How do you cope when your own family keeps calling you fat?

[confident666]

I was really skinny before college, but then I gained some weight (you know the drill: partying, slower metabolism, stressing about exams, and then also after starting a desk job...) and now whenever I am visiting my family they all mock me because of my weight gain, they call me: whale, they make stupid jokes, etc. My mom and sister are usually the most cruel.

How do you deal with that?

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Some say sticks & stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me. As for families they could be wonderful however unfortunately sometimes they could be hurtful & I’m sorry to hear how cruel your family is being.

As for you you’re not a child anymore & although you are grown up your family is not.

Stand up for yourself & don’t put up with any bullshit from people especially family & the next time a family member says something wrong pull them aside & speak your mind & don’t hold back. Tell your family you like visiting however if you have to put up with being put down every time you visit tell them you just aren’t going to visit anymore.

[Phunk_Fenomenon]

I gotta say, you have a lot of patience. If this was me I would stop visiting them for a while. Not to get even but as a boundary.

If every visit turns into them mocking your body, calling you names, and making you feel worse about yourself, then they are showing you that they do not deserve access to you right now.

And if they ask why you stopped coming around, tell them plainly: “Because I’m not visiting people who insult my body and then expect me to act like it’s normal.”

You can work on your health if you want to, but nobody needs to be humiliated into self-improvement.

[thegreenyogi]

I went through this kind I'd experience with an uncle of mine. Throughout my teens he would sit next to me and shame me repeatedly by saying how he couldn't understand how I personally could look at myself in the mirror because I was fat. As an adult I am fit, strong and slim and he is extremely overweight and unhappy. So how did I cope? I reacted and worked out a lot and did whatever I had to so I couldn't be shamed anymore.

[DishLady]

We all go through phases like that. You need to be confident regardless of your weight.

It's really cruel of your family to mock you that way. You need to tell them that it's not funny and you want them to stop.

Meanwhile... DO exercise and get back into shape -- for YOU, not for anyone else. The health habits you form NOW are the ones that will stick with you throughout your life.

[HawkPerception]

Constructive criticism should be taken with a grain of salt, but insults are not cool, even if there is some truth in them, so I'm sorry your family is giving you a hard time.

Don't dwell on it. Just live life as you want to live life. But I will say that if you want the comments to stop, just use them as motivation to get fit. It's only beneficial to get in shape for both your capability and longevity. Plus you feel more confident in yourself. There's literally no downsides.

Just know that people tend to call names based on how you live your life. If you don't work and laze around all day, people might call you a bum. And there's tons of other negative names people might call you for different ways of life. Just gotta own who you are if you're cool with it.

But I honestly believe fat shaming can sometimes be the kick in the ass some people need. It might have the opposite for others though.

[Hellraiser1984]

My parents call me a walrus and blubber ass. I'm 6'0 and 350lbs. I inherited my weight issues from my maternal grandfather. I eat very healthy and work out to get it off but I don't think I'll ever be 100lbs. But I just brush it off asy parents being the loser a$$holes they are. F your parents. You're here because they didn't use contraceptives. It's not your fault you're big. If they truly loved you they wouldn't make fun of you.

[LiamJHayden]

No idea. I have hypermetabolism. I bascially have to eat a normal diet plus the equivalent calories of at least one XL pizza per day just to maintain my weight.

[confident666]

Lucky you :D

[jennifer_bloom]

Have you ever seen a fat meditation teacher? If you meditate you can lower your cortisol levels and your craving for food and that will help you lose weight.

[Deepinthought345]

Some times it takes one to be the bigger person and forgive them because after a while it will wear out on them. That joke won't stick anymore. You will have moved on with a successful and satisfying life while they continue to hold on to a stale subject.

When people body shame it is a projection of their insecurities. You can get skinny tomorrow or maybe you won't but they won't start thinking differently of you overnight. Don't let them and their opinion of you define you.

[indissoluble]

Put on a red t-shirt and run their their bedroom wall while they are sleeping and scream Oh Yeah!

https://www.youtube.com/embed/_fjEViOF4JE

[indissoluble]

www.youtube.com/shorts/Ukx314zcGaU?feature=share

[bowenw]

Stay away from them as much as possible.
Don't react as that is what bullies like to see.

[Mynameisbobby]

That's emotional abuse! Try setting boundaries

[LiamS95]

You don't look fat to me, maybe a tiny bit pudgy but certainly not fat.

[Nikki1989]

Don't tolerate bullying from anyone, period.

[genericname85]

if my own family calls me fat that means i am fat and that means i probably lose weight. that did happen before.

[Jamie05rhs]

The American "higher education" system is really unhealthy. It needs drastic reforms.

[AgentG111]

Life short live it up! Tell them to bugger off and be happy with you and who you are!

[Aiko_E_Lara]

They don't do that much. If they do, their hypocrites.

[Just_Ken]

Must be hard for your family

[AngryCarl3]

I'd lose weight.

[Danny_dan92]

Lose weight

[leviopperman]

just lose weight

[confident666]

I'll lose it, eventually, but this wasn't the question, was it?

[kinks1951]

Assholes