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I work as a home health aide with a family. So this family always has a ton of food laying around, especially during holiday feasts with huge multiple trays of food. I have been working with them for an entire year, never have they ever shared any food with me. Not even once. Not that I expect them to give me food.
But... wouldn't it be polite to offer someone food? especially if they are in the room right next to you? If I had a home health aide working for me while I had a shit ton of food during a holiday feast, I would definitely offer some to them. Just being considerate.
I don't know but I feel like it's just inconsiderate to a certain extent. Letting someone just heat up frozen refrigerated dinner in a microwave in front of an entire family feast on the most amazing food. It's not like they're poor and can't afford to share either. This is a financially well off family, with huge trays of food all the time out there in the living room table.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
I mean sure, I guess it could be a bit awkward when you’re having to do things like warm a frozen dinner next to a huge spread of food. But honestly, I would try not to take it personally. You’re an employee, not a guest, so while sharing would be a cool bonus, they’re likely just trying to maintain a professional boundary. And during holiday times, they could just be caught up in their own family chaos (I know some households get pretty bustle-y around that time, mine included), and not thinking about offering you food. Even if it’s something you feel as though you’d think to offer without question, not everyone thinks that way. I’m sure it may be a bit upsetting if you spend excess time around them, it would be nice to feel included on the holidays or for them to think of you in the same high regards and make such offers. But everyone is different.
it's not upsetting but it makes me feel like they don't actually care about me at all. Unkind people. Actions speak louder than words
It’s fair to feel that way, sharing food is how a lot of us show care. But in a job like home health care, a family's boundaries usually have nothing to do with how they feel about you personally. For many employers, keeping a strict line between family time and staff time is just how they maintain a professional space. It doesn't mean they are unkind (unless there’s more to the story), it just means they’re treating this strictly as a professional setup rather than a personal relationship. I’d say try to focus on the work itself and take your breaks in a separate space so you can really disconnect.
you can treat someone professionally but yet still give them food once in a while. It's not a breech of professionalism, it's kindness and consideration and good manners. I have seen airbnb hosts who have served their tenants dinner... not that the tenants paid extra for food... but it's an act of kindness. I have seen other home care patients offer me food before too. I have even worked as a security guard where people deliberately come up to me to say hi, how is your day? would you like me to get you something? a cup of water? I know you had a long day with a smile.
It's not unprofessional at all. It's just courtesy. Not saying everyone needs to be super courteous but I just can't overlook how self centered this family is. I personally would never be this way
Sure, I can agree that some people choose to go above and beyond with their hospitality. But everyone operates differently, and this family clearly chooses to keep a strict, formal boundary between their personal life and their employees, which is fair.
At the end of the day, you can't control how they run their household or force them to see things your way. Since you can't change them, the best thing you can do for your own peace of mind is accept that this is strictly a job, focus on your duties, and use your break time to step away and disconnect from their space when it’s holiday time.
I'm not forcing them to change. But your actions represent who you are. And by doing that, other people can tell a lot about you. And no, it's not ok for you to claim that it's right for these people to be unkind, rude, lack basic human decency. It wouldn't kill you to just offer someone a cookie when you have plenty of them.
Even if it is a professional relationship, it's still basic human decency to offer other people food when you have way too much food laying around. It has nothing to do with boundaries. You can be considerate with boundaries as well. Just because there is a boundary... such as not prying into each other's personal lives... you can still offer someone a plate of food. Spreading goodwill.
We do have boundaries... if I call out of work, I don't tell them why. If they want me to leave work early because they have to bring the child someone, I don't ask where the child is going. We keep our conversations work related... but just because we keep these boundaries, it does not justify you to lack basic human consideration.
I hear you, and it’s clear you have a pretty strong standard for what basic consideration looks like, even within a structured workspace. I think ultimately we just see this situation differently. You place a high value and emphasis on hospitality, while that family operates with a much more rigid and formal approach. Since you can't control how they run their home, I just hope you can find a way to protect your own peace of mind while you are on the clock there. Wishing you the best💛
why not just call them unkind? it's not hard. that's what they actually are.
it takes an uncaring person to eat a shit load of food, have so much left over, but wouldn't give any to the person heating up frozen leftovers in the next room.
I’m not calling them unkind. Why? Because I don't know them, and I don't believe a lack of hospitality automatically makes someone a bad person. People have completely different upbringings, cultural norms, and comfort levels regarding workplace boundaries.
We clearly see this from two very different perspectives, and we aren't going to agree on it. Because of that, I'm going to step away from this conversation now. I truly hope you can find a work environment down the road that feels like a better fit for you babe.
Basic human hospitality dictates that you offer food to someone sitting right in front of you—especially when you are surrounded by an abundance of it.
lack of manners, impolite, borderline rude.
I would say so. If it were me, I might seek employment elsewhere, for someone who really appreciates my services. I bet they don't tip at restaurants either, the cheap skates.
Seems weird AF to me.