Am I actually the bad guy for how I handled her grief and drama?

So as a quick recap:

This girl I've been helping out has been acting kinda funny around my friends. She flirts with me and is very friendly but around the friend groups I try to include her in it's like she tries to play all sorts of weird games to sort of steal my social standing in the group.

Then she tried to manipulate me I told her it was a nice try but not very convincing.

But after all that I figured she probably spent a lot of time around some pretty shitty people. I always knew this process wouldn't exactly be easy.

----------------------

Were at a friend's place and she's telling me about her aunt who passed away and how she was upset she had to find out through Facebook.

Now she's talked about her aunt who she was close to before but when she started talking about this one, I thought it was two different aunts.

In my defense she's Hispanic. I thought you people have huge families. Anyway, she starts acting like an ass and we get into a bit of a spat and she blocks me.

It wasn't until a couple days after that it clicked with me that the dead aunt and the one she liked so much were the same.

Not that it undid that much shit she had done but fuck I messed up pretty bad 😂.

So ya basically I decided to put my foot down but only when she was freaking out over something legitimate and I didn't realize it because I misunderstood her telling me about a fresh and traumatic experience she was going through so from her point of view... I'm sure it wasn't a fun place to be.

Anyway I explained what happened to her and things have been peaceful. I'm still wondering if I'm gonna bring her out with my friends and family for the 4th of July.

What's the worst that could happen right

Select gender and age to cast your vote:

There_Is_Rehab

Xper 2 Age: 22

Your subconscious mind made you confused with such an obvious thing because you yourself have dragons in your closet. And those dragons are the exact reason you two are still pairing up.

All we do is reenact our childhood and ancestor dramas until we, if ever, do the occult work.

We do the cleverest things in the world and the dumbest things in the world all because our subconscious mind tells us to.

Trying to keep it short. You intellectualized her grief. She embodied and talked it. Neither of you two have awoken the soul to feel the grief without running away.

And phuck your poll options. They are darkness solutions to a darkness problem. Once a person does shadow work, their past does not matter. She could be a half-dead brothel slave and if her inner christ wins, she does the so-called shadow work, there's no impurity left, no risk of her inflicting her trauma/"demons" on herself or others.

Telekinetic-Potato

1 d
Hmmmm, Im afraid you might be right about a lot of that. I'm trying not to jump to any conclusions. But I figured I got her a job when she was about to lose her apartment, I introduced her to people who aren't street walking addicts... After that it's not really my responsibility to help right?

That's my whole damage, I don't feel much of anything anymore. I have to intellectualize everything because I'm so burnt out. Otherwise stuff like this happens even more often to me.

I wasn't always like this.

Reply
There_Is_Rehab

1 d
The solution is not to just cut her off. You'll end up in the exact same situation. Why? Because your dragons haven't been pinned down. Your subconscious mind dictates when you pump cortisol and when you pump oxytocin. It will force you to get glued to another women exact the same as her. Nothing you can do to run away from that. She is there to make you face your shadow and you make her face hers.

Don't ask me how i know lol. And that's the general esoteric theme behind suffering. I even successfully brainwashed that autistic musictokku guy on here not to end his life because it will result in reincarnation in the exact same circumstances. The subconscious mind will not only attract him to the same people but also generate the exact same illness.

Well, for that second part anyone is welcome to google "perceptual studies: children who remember past lives: and also do "remote view tournament" mobile app made by researchers, or simply do practice targets online --- merely to prove that mind is not local. DO NOT practice it to get better somehow. You never will and will only regress backward into ancient uncontrollable form of channeling clairvoyance as opposed to self directed truth perception.

Anyway i know that your question was all about the girl here and now, yet that spiritual side is an inevitable part of us keeping us in it. Some people call it karmic necessity. But you probably proved to yourself that there is nothing your intellect can do to escape the subconscious mind generating memory leaks (making you confused about two aunts) no matter how good your cognition is, and the hormones that atteact you to people like her. Not even romantically --- even as friends, it is our hormones choosing whom we're friends with.

And we all were different growing up. Because the "astral body" incarnates mid teen years (hate this terminology or not).

Reply
Telekinetic-Potato

1 d
So you're saying I'm not going to grow personally until our energies are no longer in conflict with eachother?

