How do I set phone call boundaries with parents in a small house?

[Anonymous]

It feels like my parents want to keep tabs on me since they encourage me to call my friends in the living room and i said no i will talk to her later. The only time i considered talking to my friend was when the tv was free and they sat next to me anyway. Then they mentioned i can talk to her on the phone? Like ok, thanks for allowing me to contact my friend. When im sure they would be all ears and ask why i spend so much time talking to her or her schedule etc… lol wtf i do not know how to take it or why they want to be constantly in the TV room even if i’m using it and talking to my friend as they suggest 🙄 i told them it makes me uncomfortable that they always listen and make comments and they always use the “it is a small house”. Maybe there is something soundproof i could use?

[WhitneySnow]

What about in your bedroom?

[Asker]

That is given. But the walls don’t do anything to mute the sound and i have seen them repeat the words i use in a debate or discussion

[WhitneySnow]

So where can you go in your house that they can’t overhear you?

[Asker]

I go to the lobby if i want to vent about somthing

[WhitneySnow]

I’m not sure what to suggest. Do you have a small house?

[Asker]

Yes that is true, though when we had a bigger house they would still find ways to listen e. g. pass right by my study room and give an ear to whatever im saying. I would know because once i was telling my dad something over the phone and my mom was giving feedback on how my “delivery” could improve. I pointed it out asking how she was able to hear me from that far and she looked a bit embarrassed and said she was just passing by…

[WhitneySnow]

That sounds really annoying

[Asker]

Haha yeah, that is why i always usually stay out and use home for sleeping only. I did encourage them to also meet other couples and go out but they won’t budge. Even when they do they come back super fast. I helped them enroll in some extracurricular activities but they always quit. I don’t get this house attachment, never have. Also, because they are always sedentary they pile on chores for me to do whenever i enter home e. g. just to eat. Especially if it is something like “oh can you go to the supermarket and get me cherries?” I push back asserting that this is not where I’m headed and i don’t want to walk in the rain for 15 mins. Of course i would help them if they were sick but im not permanently available. Also have a sibling that lives away and gradually delegating my responsibilities to her whenever she is around.

[WhitneySnow]

I think you need to make it clear to them that your phone calls are your private time.

[Asker]

I just take them outside since they don’t understand boundaries. I think they are bored so for them any kind of socialisation is interesting. If she is not able to hear something she will still ask why i like that friend, how they r able to make that time and etc. it is nice they want to get to know them however they could do that causally asking me in real time rather than prying on my phone calls. It is not like they were actually interested in getting to know them which i told them.

They also tried to read my messages or see my gallery from my phone/PC when unlocked and so i so told them to look elsewhere. Or i literally grab the phone from their hand because i asked them to hold it for a few secs. I didn’t think they would browse i was naive but they did it to my face

[WhitneySnow]

That sounds really annoying. Good luck dealing with that. I’m sorry you have to.

[Danny_dan92]

Move out