Why is finding the middle ground in parenting so hard for many people?

[Anonymous]

They think it's either being tough and always reminding them ''I'm your parent, I'll never be your friend'' or being very soft and saying ''don't worry sweetheart, I'm your best friend''.

This is my version of what I'll be telling my son when he starts talking:

''Mother first and then friend''. I can be both but there are priorities that come in first time. This means I'm focusing on parenting (calling out when he's in the wrong and apply natural or logical consequences) obviously but during my motherhood, I can serve as a guide when he needs help. I've always believe there is a middle ground between being hard (tough love type) and acting like their friend all the time.

[Nikki1989]

Many can't find a balance between being too strict out of fear or too permissive out of exhaustion. It is usually a reflection of how they were raised.

[Asker]

True. I find it pathetic how some hated that harsh way their parents treated them as kids but then as adults come to glorify it and say they'll do the same upbringing. When trying to discuss with them about a balance, they give bad examples of a mother spoiling her kids and how they're delinquents as a result. They always think in extremes. The example they provided isn't a gentle parent with authority; That's a neglectful, permissive one. They really think being harsh is the only single way, copying their parents... failing to think outside the box.
I also think it's ridiculous when others grow up resenting their parents that they become very permissive and even laugh at their child's rudeness. They think not traumatizing their kids like their parents did means spoiling them. I hate extremes. All extremes in life are unhealthy.

[jahaims]

They had bad parents and lack honest introspection so they don't know how to

[Asker]

Yeah they didn't have good examples. One can still learn on their own by reading parenting books.