Reply
There_Is_Rehab

1 d
You're in conflict with her because you both are projecting your own shadows on the other. The fighting is good because it means you're not comfortable being in the shadow. Worse is when the shadow wasn't faced and there is stagnation, usually thanks to excessive materialist quick fixes, which is the direction humanity is headed, merging with the machine to "fix" all soul problems. Don't get it wrong, there is nothing broken in either of your personalities, and in fact, thefe is nothing broken with the anti-soul cosmic impulse ingulfing the earth with deadening automation, birthing robots etc. it is a necessary counter force to strengthen the soul like a gym. And yes, there is no personal growth until the shadow is faced. Everything that makes a surface level compromise is a coping mechanism for soullessness. This whole esoteric thing i am talking about is actually a common theme among every religious tradition. Every one of them. All the myths and legends, even go have a look at my opinion on overweight people, i managed to shove the Saint George (the one on russian emblem and many more) as the core of solving obesity.

One thing that really struck me lately, and I've heard it from rudolf steiner year after year and only grasped now, is the depiction of the jesus figure. Move away from mourning personal subjective losses and into the objective truth. If she name-calls you, do not repress it with "instant forget and forgive." Do not shove it into your body or act it out. Do not intellectualize it like a riddle. Instead, activate your clairvoyance by calibrating your heart. See how name-calling someone is an attack on their "self" or christ ego, or "i am". They don't even have to have it awakened in them in order to see the tragedy. Feel the sadness, but without masochism. A relaxing shoulder-dropping sadness, maybe some belly-deep sniffing reflex as if crying.

Reply
There_Is_Rehab

1 d
Jesus is depicted crying for a reason. But try not crying, crying is the same as screaming and kicking: it externalizes the feeling into the body. It is good actually if you have postural issues, usually from suppressed crying, so then open up your diaphragm. But once that is done start collecting the tears, not in your body, nor the mind, but in the soul. Keep instead brewing the feeling inside yourself, it will pop up the soul like pitching a tent spiritually... but most importantly, do not be afraid of "negative emotions". The fear of them is the only true negativity that exists. Attune them to object truth: name-calling someone is a distortion of the sacred human form. When i am insulted i don't act pissy because my animal mature wants to reestablish dominance, nor do i physically cry to submit. Instead i keep calm and internally tell my soul "this is a distortion". Sort of like Jesus's "forgive them for they know not what they do". I shit not, it opens the heart to perceive real world truths that i couldn't perceive before. You mentioned being desensitized out of your feelings. That's the result of chasing euphoria. You know, demons are depicted laughing for a reason. Witness somethinf bad happening to someone else, not to you, and feel the sadness on their behalf. Don't think and don't act. Feel it. That not only undoes the numbness for the sake of feeling alive but also allows perception of truths. It is by staying in touch with the feelings that you can prevent situations like misunderstanding how many aunts she talks about. From then on, research the esoteric concepts mentioned. I know this embracing the sorrow, has been confusing me for years. 3.5 years ago i made a profile here @Pain_Feeler because of this exact esoteric lesson. But still i couldn't activate the soul. I guess not everyone can. The sorrow must be pleasant and relaxing. If it isn't you're probably using the intellect and not the soul.

Reply

What Girls & Guys Said

Opinion

There_Is_Rehab Follow
Xper 2 Age: 22 , mho 67%

1 d

Your subconscious mind made you confused with such an obvious thing because you yourself have dragons in your closet. And those dragons are the exact reason you two are still pairing up.
All we do is reenact our childhood and ancestor dramas until we, if ever, do the occult work.
We do the cleverest things in the world and the dumbest things in the world all because our subconscious mind tells us to.
Trying to keep it short. You intellectualized her grief. She embodied and talked it. Neither of you two have awoken the soul to feel the grief without running away.
And phuck your poll options. They are darkness solutions to a darkness problem. Once a person does shadow work, their past does not matter. She could be a half-dead brothel slave and if her inner christ wins, she does the so-called shadow work, there's no impurity left, no risk of her inflicting her trauma/"demons" on herself or others.

0

5 Reply
- Telekinetic-Potato
  
  1 d
  Hmmmm, Im afraid you might be right about a lot of that. I'm trying not to jump to any conclusions. But I figured I got her a job when she was about to lose her apartment, I introduced her to people who aren't street walking addicts... After that it's not really my responsibility to help right?
  
  That's my whole damage, I don't feel much of anything anymore. I have to intellectualize everything because I'm so burnt out. Otherwise stuff like this happens even more often to me.
  
  I wasn't always like this.
  
- There_Is_Rehab
  
  1 d
  The solution is not to just cut her off. You'll end up in the exact same situation. Why? Because your dragons haven't been pinned down. Your subconscious mind dictates when you pump cortisol and when you pump oxytocin. It will force you to get glued to another women exact the same as her. Nothing you can do to run away from that. She is there to make you face your shadow and you make her face hers.
  
