Should more fathers teach their daughters self-defense instead of rescuing them?

Question

I'm really at low profile but that's exactly what my father did from an early age. He found it important for me to handle myself even with a bigger opponent trying to hurt me, in case no one is available to rescue me. He always reminded that daddy can't be there all the time. I've been hearing stories of how several fathers confronted the boy at school and even got physical with him. In one case, a 12 year-old boy threw ice-cream on her and her father comes confronting him.

I only had one boy try to mess with in 7th grade. I finished it myself. My father didn't need to rescue me. Should more fathers do what mine did; teach them to defend themselves?

4ngelic · Accepted Answer

They should buy their daughters pepperspray, rape alarms (the very loud ear bleeding self defense alarms) and a taser, or a gun if they're 18. And have them take classes to know how to use them. You can also get them books on how to prevent being victimized by criminals outside, and how to spot potential dangerous men in her life.

But physical self defense for a girl is really not the best. It's not like hollywood where you teach a girl a couple techniques and she can defeat 6ft 200lbs dudes easily. I took Krav Maga and was made to take a self defense class for women, as a teen, and I was desillusioned. My krav maga instructor litterally told the few women there that we'd need a lot of training to defeat the average man with our bodies alone, and that we could never defeat a trained man with just our fists without having to go for lethal or very destructive moves. He told us we had to use weapons, our wits, and potentially objects around, and be fast, but that was really the last resort for us, we should run if we can. At the self defense class for women, I was told that most self defense techniques don't work with women, you need to know a couple very hurtful techniques that are not suitable for using on your run of the mill creep, like breaking a leg, eye gouging, or causing brain trauma (hitting temples), which you need to get right with the adrenaline and them being a threat when you do this, if you fail they can get even more violent. The dick kneeing thing is harder than you think too, I learned that.

Weapons and avoiding potentially dangerous situations, are what should be what's taught.

FreyaRed · Accepted Answer

I think girls should be taught how to avoid potentially dangerous situations. It's similar with you don't walk with a diamond necklace among beggars. Without combat ready firearm this will be difficult for a girl to defense herself. A firearm needs situational awareness and weapon training. I don't think paper spray or some Karate moves after 30 times trying on a mannequin will help against highly motivated attacker who uses likely surprise effect.
Living in homogenous white societies is an option. Of course there are rapes and sexual harassment but statistically it's minimal compared to multi cultural societies which are infested with violence against women and don't prosecute sexual crimes because this would overwhelm justice system.

I think education lesson for girls, deterrence with harsh sentences for sexual criminals and unavoidability of being punished is important.

ODC2112 · Accepted Answer

Many fathers (and men in general) lack the skills to truly defend themselves: no martial arts experience, limited situational awareness, and a culture that emphasises avoidance over threat management.
The vast majority of self-defence courses (especially those "women's" gym classes, with slow, choreographed techniques) are almost useless against a surprise attack. A real attacker doesn't announce, "I'm going to attack you now"; he comes from behind while you're distracted or stops you in a split second.
I practised ancient fencing over 20 years ago. I was walking in my mail armour when someone unexpectedly struck me in the stomach with his mace, knocking the wind out of me. I wasn't hurt because I was wearing armour and a gambeson, but the shock of being hit took away my awareness. If he had struck me again, I would have felt it.
It's the perfect demonstration of what happens in real life: it's not the pain or immediate damage that gets you; it's the physiological shock. Adrenaline paralyses you, your diaphragm seizes, and your brain freezes.
There are things that movies have distorted, like the multiple attack: if two people attack you, you're dead, even if they're weak opponents. One distracts you or blocks you; the other strikes. They surround you and knock you to the ground, and then it's all over. The story you're telling is adults against children, not children against children or adults against adults. So it works. Street fighting is a whole different ball game; even with years of training, you could still lose.

OneViewpoint · Accepted Answer

Well, self defense is never a bad thing. But given that most women are gonna be severely disadvantaged relative to most men, a better place to start is situational awareness and trying to not place yourself in a situation where you are forced into hand to hand combat. Also, pepper spray and running is an acceptable solution vs hospital time and court dates. 15 seconds may save your life. Then there's asking for help. Ask a bartender for an escort to your car if you're uneasy. A bouncer or other trustworthy guys will usually be happy to provide that assistance until you're buckled in, doors locked, and moving away from a potential threat.

