets smacked around the more likely they'll have issues and addictions.

Updates

16 d

And nope, my parents weren't pushovers that did the "talking about feelings and softly repeating the same thing over and over" gentle approach either. They were firm and did applied consequences; they just never involved hitting.

[beenherebefore]

Yes! But they definitely need to know that there are consequences for their bad actions such as punishment as an example, not allowing them to use their phone, play video games, not allowing them to go out with friends for a limited period of time until they understand what they've done.

[Chazmatazz269]

Kids are not created equal. Some need to be spanked. Others break at a harsh word. There is not one parental discipline style that fits all. One of our major societal issues is parents not understanding their kids and utilizing the totally wrong parenting practices. You can create a sociopath just as easily by not disciplining a kid who needs it as you can by overly disciplining a kid who would respond to reason and negotiation.

[genericname85]

They absolutely can. I would say spanking is a sign of failed parenting. Because it doesn't teach them to behave in ways that avoids getting a spanking. It teaches them that physical violence is ok. And that's not a thing you wanna teach a kid.

[genericname85]

They can still grow up to be decent but it's not ideal. If you use spanking and such violence, they'll have to grow up to be decent despite it.

[Nikki1989]

Kids tend to do better when physical punishment is avoided. Research across decades shows that spanking does not improve behaviour and is consistently linked to more aggression.

[sage2021]

I was never spanked or disciplined as a little girl. I turned out pretty good. My mom used to tell me that she trusts my better judgement and that was all.

[slatyb]

They are more like to grow up nonviolent if they are shown how to resolve conflicts without violence.

[FrodoSkywalker007]

Yes I believe it's possible raise children without that form of punishment

[Danielle93]

Yes and many parent think not spanking is going to the other extreme of softly speaking and talking endlessly about feelings or giving long lectures. Nope. My parents were still firm and strict with consequences applied. It just never involved getting hit.

[objective_calendar]

Yeah me

[Kelly6]

@Danielle93 yes