Why don't girls add guys that they're interested in on FB?

[Anonymous]

There are quite a few girls in my circle of friends/mutual friends (in real life) that seem to be interested but never send me a request, If I'm the one to add them then its all on me to start chatting them up and my nerves always get the best of me, Maybe if they added me first it would make things a lot easier

[Anonymous]

I think that sending a friend request is opening yourself up for rejection, and many girls are simply not used to that. Feeling anxiety because my friend request might be ignored, especially if I like the person, can stop me from sending a friend request.

Plus women are usually used to being pursued, and can sometimes see making the first move as looking desperate (especially when it comes to chatting). I'm definitely generalizing, but if you're more acquaintances than friends, I can see a girl watching and waiting for you to friend them/chat with them, and deciding how you feel about them based on whether you do or not.

I've noticed that guys who want me to add them on Facebook, usually mention Facebook in conversation, and then 'casually' ask the question "are we friends on Facebook?". I know it's ridiculous, but for me that's enough of a green light that I usually friend request them immediately.

However, if you mention Facebook in conversation and they cringe, maybe they are not sending you a friend request for a reason... like they don't want to be your fb friend.

[XRabbitHeartX]

I can't help but wonder what exactly you think will happen if they do happen to friend request you first. I mean, that's in no way a guarantee that they will send you messages first. If anything they'd pretty much leave you to be the one to start chatting , so you're not winning anything. Either way your chances of having to initiate it will be good. As for why girls don't add guys they're interested in.. could be fear. Sometimes girls do fear to add their crushes because that would mean they are now exiting their dream/fantasy phase and are actually doing something towards the situation instead of just sitting back dreaming of that person. Girls also don't want to come of as creepy or also want the guy to make the first move in some cases cause then we know there's a possibility they *might* be liking as back too.

[Asker]

It would give me more of a green light to start talking to them instead of me clicking add friend and then crying about it when they don't except me within the first hour or two or not at all. That kind of stuff kills me for months even years, I haven't been in a relationship just yet and just to get through one convo is an achievement

[Anonymous]

ive done it! and he added back :) but it didn't work out too well because he wasn't that into me :(

i don't know it all seems silly like even with friends/coworkers, its like this game, like this one guy I work with he played smart, he's like 'do you use Facebook?' and I'm like 'uhh yea everyone and their mom has one these days lmao' and he goes' well add me then!' and he wrote his name on a card and gave it to me, and then its just weird like now I have to add him since he wrote it all out and sh*t...hes making me do the dirty work -_-

a girl I know is like that too she's always like you shouldve seen the picture I posted on Facebook it was hilarious, you need to add me! its like wtf why don't you just add me instead of being a show off

[Zerokoool]

Some girls do it, some don't. Not everyone ties their feelings into the friend requests, profile statuses, and group/event invitations used on Facebook/Myspace.

[TheoryOfAvarice]

Exactly this.

[Yeahhbro]

Because it seems desperate somehow? So they leave the dirty work to guys.

[Anonymous]

AHA. Great question. I never do. It's sort of the same as washing your lingerie or waxing your bikini area in front of your guy. It's something you THINK you'd like to see till you actually do... and boy, it's a mess. Meaningless meltdowns and posters of kittens in dog collars -- or whatever girlie things she's into -- isn't necessarily something to which you want to expose yourself.

[lauramor]

because girls want to know the guy likes her or wants to be friends with her.

[Tripz]

because Facebook destroys relationships!

I tell everyone that :)

[bleepbloop]

Because sometimes they don't wanna come across as stalker-ish or creepy so we dont.

[heyitsdan]

Way of the world sadly... gotta be the man

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

Idk I always add everyone