  Don't ask me how i know lol. And that's the general esoteric theme behind suffering. I even successfully brainwashed that autistic musictokku guy on here not to end his life because it will result in reincarnation in the exact same circumstances. The subconscious mind will not only attract him to the same people but also generate the exact same illness.
  
  Well, for that second part anyone is welcome to google "perceptual studies: children who remember past lives: and also do "remote view tournament" mobile app made by researchers, or simply do practice targets online --- merely to prove that mind is not local. DO NOT practice it to get better somehow. You never will and will only regress backward into ancient uncontrollable form of channeling clairvoyance as opposed to self directed truth perception.
  
  Anyway i know that your question was all about the girl here and now, yet that spiritual side is an inevitable part of us keeping us in it. Some people call it karmic necessity. But you probably proved to yourself that there is nothing your intellect can do to escape the subconscious mind generating memory leaks (making you confused about two aunts) no matter how good your cognition is, and the hormones that atteact you to people like her. Not even romantically --- even as friends, it is our hormones choosing whom we're friends with.
  
  And we all were different growing up. Because the "astral body" incarnates mid teen years (hate this terminology or not).
  
- Telekinetic-Potato
  
  1 d
  So you're saying I'm not going to grow personally until our energies are no longer in conflict with eachother?
  
- There_Is_Rehab
  
  1 d
  You're in conflict with her because you both are projecting your own shadows on the other. The fighting is good because it means you're not comfortable being in the shadow. Worse is when the shadow wasn't faced and there is stagnation, usually thanks to excessive materialist quick fixes, which is the direction humanity is headed, merging with the machine to "fix" all soul problems. Don't get it wrong, there is nothing broken in either of your personalities, and in fact, thefe is nothing broken with the anti-soul cosmic impulse ingulfing the earth with deadening automation, birthing robots etc. it is a necessary counter force to strengthen the soul like a gym. And yes, there is no personal growth until the shadow is faced. Everything that makes a surface level compromise is a coping mechanism for soullessness. This whole esoteric thing i am talking about is actually a common theme among every religious tradition. Every one of them. All the myths and legends, even go have a look at my opinion on overweight people, i managed to shove the Saint George (the one on russian emblem and many more) as the core of solving obesity.
  
  One thing that really struck me lately, and I've heard it from rudolf steiner year after year and only grasped now, is the depiction of the jesus figure. Move away from mourning personal subjective losses and into the objective truth. If she name-calls you, do not repress it with "instant forget and forgive." Do not shove it into your body or act it out. Do not intellectualize it like a riddle. Instead, activate your clairvoyance by calibrating your heart. See how name-calling someone is an attack on their "self" or christ ego, or "i am". They don't even have to have it awakened in them in order to see the tragedy. Feel the sadness, but without masochism. A relaxing shoulder-dropping sadness, maybe some belly-deep sniffing reflex as if crying.
  
- There_Is_Rehab
  
  1 d
  Jesus is depicted crying for a reason. But try not crying, crying is the same as screaming and kicking: it externalizes the feeling into the body. It is good actually if you have postural issues, usually from suppressed crying, so then open up your diaphragm. But once that is done start collecting the tears, not in your body, nor the mind, but in the soul. Keep instead brewing the feeling inside yourself, it will pop up the soul like pitching a tent spiritually... but most importantly, do not be afraid of "negative emotions". The fear of them is the only true negativity that exists. Attune them to object truth: name-calling someone is a distortion of the sacred human form. When i am insulted i don't act pissy because my animal mature wants to reestablish dominance, nor do i physically cry to submit. Instead i keep calm and internally tell my soul "this is a distortion". Sort of like Jesus's "forgive them for they know not what they do". I shit not, it opens the heart to perceive real world truths that i couldn't perceive before. You mentioned being desensitized out of your feelings. That's the result of chasing euphoria. You know, demons are depicted laughing for a reason. Witness somethinf bad happening to someone else, not to you, and feel the sadness on their behalf. Don't think and don't act. Feel it. That not only undoes the numbness for the sake of feeling alive but also allows perception of truths. It is by staying in touch with the feelings that you can prevent situations like misunderstanding how many aunts she talks about. From then on, research the esoteric concepts mentioned. I know this embracing the sorrow, has been confusing me for years. 3.5 years ago i made a profile here @Pain_Feeler because of this exact esoteric lesson. But still i couldn't activate the soul. I guess not everyone can. The sorrow must be pleasant and relaxing. If it isn't you're probably using the intellect and not the soul.
  
Badtobad Follow
Xper 3 Age: 36

1 d

Yes you are

0

0 Reply

Am I actually the bad guy for how I handled her grief and drama?

What Girls & Guys Said

Why did she make me the bad guy in this situation?

We're glad to see you liked this post.