Vesuvius87 · Answer

They should but the issue lies here:

When it comes to fighting skills and sports, most father are just average Joes with no training. Most only know basic punching and relying on their size and strength, nothing else beyond that. They're clueless in an actual fight with a man skillful fighter. Unfortunately average Joes raise average Janes.

The only father actively teaching their daughters actual self-defense techniques are those in the military, one who are martial artist instructors themselves or ones owning guns. All of those father have an active lifestyle and are into defensive sports. A father just watching the World Cups games, working to provide money and buying gifts to his daughter isn't going to teach what he doesn't know.

Sunrising · Answer

No I don't think parents should teach their children to fight.

Parents should teach their children how to avoid confrontation.

Also parents should have more sense than getting themselves involved in children's squabbles.

I was brought up in a non violent district, and my parents didn't discuss anything with me,, but there are always aggressive children, and children should learn themselves how to deal with them.

My dad served in the army, and I learned how to use a rifle at the fairground competing against him, but I wouldn't encourage anyone to buy a gun for self defence.

I'm male and probably fortunate with my size and physique, but there's always someone bigger than oneself, and from experience I know the places to avoid unless I'm looking for trouble.

Females learning to fight against much bigger guys is not non starter in my view.

ThisSiteSux · Answer

My 4'11" 98 lb 16 year old daughter was kidnapped for like 4 minutes. She stabbed him in the armpit and severed an artery and he died in seconds. She hit the panic button on her phone and I tracked her to the location in 18 minutes and called the police. It was all planned in advance and practiced.

HollyK21 · Answer

Well, who’s to say more fathers don’t teach their daughters self defense? You had that experience, as did I, along with the women in my family, both young and old, even several friends of mine growing up. If you and I as two complete strangers were taught to defend ourselves, I’m sure there’s plenty of other women who can relate.

Staglioni · Answer

Judo or BJJ are always good options, Judo because women have a lower center of gravity and although men have stronger upper bodies, your leg strength is closer to equal, and BJJ if you can find a gym that isn't to "sporty" and teaches the old school "anything goes" kind of way. This of course doesn't exclude us teaching our sons to be decent men.

DishLady · Answer

Teaching self defense should be PART of rescuing them. A girl should generally know how to be safe and know to call for backup when she doesn't feel safe. However in instances where she finds herself alone she DOES need to know what to do.

DonaldDarko · Answer

Woman should be armed. Some are and one stopped a piece of shit shooting up a grocery store years back. She crept up behind him and shot him in the back of the head. Oddly "feminists" never mention how empowering concealed carry is for women.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes fathers should teach their daughters self defense. And yes, any father would defend their daughter who they knew was being attacked. This is not an either or scenario. No father is going to see his daughter attacked and say, "lets see if any of my teaching got through to her".😂 think of self defense as a last line of defense.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Poppy's answer. If more parents, and society as a whole, were raising boys that behave appropriately, then the need to teach girls to defend from males would automatically decrease...

purplepoppy · Answer

No they should teach their sons not to abuse others.

exitseven · Answer

It is not a bad idea. I taught my daughter how to change a flat tire and jump start a car. I taught her how to start fires and cook outdoors. I never taught my kids how to fight because I wanted them not to be violent.

_Jenny_ · Answer

Of course they should teach their daughters self defense

Nikki1989 · Answer

No, parents should raise their sons not to be abusive and teach their daughters how to choose their partners more wisely.

jahaims · Answer

Self defense without a weapon is nearly useless for females unless you are going to become the top1% of female mma fighters you are still getting stopped out by a guy.

Agape93 · Answer

Absolutely. But I'm not surprised there's a dude apparently wanting girls to not know self defense.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, of course, if I had a daughter, she would practice martial arts.

Anonymous · Answer

I think that’s a good idea but you can’t expect a six year old to defend themselves against a predator. Or even a twelve year old.

Agatha01 · Answer

I say both and teach them what to look out for.

Should more fathers teach their daughters self-defense instead of rescuing them?

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